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Priceless test answers. A compilation

the last one in the second post is scary...

"expand" was funny as was "find x"

About the physics problem with the elephant: The question asks, "Does the object continue to move after it comes to rest?" What kind of a stupid question is that? I'd like to see a compilation of stupid test questions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nostatic (Post 4097627)

the last one in the second post is scary...

Agreed. I'm guessing the "see me" was not to indicate an acceptance of the student's request? Back in my day that would've been at LEAST a suspension, possibly an expulsion.

Scary how? That kids think that way or would ever write that? then yeah, I concur.
I'm taking the response as "see me....there's a seat waiting in the principal's office for you".

Quote:

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile (Post 4098705)

Back in my day that would've been at LEAST a suspension, possibly an expulsion.

Something tells me that today's response is not like it used to be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckissick (Post 4098660)

Actually, it's completely correct. The object will come to rest, and then might move, and the students should figure that out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pazuzu (Post 4098891)

Actually, it's completely correct. The object will come to rest, and then might move, and the students should figure that out.

You mean it might move if the elephant kicks it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckissick (Post 4098995)

You mean it might move if the elephant kicks it?

It's basic physics, just like the question. The ball will roll down, compress the spring, and then come to rest at some point of compression. Will the ball then start moving again?

An object at rest tend to remain at rest untill acted upon by an outside force. The question is, will there be an outside force (like gravity or a spring) acting upon the ball when it comes to rest?
Yes.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term examination paper. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, which is that "gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed" or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

Quote:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then option 2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only A.

The engineering student and the princess

An engineering student was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess”.

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”

The engineering student took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”

Again the engineering student took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you forever and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?”

The engineering student said, “Look I'm an engineering student. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog? Now that's cool.”

HA that George Clooney paper is hillarious.

Quote:

In his spare time, George Clooney liked to record hit country-rap singles and walk around town with his huge blue cow, Oprah Winfrey

Now that's funny.

The following concerns a question in a physics exam at the University of Copenhagen in Denmark several decades ago...

The simple question was: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer." To which one student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student then appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the University appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer, which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

* "Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."

* "Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."

* "But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi square root (l / g)."

* "Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

* "If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

* "But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

Who was the student ?

Niels Bohr, who later won the Nobel prize for physics.

Some of those had me laughing until I cried. Thanks!

The one that says "fold at line A" and has the dinosaur eating all the people is definitely my favorite. :)