Pelican Parts Forums

Pelican Parts Forums (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/)
-   Off Topic Discussions (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/)
-   -   Red-Beard for President (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/405496-red-beard-president.html)

red-beard 04-23-2008 04:55 AM

Red-Beard for President
 
As you may, or may not know, I am running for President of the United States. I am formally annoucing that I am a candidate for President for the 2016 election. Why announce so far out? Well, the election cycles are extending, and I think it will take 8 years to re-educate the people of this country.

If Elected, I will work to:

Eliminate Personal income, Corporate, death, capital gains, etc taxes. It will be replaced with a consumption tax. The exclusions on this tax will be those generally exempted from sales tax: Basic necessities. I would include in this vehicles under a certain value, fuel, etc. The Percentage will be changed as needed.

Remove all drug laws. Period. All.

Release from Prision all non-violent drug offenders.

Remake welfare. Using the above prisons which are now vacant, we will create public housing. The guards will stay on to keep order! Food, a place to sleep, work out facilities, basic medical care will be provided. No other welfare provided. No, it will not be pretty, but it will keep people alive. HOWEVER, all people in the welfare program will be required to take birth control pills, or injections. Doesn't meet you religous beliefs? Too bad, let your church take care of you then.

Health care: Create a basic set of "free" clinics. These will be staffed by the doctors with the lowest grades, but still passed. The docs will be paid a basic salary, and require no malpractice insurance. No malpractice lawsuits allowed out of this program. Medicare, etc be converted to this system. Only basic drugs will be given out with the program. Elective surgurey, transplants, hip replacements, gender changes, etc, are not covered.

Gun laws: All repealed, with the exception that felons cannot own firearms. There will be a process for felons to rehabilatate their right.

Lawsuits: All that are taken on a contingent basis, the LAWYER will be required to pay the legal fees of the other Law firm if they lose. They need some skin in the game.

Abortion: I don't like it, but if YOU want one, go get one.

Military: If you are an active duty member of the armed forces, you do not pay any taxes. Reservists/National guard will get a "discount" card which will some percentage off, equal to the amount of time served in a year. If Active duty, full exemption.

Speed Limits: Set by each state.

Drinking age: 16 yrs old, unless your parents are present. Then it is whatever THEY say.

What Else should I add to my platform? SmileWavy

Seahawk 04-23-2008 04:58 AM

What Else should I add to my platform?


Working:)

Porsche-O-Phile 04-23-2008 05:00 AM

I'd vote for ya'.

Sounds like you might do better in Congress though.

onewhippedpuppy 04-23-2008 05:00 AM

Can I be your VP? We're both engineers, we'd have the geek vote all wrapped up.

Mo_Gearhead 04-23-2008 05:04 AM

My God ...I could never vote for a candidate with a RED BEARD! The horror!

(Perhaps if you had a sex change or joined the New Black Panthers?)

Mule 04-23-2008 05:09 AM

Unfortunately, a campaign based on logic & reason has not a prayer in today's America, but I'd knock doors for ya'!

lendaddy 04-23-2008 05:26 AM

Illegals? Foreign policy?

But I gotta tell ya I like what I see so far :)

KFC911 04-23-2008 05:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lendaddy (Post 3903020)
...But I gotta tell ya I like what I see so far :)

+1. Since power (and the retention of) seems to corrupt so many, term limits should be a given. Career politicians should be eliminated imo...

onewhippedpuppy 04-23-2008 05:37 AM

F-'em all foreign policy - the USA has been the policeman of the world for too long. Sending billions without thanks abroad, all while our national debt rises exponentially. Despite our efforts, the rest of the world loves to hate us. So to that, I say, "we're out". We're taking a few years off, and fixing our own problems. So, while we're away, I would suggest calling France, Germany, Russia, or any of the abundance of other countries that is perfectly capable of helping. This does not count for countries like Canada, Australia, etc that have stood beside us without wavering. To them I say, "we're cool".

onewhippedpuppy 04-23-2008 05:43 AM

Immigration - radical overhaul of the entire system. Increase visas for highly educated individuals interested in coming to America, but selection is based on domestic DEMAND so as to not put Americans out of a job. As for the illegals, step one is to build a big fence along the border. Step two is to simply enforce the laws on the books. Criminal penalties for employers of illegal workers. To that end, the INS would be strengthened, and actively seek out these employers and illegals. Allow law enforcement to verify citizenship, and immediately deport any who are not here legally. Streamline the process to becoming an American citizen, including learning American history and english. If you can't learn it, you can't come in.

Porsche_monkey 04-23-2008 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy (Post 3903028)
F-'em all foreign policy - the USA has been the policeman of the world for too long. Sending billions without thanks abroad, all while our national debt rises exponentially. Despite our efforts, the rest of the world loves to hate us. So to that, I say, "we're out". We're taking a few years off, and fixing our own problems. So, while we're away, I would suggest calling France, Germany, Russia, or any of the abundance of other countries that is perfectly capable of helping. This does not count for countries like Canada, Australia, etc that have stood beside us without wavering. To them I say, "we're cool".


Save money by reducing the militaries job to defending your border. Period.

charleskieffner 04-23-2008 05:50 AM

first and foremost, i want to throw my hat in the ring for the exalted position of:

head of the prezidential security detail(w/white house credit card-no limit) and prezidential head of your escort services(i will cull all the mutts).

next i want you to declare baja norte and baja sur the 51st state before the messikans completely screw up the entire peninsula.

baja would make a perfect miss-kill launching site for north korea if they choose to continue with their nuke program.

baja would also allow a port for arizona which the dumbass elected officials couldnt figure out years ago. this would enhance commerce greatly and allow porsches and parts to be shipped cheaper to arizona.

i would really like to see all anti gunners placed in various slums/barrios/downtown areas of various cities for 1 week and see how many survive and how many rethink their dumbass anti gun stance.

i would like to see also train service (bullet trains of course) initiated across the u.s. again to service small towns and this would allow us to reuse our mobile nuke-clar missile trains as a deterrent to any fool country that wants to lob a few nukes at us. they would be hidden in various areas around the u.s. and could not be seen by satellites ever.

ive only had 2 cups of coffeee since 4am..........a few more and i'll be on a roll!

Joeaksa 04-23-2008 06:08 AM

I would be happy to fly your jet...

looneybin 04-23-2008 09:13 AM

I'd be glad to provide architectural services for your presidential library after your 2 terms are over

scottmandue 04-23-2008 09:49 AM

I apply for the job of boobie inspector!

I said it first!

looneybin 04-23-2008 09:57 AM

DAMN, why didn't i think of that :)

Rick Lee 04-23-2008 10:07 AM

How about a federal ban on non-hands-free cell phones and texting while driving? Mandatory minimum in a labor camp of strict regime for first violation.

DaveE 04-23-2008 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC911 (Post 3903027)
+1. Since power (and the retention of) seems to corrupt so many, term limits should be a given. Career politicians should be eliminated imo...

I have some ideas on how to "eliminate" them....................

KFC911 04-23-2008 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveE (Post 3903586)
I have some ideas on how to "eliminate" them....................

I'm all ears (and not Ross Perot), but think that position would be more suited for M21sniper (assuming he wants the job) :)

tabs 04-23-2008 11:05 AM

I WANA RUN AGAINST YOU...

Global Warming..what global warming....turn the AC on a little higher

Prisons should be abolished and we should return to Sharia Law...sell drugs off with your head, get caught stealing..chop off a hand...

Guns....throw the LIbs down in the GHETTTO and lets see how long it takes them to arm themselves. and if they don't make it well then they should have armed themselves if they wana live down in the Ghettoooo. I also think making Libs live in the Ghetto would be a good thing as they won't have to travel so far to help out the unfortunateds they are always harping about. Now they can really help on a daily basis...like getting robbed, raped and beaten.

Fergin Policy..Welll GW is MY HERO...talk smack about AMERIKA...and we bomb em back to the stone age...Oh wait some of em are already there. Well then we anthrax em

Welfare...work or starve, child labor laws are really overrated.

Abortions...we stearlize all the poor people

Free drugs...let everybody get high, we will put it in the water for Christs sake..the more stupified people are well the more my friends and I can steal...Ohhh wait Americans are allready stupified.

Illegals....hey slavery is highly underrated...they are here illegally anyway. Let em come...I hear them cotton fields acallin...or is it Strawberrys.

Lawsuits...well the losing attorney should have to live down in the Ghetto.

Education...information is a dangerous thing, can't let the people have too much knowledge, the education system in America is just fine the way it is.

TAXES..We tax the OPEC nations for protecting them from themselves...our military has got to do something anyway to keep busy. TAX collecting is a good occupation for them.

VOTE FOR ME>>>TABS DICTATOR FOR LIFE>>>>Ohhh I forgot to tell you that part, well... do to the international conpiracy of terrorists we need to declare martial law and suspend the Constitution.


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:59 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright 2025 Pelican Parts, LLC - Posts may be archived for display on the Pelican Parts Website


DTO Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.