Maybe he deserved it but did his wife?

Still think that was way over the line.

One time Scott Tenorman sold me his pubes for $16.12 but I got even. I made him eat chili with his parents in it. ;)

Cartman: [inspecting Scott Tenorman's chili dish] Huh, this chili looks pretty good. Weh, here's mine.
[hands his chili dish to Scott, who starts eating it]
Scott Tenorman: Mmm. Ah, I don't know. Your chili is pretty good, Cartman, but I think mine is better. Try it.
Cartman: All right.
[takes the dish and starts eating. Both boys munch away for a few moments]
Cartman: Hey, this is great!
[Stan and Kyle stifle giggles]
Scott Tenorman: Eh, it's a special recipe.
Cartman: Gawh, this is really good, Scott!
Scott Tenorman: I'm glad you like it so much, because now that you're almost finished, I have something to tell you.
Cartman: What? You mean about how you put pubes in your chili?
Scott Tenorman: What?
Cartman: Yes, I'm afraid this isn't your chili, Scott. I switched it with Chef's.
[turns to Chef]
Cartman: It's delicious, Chef. I hadn't planned on that. What I did plan on, however, was that my friends, Stan and Kyle, would betray me and warn you that the Chili Con Carnival was a trap.
[Stan and Kyle are stunned]
Cartman: I assumed that they would tell you that I had trained Denkins' pony to bite off your weiner. What they didn't tell you was that Denkins is a crazy redneck who shoots trespassers on sight. Knowing that you would try and do something to the pony, I warned Mr. Denkins that violent pony killers were in the area. I also knew that you wouldn't go yourself, for fear of having your weiner bitten off. You would most likely send your parents. And, I'm afraid that when Mr. Denkins spotted them on his property, he shot and killed both your parents.
Mr. Denkins: Well, they was trespassin' and I was protectin' myself. I, I have my rights!
Scott Tenorman: My... mom and dad are... dead?
Cartman: I came just in time to see Mr. Denkins giving his report to Officer Barbrady. And of course, to steal the bodies. After a night with the hacksaw, I was all ready to put on my Chili Con Carnival, so that I could tell you personally about your parents' demise! And of course, feed you your chili. Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott? I call it, "Mr. & Mrs. Tenorman Chili."
Scott Tenorman: [looks at Cartman for a while, realizing what just happened.] Oh, my God!
[gagging, he fishes through the plate and finds his mom's wedding ring, still on her finger. He tosses it away]
Scott Tenorman: Oh, my God!
[vomits off to the side]
Cartman: [leaps up on the table and sings] Nyahnyahnyahnyah nyah nyah! I made you eat your parents! Nyahnyahnyahnyah nyah nyah!
Stan: ***** ******, dude!
Scott Tenorman: [grief-stricken, he buries his face on the table] My mom and dad are dead!
[he pounds the table.]
Scott Tenorman: No! Nooo!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as Scott Tenorman cries after realizing he ate his parents in a bowl of chili, Radiohead arrive at the scene]
Thom Yorke: Uhm, excuse me?
Stan: Who are you?
Jonny Greenwood: We're that band Radiohead.
Scott Tenorman: [raises his head.] *****!
Ed O'Brien: Jeez, what a li'l crybaby!
Colin Greenwood: Are you gonna cry all day, crybaby?
Thom Yorke: You know, everyone has problems; it doesn't mean you have to be a little crybaby about it.
Ed O'Brien: Come on, guys, let's go. This kid is totally not cool.
Thom Yorke: Yeah, that's the most uncool kid I've ever met.
Phil Selway: Little crybaby!

Several years ago I went out to eat with a buddy. Big guy, 6'4" with same size shoulders. Waitress took us to the back of the restaurant (envision make-out booth), threw the menus down, asked if this was ok as she was walking away. I quickly stated it was more than romantic enough. Buddy started to get rather angry at the joke until he saw the hostess slow down, stop, turn with mouth agape and a horrible look of surprise on her face, and stare at us!!! Us guys just died laughing at her.

Worked with an EOD (explosive ordinance) guy for a couple of years. He had empty casings on his desk with little crackers fitted inside of them. More dings on his desk than you could shake a stick at. Fun until there was a little terrorist action outside of our offices...

This thread will get substantially more interesting if Steve Carlton gets involved.

Still do this today:

Guys in my office forget to lock their laptop when they walk away, I alt-print screen their desktop, save it as a bitmap, then set it up as their wallpaper. Delete all their icons, then watch. They go crazy trying to click on the icons in the picture.

I've been on a tear lately at work with jokes over the last couple months. Lowering peoples chairs a couple inches, putting tape over their mice, disconnecting network connectivity etc. As I write this, I realize I've been out for the past 3 days....I need to check for explosive devices when I return tomorrow....

Hilarious. I will try this tomorrow!

You can also reprogram the autocorrect function in Word with ebonics.


Once I took some neodymium magnets (super strong) and taped each one to my colleagues personal items from his desk. Threw the items (hat, vitamins, etc) up 12 ft to the metal ductwork near the ceiling. Left a note on his desk "look up."

A rubber band on the sink sprayer is always a winner.

speaking of ebonics, you can also change google to the same thing or even to elmer fudd :D

I used to have a pretty good phone prank:

call as AT$T (what ever baby bell rep) --

you: Hello this is Pat Johnson from the AT&T quality center, we are calling to check the quality of your service. We would like to request your cooperation. This will only take 20 seconds.

victim: uh? Really?

you: Yes, it's really quick and simple.

victim: Well, ok ....

you: Please place your phone down and step back about 1 yard and talk as loud as you can.

victim: ok. ...

Have fun laughing and you might be able to catch a few in your cubicle office ;)

Freshmen year in my dorm was an all out war of pranking people's laptops. If you left your computer unlocked every setting would be messed up if you so much as left the room to go to the bathroom. If you had any saved passwords for websites, everything there would be messed up to. It got out of hand. My parents were coming into town and I left for class and got back about 5 mins before my parents go there. Luckily I had because my friends had put porn all over our room, spread out all the booze all over my desk, and spread condoms all over my bed.

My other friend and I got them back buy hiding lunch meat and milk in their backs of their closets and in the heater and all over the room. It took them days to find everything.

Our other favorite trick involved water balloons. Our dorms are three story buildings, with an attic, so the stairwells go up 4 floors. At the top of 4th floor there is a little circular window that you can push open, and it overlooked the door to the dorm perfectly. In order to get into the dorm, you have to swipe a card so people are stationary in front of the door for a few seconds. We would camp out up there and drop water balloons on people all the time. There was nothing more satisfying than a direct hit to the top of the head.

Put a coworkers moped on a 12' high ledge.

Uncle put habanero (sp?) peppers in my smokes (long since quit)

Put squid under coworkers car seats in summer

Froze coworkers keys in giant block of ice

Ordered a gay magazine subscription for mgr of a rest .i worked at. it was delivered to the rest.

Re-mapped the keys on coworkers keyboard (ie hitting 'e' got you something else)

Reversed mouse on coworkers computer (moving up makes it go down)

Removed spark plug from coworkers moped.

Covered coworkers car with rubber mats from kitchen (I paid for that one dearly)