Teach me some languages and arithmetic!
 

:)

1. Why does the sign say, "No smoking on the bus."? Heck, I want to smoke "in" the bus, not on it. :D

2. Why "no smoking on the elevator" when I am "in the elevator."

3. Why do we say, "The alarm went off" when it actually turned "on". Heck, I always say, "Turn off the alarm" after it goes off. Huh! :)

4. Have you ever wondered that when you are on the computer, you press "page down", the screen/page actually scrolls up! :)




For the Spanish speaking people, I was told "esta" implies 'temporary'. Why do you say "El pero esta muerto (the dog is dead)." Heck, the dog "is" dead.


Grrrr!!! I am all confused.

George Carlin: "Stewardess says "Get on the plane". F YOU...I'm getting in the plane!"

I am arithmetic impaired:

3 guys went to the bar agreeing to pay the tab equally.
The bill was exactly $30.00

$30 divided by 3 is $10.00 per person
The waitress collected $10 from Person A, $10 from Person B, $10 from Person C.
Waitress went to the cashier. Cashier said "Hey those guys received $5.00 discount."
Waitress realized she could not split $5.00 three ways equally so she pocketed $2.00.
She returned $1 to Person A, $1 to Person B, and $1 to Person C.

Person A initially paid $10.00; received $1.00 back; so Person A actually paid $9.00
Person B also actually paid $9.00
Person C is also $9.00

$9.00 times 3 = $27.00
$27.00 plus $2.00 the waitress pocketed = $29.00

Where in the heck is the missing $1.00? :)

I wish I knew what you were smoking:eek:????

Yeah, the new brand I smoke makes me want to take ESL and SSL. :D

fo' shizzle my wizzle, thats whack!

They indeed did end up paying the waitress $27. (The actual cost of the meal - $25, plus the extra $2 that she kept. The remaining $3 ($30-27) was split evenly among them).

The math is correct, your word problem is not:

10*3 = $30 original price of the tab

The guys paid $27
The tab cost $25
The waitress kept $2.
25+2 = 27 should be the real equation should be 27-2 = $25

So, there is not missing dollar. The additional sentence included at the end of the problem is incorrect. You would not add $2.00 to the $27.00 because it is already included. The amount the men spent, $25.00 for the bar tab plus the "stolen" $2.00 tip equals $27.00. It should be $27.00 spent plus $3.00 change equals $30.00.

I don't believe your logic since you are a plumber!!!! :) Why...........


Lawyer wakes up and found a leaking fawcett. Calls plumber, plumber came, worked on the leak for an hour and hands the lawyer a bill for $700.00. Lawyer said, "$700.00 bucks!!!! Are you crazy! I am a lawyer and I don't even make that much money per hour!"

The plumber said, "I know you don't. I used to be a lawyer." :)

ask Obama...prolly went to his campaign

The reason we say "no smoking on the bus" instead of "in the bus" is all etymology.... People used to ride ON carriages and ON horses, on wagons... etc.. We have since started riding IN cars.. but people still use on for passenger transportation.

I have a professor who is a etymologist... studies the histories and origins of words. He is fluent in Russian, French, German, English, some Spanish.. etc etc etc. He will be talking and just stop, and break into a 5 minute trail off about where the word "thank" came from... or something entirely stranger.

A lot of the english language is West Germanic in orgin, brought to England by the Saxons and also latin elements from the romans who travelled north. Which ultimately is where most of the saxons mangled their language from. From there German became German and English became English, vowel sounds changed along with spellings...

and for all sorts of f-ed up reasons eventually leads to people saying that you cannot smoke on a bus.

I use this one on quite a few clients when they question the invoice:

TV repairman (remember those?) shows up, looks at the clients TV for a few minutes then whacks it on the side with his hand. TV comes to life! Repairman hands the homeowner a bill for $100.

"$100?!? All you did was whack the side of the TV!" "Oh" said the repairman. I only charged you $1 for that." "Then what's the additional $99 for?" asked the homeowner.

"That's for knowing where to whack the TV"... :)

Wow! Etymology is something new here. This makes sense. After 40-some years, I now know. I thank you and your prof.

Now, next time you see him, ask him about the "alarm going off" for me.

Sorry guys, I just finished reading 500-pages worth of computer-documentation written in British/Canadian format (e.g., organisation vs. organization, labour vs labor, the "s" instead of the "z", the "ou" instead of the "o"). Grrr!

Was the plumber's name Joe?

Tough one, even for a native speaker.

We have in Spanish two different verbs that mean "To be": "Ser" and "Estar". "Ser" implies non changing characteristics while "Estar" implies changing or modifiable characteristics. For example:

- Yo soy rubio = I am blond (uses "ser" since it does not change)
- Yo estoy dormido = I am asleep (uses "estar" since I will change my state to awake)

The dog was alive and now is dead, hence the use of "estar".

You are ("estar") tall, handsome, bald, nice, a moron, etc. but you are ("ser") asleep, reading, happy, ****ed, etc.

Disclaimer: I am not a linguist nor play one on TV, so take this with a grain of salt SmileWavy

Problem and post edited, because the the answer is rather beyond "arithmetic" and I'd probably just look like a dick for posting it, even though on the face of the problem it is not difficult. (The solution is difficult, though.)

Regarding the use of "esta" (accent on the a), it is because the condition, dead or alive, of the dog changes, or rather, changed. "El perro es muerto" would indicate the dog was always dead and NEVER lived, hence a static state, whereas "El perro esta (con accento) muerto" indicates (as Paco mentions) that the dog was once alive and is now dead --a dynamic state.