Not peeing right here
 

Just walked a block to the corner store to get a 2 litre of coke.

We live right next to a fairly nice restaraunt. The corner parking spot of the lot is close enough to our front door that we can read the license plate. And the date on the tabs sticker, if there was one on our front plates...

I open the door, I step out facing the parking lot. I'm a little shocked to see a tall guy standing in the shadows. 15 feet away, maybe? One of thier patrons, headed home after they're closed...
He's a little more shocked than me, though....

I can see the stream as it catches the light...

"Not peeing right here!" he says in a rather sheepish voice.

I cackle and say "At least we can pee outdoors with ease" and continue up the driveway. I head him say to a friend "oh geeze..."


I think I'll have to call the restaraunt tomorrow and ask them to ask thier patrons not to pee so close to our front door...

I would love to condem the fellow, but I had done some rather shabby things in my life....

I once caught our mail man taking a piss behind our house. I just laughed. People who don't clean up after their dogs however, are another matter.....

Well.. I can't either. I once took a leak on The Ave. In daylight. You know where that is....

I was younger...and much more daring. In fact...I was dared...:D

We have guys taking a leak right outside our front door...there's a nice 'private corner' just about 6 feet away...

Now its real private....

BUT its just below the watering point on our roof terrrace...

And its not unkown for the watering hose to 'escape' my control at times...and well...

If you piss on a building one day the building might piss back...

Its a hoot to see them step away undone for all to see...












Childish I know...but fun, on a sunny day at least.

I already know I'm going to hell. I once pee'd on a church.

OTOH, it was in DC, so the fact that I was already in hell might change the situtation.

Ba$tard! :mad:








:p

When we used to rent an apt downtown, things would sometimes get a little wacky on the weekends.

9-11pm and then 2-3 am were often the worst, as people stumbled to & from the bars.

One Saturday night at arount 10pm I was going to move the car from the street into our parking space. I step out the front door and there was some young punk standing in front of my car, facing away from me. As I approached, I notice he is peeing on the front fender.

In one of those moments where I ACT before I THINK, I just shoved him TOWARDS the pee-soaked car, knocking him off balance onto the hood, and onto the ground, peeing all over himself. He got up and ran off , but there was no way he was going to the bar like THAT.

I can understand why Ozzy did it because I almost peed on the Alamo. During the day there's a bunch of people around, but at night the Alamo is just another dark place around the riverwalk. I was about to pee and one of my buddies mentioned the Ozzy incident. Then I realized the larger significance of the adobe wall I was standing in front of :o

C'mon, anyone who's ever consumed alcohol in public has peed SOMEWHERE they weren't supposed to. Years ago in high school I always found it amusing how normal it was to pee in the woods during parties. Not uncommon to see a line of guys, all facing away from the party, pissing into the woods.

agreed. Especially in the summer, when many parties were at cottages on septic systems. It was considered poor form for an able-bodied male to use the toilet for a pee... one big party could overflow a septic system.

However, peeing ON things like houses, cars and passed-out friends is uncouth... unless they deserved it.

A friend of mine got drunk at our house about a year ago and decided to head outside to pee. Why he decided to pee outside is beyond me since we have 4 bathrooms...anyhow he comes back in and announces proudly that he peed on a tennis ball outside.

Turns out it was my son's tee-ball set! Needless to say we didn't use that tee ball set anymore.

And so it is, another Essential Truth is discovered on PPOT.

Peeing is a sacred form of male self-expression.

Just remember, you get what you pay for.

Every new home I've ever moved into, after the first beer, I pee off of the deck.
Not sure why.
After a few on the river, used to pee off of the pulpit on the boat. Sort of like that Leonardo DiCaprio thing, "I'm king of the word!"

Many years ago after sushi and many beers/sakes in Santa Barbara I took a leak in the bushes in the parking lot behind the restaurant. As I stepped out of the bushes a cop on a bike pulled up, said I know what you were doing, and wrote me up. He also said he was supposed to take me in for such an offense but seeing as I was being such a nice guy he would let me go.
I get a letter for the S.B. PD saying I have to pay the fine in person (S.B. being about a hundreds miles from my house) I say great, take a day off work, and motor up to S.B. on the prescribed day to pay for my dirty deed. While waiting in line with some pretty seedy people I look at the wall with a poster listing various fines...
Urinating in public $200
Naked in public $100
Smoking marijuana in public $75

So it would have been cheaper if I was smoking a joint naked!

Back when I was a teen, a group of friends and I were up to no ggod in a remote neighborhood.

I had to really go, so I stepped out of the car and took a leak in somone's front yard against a tree.
Next thing I know, the homeowner is right next to me tapping my shoulder.
Surprised, I turned and whizzed on his legs and shoes....

I'd forgotten about that.



KT

Years ago, my Mom saw the garbage guy come up the driveway to pick up their trash (yes, they came up to the house to pick it up -- still do, actually).

Anyway, she had some more garbage she wanted to get out, so she took it out to the (detached) garage to give it to the guy. But she couldn't find him. She looked behind the garage & was shocked to find that the guy was taking a leak. They were both stunned! He said, "Sorry, ma'am, but when you have to go, you have to go."

I am not sure she ever got over it. She was appalled. I think it is pretty funny. We teased her about it for years.

at my jobs there never anywhere to go but behind the truck, fence, tree, etc. one time while behind a 6 ft fence, I whipped it out and started wetting the fence. I could see a blue shirt thru the cracks walking by. since the guy working for me was wearing a blue shirt, I figured I might as well give him a squirt. well, happened to be the female owner of the house coming around. she stopped, leaned around the gate the same time I leaned over to laugh at who I thought was my guy. so there we were face to face with me squirting thru the fence crack at her feet. she got this shocked look on her face, went inside and didn't come back out until we finished the job. another time the owner decided she needed to talk to me the same time I'm draining the lizard on the opposite side of a 28ft aboveground pool. she starts walking around the pool and I start walking the opposite way. hard to do in action. she eventually caught up with me, I tried tp put it away, but was a little too late before she rounded my side of the circle.

visit chinatown in san francisco. you will see more dcik than you ever imagined. bring a tool to gouge your own eyes out. erasing the "mind's eye" will require copious amounts of alchohol...

i once was walking with my GF, on my right i saw this. shaved bald asian guy. tourqoise shirt, knee length denim shorts, white flipflops. pissing in the street,,facing traffic. my GF screamed. i wanted to punch him.

LOL, what an image

Ah... what could be better than sharing pee stories on a Friday afternoon.

My GF needed to use her brothers washer and dryer, we go over to his house and meet his very beautiful wife, their house is a two story new mini mansion in a new housing track with an ocean view in Encinitas stuffed with expensive antiques. After the wife gave us the full tour of the house we started the laundry and the three of us sat down to watch TV. From that room you could look out a sliding glass door to their yard where her two sons were playing with four or five other boys from the neighborhood, I'm guessing they were all in the ten to twelve year old age give or take a year or two.

Ever once in a while one of the boys would run to the back of the yard and disappear around the back of the fence for a few minutes. My GF asked what are they doing back there?

The very proper little wife embarrassed admitted... oh... they are peeing.

my best peeing story:

a buddy of mine from hawaii needed to drive from san francisco to fresno. i was recently transplated from texas, and he is from an island...needlessly to say we got very lost. we are just driving down the highway, when we see a jacked up chevy blazer on the side of the road. my friend pulls over for directions. we pull up behind the blazer and i look out the side window. i see THREE women with their backs to us pissing in the dirt! they all stood up, pulled up their thongs, then jeans and walked over to our car. one chick says, "so you like the show?" i had no game so i just said...."hummfflflthtathltea" they were absolutely hot...we finally made it to fresno.

some years ago i was out with a friend on a road trip. we stopped at an antique shop to look around. after a while my buddy asked to use the head, and was refused, rather rudely at that. he continued browsing, when we left our next stop was for gas and pee, i went in to unload and before we left i asked if he was going to go too. he told me that he had already gone...... while he had been browsing the antique shop he filled a vase.

Ok, so I have to say this......

Wait a sec, I'll be right back...

Ok, I feel better now....

What was I going to say?

As my house was being built (3years ago) I took a walk in the basement to start working on the wiring (lan, phone elec) only to be greeted by a large pile of poo in the corner. Turns out the Mexicans they hire for this work just feel the need to crap in every house they work on, I talked to the concrete workers that pour the basements and they said every house gets the same treatment from wonderful imports. (SICK). Worse is the fact that port-o-potties are near by so there is no need for this.

I'll always remember when I was at USCB and partying one evening in Isla Vista. Peeing in public in Isla Vista was a big no-no with a hefty fine. I need to pee bad so I scope out the whole street packed with drunk college students like myself and see no Sheriffs around. So I discretely duck down a driveway and find a small a grove of trees to relieve myself.

Well a newbie freshman in our group see me go down the drive way and follows. I’m in the trees peeing and he starts to piss on one of the cars. Well a foot patrol Sherriff walks by, see the newbie and walks down the driveway to write him up. That’s when he see’s me. I look at the newbie and said, “What the hell you are you doing, now you got me busted.” The Sheriff make a quick judgment call. I get off because I used better judgment peeing in the trees. The newbie get the book. Peeing, drunk in public and no identification. He spent the night in the drunk tank or as in Isla Vista, hand cuffed to all the other drunks on the sidewalk in front of the Sherriff’s office.

Halloween was always the best. W’d walk by the Sherriff’s office and see Han Solo, Wonder Woman, a doctor, an ape, Indiana Jones, Batman, Superman, Spiderman and a bunch of hookers/French maids etc. all hand cuffed together sitting on the sidewalk waiting to get booked. Funny stuff!

had a roomate in college that got so drunk he got lost in his own bedroom and ended peeing into his own laundry basket. wakes up the next afternoon and everything he just washed the day before was soaking wet with a strange oder. :)

Ive pee'd many places in public. On the top of large hills, in neighbors yards, on fences, in the backyards of houses, never pissed on a cop car though.

When i was a sophomore in college in (I'm now a senior) my roommate came back from a party completely **** faced. So the dude went to bed and then woke up a few minutes later and started to piss in his pile of laundry, I have no idea if it was clean or dirty. I told him to go to the bathroom about 3 feet from the door, so he left the room. When he returned a few minutes later he knocked on the door and was holding his boxers in his hand. I have no idea where he pissed that night (besides the laundry), but i remember it being funny as all hell the next morning.

Returning from Mexico years ago, I was waiting in the long line. I was driving my '70 VW camper. A weird looking beggar came up to the driver side window to beg for money. I just smiled & said "No gracias." I could see that made him mad by the look on his face. I watched him in the side mirror as he walked to the back of the van & around the back to the other side back corner. Looking through the passenger side mirror, I could see that he was going to pee on my van. The car in front of me pulled ahead, but I waited until he had it out and was ready to let go. At that point I let out the clutch and pulled ahead quickly leaving him standing there pissing into the air in front of everybody. A Mexican cop ran over and hauled him off the the sideline. The look on his face as he stood there pissing in front of hundreds of cars "was priceless."

Oh the memories.

it's water, with some ammonia in it... some people actually use that exact combination to clean things...

gull's,pigeon's, cat's and dogs piss on any spot you can lay your eyes on

as long as one tries to keep it somewhat decent(exposure, repetitious group use of specific areas), what's the big deal?
seriously, man has been pissing everywhere for thousands of years, and only recently have we become overly sensitive of it...

It's not like we are talking dookie's here
those, i agree, require proper disposal, and those do carry all sorts of bad bacteria and whatnot...
but piss, is just sterile water with some ammonia in it...it's not the end of the world

was in the back seat of a canoe on a beautiful summer day fishing the local river. we had anchored for lunch and of course my cooler w/sandwich, chips and open soda were in front of me. had to pee and so stood up (carefully) and aimed off to the side as best i could.

my uncle was with me. he's a jokester. ok, so am i. so i should've seen it coming; he rocked the canoe just enough that i peed all over my lunch and soda. i was pissed but it was a good one.

When I was at university one of our typical girls night outs was a movie and a late night pizza and beer. One of our favourite spots had black glass (we could see out but passers-by could not see in) and it was set slightly below street level. The black glass faced the street and an alley, the alley was much used by patrons of nearby pubs after they had closed for a refreshing pee. Late night diners were often entertained by these gentlemen peeing against the black glass slightly above eyelevel if you were seated. Hilarious for a group of girls, giggly on beer or liebfraumilch.

About 7 miles from my former lease was a hill that overlooked an intersection of a highway and a farm to market road. This particular hill was a great veiwing position for the border patrol, it is in a area where illegals and smugglers frequently run. We almost always stopped to take a piss at the intersection. Most times we arrived there after dark, and several times the look out was manned. Ocassionally we'd get the lights put on us. Of course, a lot of the time the passengers were drunk and took to singing, etc... like they were on stage or something. Fun times, except for that one time when they used the PA/bull horn.

In 1994, I was driving on probably the most remote highway I have ever been on in New Mexico. At one point, on a nearby road, I saw a sign that read "Last McDonalds for 120 miles".

Anyway, I was on a 60-mile or so stretch of 2-lane where I only passed 2-3 cars going the other way. I did not see any cars in front of me or behind me for the entire 60 miles. As I was driving, off in the distance I saw a car facing me that was pulled over to the side of the road.

As I got closer I could see that the passenger door was open. And as was about to pass it, I saw there was young woman in the driver's seat who was laughing hysterically. As I passed I looked into my rear-view mirror & saw the backside of another young woman who had been squatting behind the open passenger door. She was trying to pull her pants up as fast as she could!

Seems she "had to go" & they figured there would be no traffic, so what the heck. However, the unexpected passing of my car caught them off guard, which her friend found quite funny. I had a good laugh about it too!