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Chuck Norris vs. Jack Bauer
discuss
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04-17-2008, 12:04 PM
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Control Group
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What, in a fight? You are kidding right.
Chuck would beat Jack like a rented mule, would probably beat him to death if Jack made the mistake of shooting him and rousing his anger.
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She was the kindest person I ever met |
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04-17-2008, 12:07 PM
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Friend of Warren
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Lincoln, NE
Posts: 16,495
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On the set of Walker, Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse-kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck taketh away.
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Kurt V No more Porsches, but a revolving number of motorcycles. |
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04-17-2008, 12:13 PM
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This one time at band camp Jack Bauer killed a 6 year old terrorist
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04-17-2008, 12:15 PM
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Just because Jack Bauer shows up with jumper cables doesn't mean someone called Triple-A
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04-17-2008, 12:17 PM
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Unregistered
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy
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Chuck Norris invented the theory of relativity, and when Einstein tried to steal his theory Chuck roundhouse kicked him and he turned into Stephen Hawking.
One time Chuck did a roundhouse kick so hard his foot went faster than the speed of light and it went back in time and killed Amelia Earhart over the pacific. Before going to bed, the boogey-man checks the closet for Chuck Norris. |
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04-17-2008, 12:29 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Texas
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Chuckie does alot of fancy kicking a slapping ,
BUT he doesn't finish it.. Bad guys always have another day, or walk to the police van. Jack, well he just kills them. Rika |
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04-17-2008, 12:29 PM
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GAFB
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Raleigh, NC, USA
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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04-17-2008, 12:30 PM
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When Chuck Norris does push ups, he isn't pushing his body up, but pushing the earth away.
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04-17-2008, 12:33 PM
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Bandwidth AbUser
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: SoCal
Posts: 29,522
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Who's Jack Bauer?
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Jim R. |
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04-17-2008, 12:34 PM
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Location: Mt. Doom
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Chuck.
24 is about the lamest thing on TV. Oh yea, I said that.
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04-17-2008, 12:49 PM
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least common denominator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
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This is harly a contest...
Now how about Bruce Lee Vs Chuck Norris?
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Gary Fisher 29er 2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone  1995 Miata Sold 1984 944 Sold I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo. |
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04-17-2008, 12:57 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Mt. Doom
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Quote:
 At least in the script. In reality...I gotta go with The Dragon.
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3.2 targa |
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04-17-2008, 12:58 PM
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i'm just a cook
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: downtown vernon,central new york
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before the boogieman goes to sleep he looks under the bed for chuck norris.
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04-17-2008, 01:07 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Colorado, USA
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Chuck Norris v. Imperial Star Destroyer . . . that we can talk about.
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04-17-2008, 01:10 PM
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Bandwidth AbUser
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: SoCal
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Chuck Norris is the boogieman.
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Jim R. |
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04-17-2008, 01:11 PM
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I'd have to see a picture of Chuck's daughter 'cuz based on the look of Jack's daughter Kim, I'd say Jack has the superior genetic material.
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04-17-2008, 01:24 PM
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Chuck loses a man card for selling home gym equipment. I don't think Chuck is doing very well financially these days...
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04-17-2008, 01:28 PM
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Gon fix it with me hammer
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Only reason Chuck Norris is still around, is because Bruce Lee wanted a real challenge, instead of a readbearded white boy...
So he decided to test if he could 1 inch punch his own head and do a diy KO... just to know what it feels like... It really bothered him and it was just not going to happen that anybody else would knock him out... so he did it himself... It actually worked, albeit with great delay... for years after the punch, Bruce only noticed strange headaches, until finally his mind finally caved under the tremendous power of that punch he gave himself...
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04-17-2008, 01:32 PM
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Unregistered
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy
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Bruce ree made silly noises and faces. How tall was he, about four foot nuthin?
Chuck has chunks of guys like Bruce Lee in his stool. |
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04-17-2008, 01:41 PM
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1979 Porsche 911SC 3.0
2004 Mazda Miata
BimForce the Third, Esquire
