Wow Some Great Advise !!!!!!! Rules to live By! you will not find better rules than from a bunch of old guys.

I though about getting married at 20 or so for maybe an hour.
I did not get married until 30, I was still to young in retrospect. I have been able to stay married since. Not a decision to be taken lightly.

Thanks, Jeremy. And yes I do realize that I dont have the whole been there done that experience. Also IF we do get married at 20 it will just be that. No kids until both of us are done with school. We have both said that since before we met. I would like to be fairly financially stable before kids. I am most definitely smart enough to wrap it first trust me.

I know Jeremy and ..yes he is wise beyond his years. Solid advice from a solid stand up guy.

Sherman, set the wayback machine to 1952............

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...ackmachine.jpg

I have to say that I feel rather foolish for my earlier flippant advise. It was advise intended for someone a bit older than 17. I'm sorry about that. I feel like I should have my mouth washed out with soap.

It's not that at 17 you can't be a great guy - I suspect you are. I honestly thought you were older (early to mid 20's) by your posts.

Some things in life can wait for a while especially things that involve other people. Most especially things that involve other people AND that can change your life forever.

I also think that most people should not marry a day before 25. I know some people do so successfully and I'll be the first to hoist a glass in their honor. But most people change so much from 18 to 25 that the person you fall for early is completely different just five years later. Usually not different in a good way either. Someone you may have passed on earlier turns out to be a real catch a few years later.

For you? She wants to chill? Then chill for a while. The wait and respect thing might offer a good perspective. It will certainly save a disasterous mistake. You can always undo not having sex...but it doesn't work the other way around.

A year down the road, could be a whole 'nother ball-game. You could be together and abstinant, together and consensual or with different people entirely. Whatever you do, think it thru first. I suspect you would do that anyway. ;)

angela

Thanks, Angela it is nice to be mistaken for older than i actually am. Like I have told another member that I spoke privately with on this matter I really only posted the poll and question just as an outloud thought. Never really meant to delve so deeply into my personal life but its not that big a deal. Don't worry when the time comes we will think this through carefully and make a smart non-influenced decision.

Well porsche4life I said what I did on the flip but I think what Angela said is right on the money. If you have ever been around a baby during the first 2 years - you know what I am talking about. It's one reason that they measure age in months. so much happens from one to the next. Well in retrospect, they should do the same for your 17 to 25 years. So much can happen during that time that defines what you will be for the rest of your life. Picking a partner is a crap shoot at best. Picking a partner at 17 to 25 is like playing a lottery. Who you are at 17 (and who your partner is during that time too) is not who you will be at 25. I'll put money on it.

Betting that you will be compatible (and have the same ambitions, values, etc) at 25 (as you are at 17) is why most early marriages fail.

Picking a partner at 17 to 25 is like Russian Roulette

Fixed it for ya. Using the word "lottery" implies a potential positive outcome.

I've only read enough of this to be dangerous but I'll say this. I married the first woman I had sex with. We never had good sex or chemistry but stayed married for way too long. We were and still are good friends and great parents together. I didn't know the difference. We had two great kids and a good life in some respects but divorced two years ago. My world has changed in good ways. I'll never be a "player" and casual "notch on the bedpost" relationships are not for me. But, I've experienced more intimacy in the last two years than the previous 20+. Most of it in two longer term relationships with fantastic women. The one I'm with now I'm marrying, don't want to ever be without her.

My advice to my 16 YO, only "be" with someone you care about, treat her with respect, take lot's of precautions, don't get anyone pregnant or get an STD but have fun, explore, experience love, lust, whatever. Don't get married until you're grown up which is after 25, closer to 30. Until then you don't know who you are or who you could be.

I abstained from changing the diapers.

Hers? Dude..........:p

True - and Tom don't you usually bang them first, then decide if you want to date em or not?

Having sex before marriage is not optional - its an absolute necessity!

One of the most important parts of the glue holding a relationship together is sex. Bad sex=big problems. You do not want to find out when its too late.

OK, I am exaggerating.

But not much!

i am not saying i abstained, but i did wait until i was at least in college. having sex at 17 would probably have been a major disaster for me. at least be smart about it.

Abstaining after marriage...... ;)

j/k....

but it certainly was more before....

god i hope my wife doesn't read this!!!


In case.....

I LOVE YOU HONEY!

LOL, tk!

"You´re on thin ice, Larry!"

Marriage
 

YES i have abstained from marriage......... but now that i am in 41.... found a super cool skirt and tying the knot is in the near future for me.....

soooooo yes i think it is really really REALLY important to abstain from marriage till your a bit older.

you are so young, that you dont know, what you dont know.......

at 41, i now know,......... that i dont know ****.

Yea there will be plenty of time for abstaining after your married !!!!!