Chuck Norris twice punched a man in the soul.
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.




K.T.
1973 911 E 2.4 MFI
1983 911 SC
1978 911 SC
1965 Devin "D" / 1967 912 Power Plant
1998 GMC Serra 4X4 Z71
John Deere LT166
Money Can Buy Happiness........Buy A Porsche......a

As much as I like Chuck, Bruce Lee's slower brother is the "Speed of Light."

so is this a typo or your attempt at humor?

Chuck couldn't get a likable preacherman the Replublican nomination.

Jack has Republicans nationwide frothing at the prospect that, they too, can torture someone and be the hero of the day.

Never seen 24, but game goes to Jack B.

Bruce > Chuck

Kimbo Slice?

Be like water making its way through cracks.
Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it.
If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water.
If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.
You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle.
You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot.
Now, water can flow or it can crash.
Be water my friend

http://www.chucknorrisisgod.com/index.php
In Dante's Inferno, Dante went to hell because he thought it was the safest place to hide from Chuck Norris.

LOL, didn't see that. No it wasn't intentional. i'm one of those two finger typers who don't look at the screen while i type so who knows what I'll end up with.

It may have been a slip, I don't speak for my subconcious. That's freud's job.

Jack Bauer.

You can't karate-chop a bullet!

Chuck Norris once walked into a Burger King and ordered a Big Mac.

He got it.

Meh. The Burger "King" is pretty effeminate.

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JLO1YIWQuXE&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JLO1YIWQuXE&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

YAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236 It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
It takes Chuck Norris 2 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Noah built the Arc because he heard Chuck taking a piss.

Everbody loves Chuck Norris, because everbody who doesn't love Chuck Norris is already dead.

I rest my case.:D

Financial facts about Chuck Norris...
 

Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people,'' goes one. ``Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris,'' goes another.

Similar thinking can be applied to the current state of financial markets. Here, then, is the world of money recast in Chuck Norris terms.

Chuck Norris doesn't target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy.

The Chuck Norris dollar buys 3 Canadian dollars, and trades at parity with the euro.

Chuck Norris doesn't supply collateral, only collateral damage.

The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.

When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also rises.

Chuck Norris trades on fear and greed simultaneously.

Alan Greenspan calls Chuck Norris ``The Maestro.''

Chuck Norris has already banked his dividend payment from Northern Rock Plc.

Chuck Norris funds at Libor flat.

Chuck Norris Asset Management made 50 percent on its subprime mortgage-backed bond fund last month.

Chuck Norris doesn't borrow at the Fed's discount window. Chuck Norris LENDS at the Fed's discount window.

Chuck Norris's curves never invert.

Net income at Goldman Sachs Group Inc. rose 79 percent in the third quarter; profit at Chuck Norris Securities Inc. climbed 80 percent.

There is no market regulator. Just a list of securities Chuck Norris allows to be traded.

Chuck's iPhone never needs recharging.

Chuck Norris doesn't buy gold to hedge against inflation. Gold buys Chuck Norris to hedge against inflation.

Chuck Norris charges the Bank of England a penalty rate for borrowing. And guarantees its deposits.

Chuck Norris is the pilot Ben Bernanke calls when he wants to shower the economy with dollar bills. Sometimes, Chuck refuses to fly.

Chuck Norris gets ALL of his funding from the asset-backed commercial paper market.

Chuck Norris doesn't mark-to-market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.

When the U.S. economy sneezes, the world catches a cold. When Chuck Norris sneezes, the U.S. economy catches pneumonia.

When Chuck Norris makes you a price, it isn't an offer; it's an obligation to buy.

Chuck Norris isn't a market maker; he IS the market.

Chuck Norris can still get a 125 percent mortgage on a $2 million condo without providing proof of earnings.

Chuck Norris subprime collateralized debt obligations still trade at 100 percent of face value.

Chuck completed Halo 3 on his Microsoft Corp. Xbox 360 on the day before the computer game went on sale.

Chuck Norris has a trade surplus with China.