Banned From Walmart...........
 

BANNED FROM WALMART...........
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
after Mr. and Mrs. Brown retired, Mrs. Brown insisted her husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Brown was like most
men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Brown was like most women--she loved to
browse. One day Mrs. Brown received the following letter from
her
local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Skip Brown,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Brown are listed
below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of
condoms andrandomly put them in people's carts when
they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right way.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 18: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other

shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding
department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using
different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK
ME! PICK ME!'
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least ..
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, then yelled
very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Regards, WalMart

I'm going to have to remember some of these. Thanks for the laughs!

Try wearing a big puffy coat in the summer and keep ducking security as they try to follow you around.

This is very very funny! I haven't laughed in 4 weeks ---- thanks.

Sounds like me, it helped here too, and after a very bad weekend too:(

thanks for the post.. funny as hell

Funny stuff :)!

Always good to start the day with a smile on your face!

Thanks!

The guy wanted to get caught. It was just a plea for help!:D

Daddy.....

Awesome.. thanks for posting!

I've gotten this before, but it's always good for a laugh when having a bad day. Thanks for sharing! :)

Joe,

Since you are not getting a 650, a joke is all you get (and need). Ouch! Just kidding, man!

BTW, it is unfortunate that a Sr. Member did not honor his words.