New threat levels in Europe...
 

The British government, in relation to recent terrorist threats, have have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists themselveshave been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

It was quite funny until I got to the last paragraph... SmileWavy

Paco:

No offense intended!

Cheers,

Paul.

No offense taken at all.

But you should know that we have real submarines in our navy and even a plane carrier!!!!

Are any of them still floating?


Sorry Paco, I can't resist. Being Dutch I am quite keen to hear commentary on the reaction of the Dutch military to the increased threat levels....Stijn?

Dennis

funny stuff

Dennis, you gotta stop calling me Dutch, or else i'll have to start calling you "bloody yank"

the Dutch threat levels are probably ranked light orange, medium orange and dark orange
As long as it's ..... Orange. They'll be quite happy to have a marathon meeting with massive quantities of coffee,
to discuss and negotiate with the threat untill said threat falls over from sleep deprivation and/or boredom
At which point they will give him a residence permit, welfare checks, a renting subsidy...

you forgot the cup of tea and talk things over first :D

Hey, I didn't mean to insult you that much...intent was to have a Belgian offer a view on the Dutch military threat levels....

I mean, it would just be plain rude to call a Belgian a Dutchman, at least until we take over Vlams into its proper place as the 13th province. I figure one more election hangup ought to do it....

Good thoughts on the military responses though....

Dennis

my bad, mis read it , some folks here keep calling me dutch even though i don't live there anymore... in fact, it's been a year... !! woohooe

and as to 13 province... hell no...

Despite your protests, we know you're longing to go back Stijn!

you're right Jim, i DO wanna go back
i'm just waiting for riots, then i can blend in with the rest

seriously, it's not like the cops will do anything there, they will first introduce themselves

"Dear sir, let my show you my ID card, i'm with the dutch police"

Then they try and council you into not being upset and rioting

"Sir, i'm going to have to ask you to stop rioting please, it's simply not permitted here"

heard the Dutch have captured several terrorists and forced them to take bong hits

true?

Absolutely untrue. We did not "capture" anybody, we merely drew them into a discussion to seek compromise. The fact that several drowned in their coffee and two sought to kill themselves rather than continue being bored by the argument should NOT BE HELD AGAINST US! They refused to participate in the discussion that was possible at that moment.

As for the bong hit, we invited them to a coffee shop where several of them tried to order coffee and ended up being stoned out of their minds after consuming the offered products.

....I just can't figure it out....

Dennis

admit it Dennis, y'all gave em magic mushrooms , hoping they would jump of some building or bridge like the tourists often do...hell, they tried it with me many times, not knowing i actually like that kinda stuff for when i cook some fancy spaghetti di fungi, special recipe