So, bone me up on my "Jury Duty" stories.

[Gogar]

Tomorrow's the day. Go sit in a big room with 500 of your best friends and wait for your number to get called.

I got a postponement 6 mos. ago, but they only let you postpone once.

I did this same thing about 5 years ago, sat in the room for 6 hours, and didn't get my number called.

I would like for that to happen again. This time I'm taking a book.

I just makes me kind of mad that "I'm an independent contractor and I'm my boss, and if I don't work, I don't eat" doesn't work anymore. It's kind of hard to get a 'temp' in my line of work, as well.

Any suggestions? I thought maybe I"d wear a t-shirt that says "Too Drunk to F**K" or something.

[DasBoot]

You can do the Charles Manson tattoo (temporary, of course):



Or, just wear a Charles Manson t-shirt...

[TerryH]

I told the judge that, as owner/operator, my business would suffer and I would not be able to concentrate on any matters before me in a court room. I was dismissed by the judge before the lawyers spoke.

[Rick Lee]

When I had jury duty, the judge would not have let anyone off if it had been their own wedding day. Man, he was a harda$s.

[968rz]

As you walk by the court security start b1tching...

"Those G0d d@mn -insert defendants race here- can't drive for ****! If I hadn't swerved that -insert racial slur- would have hit me; if I had my way they would all be eliminated- f'in cork sockers!"

That should get you noticed.

[ikarcuaso]

I'm due to report in a couple of days. Here ya go:

How To Avoid Getting on a Jury

[varmint]

once upon a time there was a guy named varmint who blew off multiple jury summons. nothing ever happened to him and he lived happily ever after.

the end.

[Jim Richards]

We have a phone-in system in DC. I had to call in every night to see if I had to report in for jury selection the next morning.

[rouxroux]

Just walk in with a battery-powered Casio and start playing "96 Tears" or "I want to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony" over & over.

[craigster59]

Just make sure the book you take is "Catcher in the Rye".

[legion]

You won't be called. You're a famous person, and having famous people on juries is usually a distraction for everyone involved in a case. If you are actually put in the jury pool for a specific case, you will be dismissed the second either lawyer finds out what you do for a living.

[charleskieffner]

take a coupla shots of tequila, down a coupla beers, bring some "CRATCH" magazines, wear a "CHARLIE DONT SURF"(manson) t-shirt, and carve the swastika in yer forehead............





YOU"LL BE OUTTA THERE SCOTT FREE IN 5 MINUTES, BANISHED FEREVER, and on yer way to a productive day.

good luck and pray to budda it aint a murder/rape trial. those can go forever.

[Pazuzu]

Or, serve on the jury if you get called.

I know, silly idea, I'm sorry...

[masraum]

Tell them that you'll believe whatever the cop says because he's a cop. You'll be out in no time flat.

[Pazuzu]

Tell them that you'll never believe whatever a cop says because he's a cop. Works just as well

[Rick Lee]

Gogar, these stunts might look funny on tv, but they ain't worth a contempt charge in real life. I can't overstate what a harda$s the judge was I had. The case was a RICO rap on an MS-13 murder, FBI was involved, rocket docket in Alexandria, etc. Half the potential jurors admitted to knowing someone in the FBI. None were dismissed because of it. Courthouse would not let jurors bring in any kind of electronic device. So no Blackberry, no texting, no nothing. Sit there and listen. When the judge called me up to chat privately with me, complete with cancelling noise playing in the speakers to wash out our conversation, I told him I worked in the media and was totally familiar with the case. No matter. I was the last guy they kicked off.

[Pazuzu]

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

Gogar, these stunts might look funny on tv, but they ain't worth a contempt charge in real life. I can't overstate what a harda$s the judge was I had. The case was a RICO rap on an MS-13 murder, FBI was involved, rocket docket in Alexandria, etc. Half the potential jurors admitted to knowing someone in the FBI. None were dismissed because of it. Courthouse would not let jurors bring in any kind of electronic device. So no Blackberry, no texting, no nothing. Sit there and listen. When the judge called me up to chat privately with me, complete with cancelling noise playing in the speakers to wash out our conversation, I told him I worked in the media and was totally familiar with the case. No matter. I was the last guy they kicked off.

Sometimes that happens, especially for bigger cases. As you know, juries must now bring down the death penalty sentence in AZ. My better half was running her medical office (only doctor in the office). She got called up for what was going to be a 3-4 week sentencing trial. Even stating that she cannot leave her office empty for that period of time (between loosing income, loosing clientel as well...no one's gonna wait when they're in pain). Nope, sign in, you're on the short list (of 300 people...)

[MRM]

Originally Posted by legion

You won't be called. You're a famous person, and having famous people on juries is usually a distraction for everyone involved in a case. If you are actually put in the jury pool for a specific case, you will be dismissed the second either lawyer finds out what you do for a living.

When I was a prosecutor my office mate had US Senator Rudy Boschwitz on one of his juries. Voted to acquit, too, the closet commie. I had Duncan McMillan Cargill III on one of my jury pools. His family is tied for 42 on the Forbes 400 list at a cool $7 billion. The judge knew his old man and tossed him before the lawyers got a chance to question him. Every once in a while you get athletes called in. They almost never get seated. As far as I know, no one in Prince's band ever got called. That's about it for local celebrities.

There's not much you can do except bring a book and try to cover yourself as best you can. What happens that day depends on the particular court you're in and the judge you get called to appear before. Most courts try to keep everyone there for at least the initial part where you go through jury selection, so they keep it fair for everyone who has to show up. But most courts now do realize the inconvenience and burden, so they try hard to keep people available by phone as much as possible. The first day will probably be lost, though, because they'll make everyone go through orientation and then sit through stuff.

Good luck. If paying taxes is patriotic, then sitting on jury duty is God's work. The country couldn't function without jurors, so I'm only half kidding.

[Noah930]

I got called for jury duty 2 weeks ago. I left totally disgusted with the American "justice" system. From an OT thread about jury duty from some time ago, I actually looked up the concepts of "informed jury" and "jury nullification." I think the spirit of the American justice system is being totally railroaded by the judges and trial attorneys of America. The concept of checks and balances has been lost, somewhat. The power of the jury has been removed/emasculated. And the concept that the jury is supposed to represent the will/consensus of the American people is being tossed aside. I don't think the judicial system, today, is run quite the way our founding fathers intended.

It's also socially inconvenient. The judge wasn't willing to excuse me for financial hardship (the only reason you can be excused right off the bat). I'm in the interesting business model where, if I'm not at work, despite having an office of employees, there's no income generated unless I'm working no matter what other people do/don't do. Admittedly, because it's not exactly extreme financial hardship for me to miss two weeks, I can understand that. I do have to say that patient care DID suffer (I'm thinking of a couple particular burn patients I was in the midst of treating) because I wasn't around for 4 days until I was dismissed. But what did that judge care--those weren't her family members.

[Gogar]

I got picked on the first round, for a 6-person civil trial. They pull 25 people out of the room for the pool.. We are taking a break before the questions from the lawyers. Story at 11.

Thanks chris, but I think you're overestimating my star power.