How to make a direct charity "contribution"

Tim Walsh · Tim Walsh's Garage

My wife and I are thinking of buying a thanksgiving dinner for one of the families of the kids she teaches. They've been going through a really rough period financially due to various medical circumstances(2 are deaf, one has many many more problems than just loss of hearing), so we feel this is something we aught to do since they wouldn't have a turkey day otherwise. We're thinking of just leaving everything in a cooler on their doorstep tomorrow(the day they get back from surgery on the other side of the state). Anyone ever done something like this before?

legion · 11-24-2008, 09:14 AM

My next-door neighbor died last week. He was 84. His widow is also 84.

I clear their driveways and sidewalks whenever it snows. I don't see a need for someone in their mid-80's to risk injury shoveling. I just do it. I couldn't live with myself if either of them (well, just her now) get injured.

I was going to rake their leaves on Sunday, but I came home from the range on Saturday to find that their leaves had been done: a local boy scout troop had come and cleared their lawn. (The recently-deceased husband was VERY involved in scouts.)

I'm thinking now that the husband is gone, we should take her out to dinner once a month. Two of her kids live here in town, but they can't be there all the time.

Be mindful of pride. I think your idea is best. Coming over in person to give the meal might embarass them and make them feel they need to refuse--even if they could really use it.

Tim Walsh · Tim Walsh's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by legion

Be mindful of pride. I think your idea is best. Coming over in person to give the meal might embarass them and make them feel they need to refuse--even if they could really use it.

Exactly, hence my question, I think I'd rather have them not know who it was, just that someone was thinking of them.

mike55 · 11-24-2008, 09:24 AM

...I agree. Leave it on the doorstep with a simple note wishing them a Happy Thanksgiving. You know you did it and that should be reward enough.

Dottore · 11-24-2008, 09:29 AM

I don't know.

Part of caring for/about people in need, or people who are bereaved, is actually communicating with them, letting them know you care, and letting them know there is someone they can turn to.

I would always present the turkey (or whatever) personally and in this context. You are reaching out to someone. Not just leaving food anonymously on their doorstep.

Rot 911 · 11-24-2008, 10:05 AM

I agree with presenting in person. If you just leave it you never know what might happen. What if they are late getting home?

If you present it in the spirit of good will and in good humor it will be accepted in the same spirit.

sammyg2 · 11-24-2008, 10:07 AM

We have 4 turkeys on ice that I'm going to be cooking for other folks, but I'm doing it through my church.
I do it for selfish reasons though, it makes me feel really good.

The first time was about 4 years ago. We were up at 4 am cooking, and by the time it was all over and we got back home it was nearly 5 pm.
My daughter asked, "where's our turkey?"

Oops. Forgot about that. We went out to eat.

If you want to leave food anonymously make sure you leave some sort of note explaining it and giving some sort of hint as to where it came. No names necessary but they have to know at least a little.
Many of the people I've come in contact doing this sort of thing with are very proud and it's hard for them to accept help. If not handled correctly a simple gift of charity can hurt more than it helps.
Could you imagine taking food when you had absolutely no idea where it came from? I can almost see them wondering if every person they met was the one who gave them food. That would be very embarrasing.

Dottore · 11-24-2008, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammyg2

I do it for selfish reasons though, it makes me feel really good.

Nietzsche pointed out long ago that altruism is really "egoism is disguise."

sammyg2 · 11-24-2008, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dottore

Nietzsche pointed out long ago that altruism is really "egoism is disguise."

Absolutely. I try to be a nice guy once in a while because it makes it easier to deal with myself when I'm not.

Icemaster · Icemaster's Garage

We put a meal together for a family one time, had a catering company we use put it together and deliver it to the house. They were a little confused and it took a minute or two before they convinced them that it was legit and paid for - though the company was sworn to secrecy as to who footed the bill.