Just a counterpoint...

So the first bits I read are that you guys 'assumed' and forgot to tell her about this. Then planned a suprise party at the same time as the tickets she bought for Mom's birthday. Could her perspective be that you guys are unreasonable to ask her to cover for your mistake?

Now I agree that even if YOU were wrong she should take one for the team so everyone could attend....

Mind you this does not take history into account and this is a limited microcosm, but I got this out of what I read.

lucky here..
Sis was my 'best man'...
she's awesome...
a true friend..

Rika

Yup. I have one of those. My oldest sister milked my parents for $400k about 12 years ago. Now my parents are having money problems but she refuses to help. Whenever my siblings (I'm the youngest of 4) tells her she needs to help she finds any excuse she can to shirk responsibility. She's a deceitful, manipulative, criminal minded b#tch that I frankly can't stand to be around and only tolerate her presence. So now I'm stuck carrying all of their debt so they don't lose their house. Oh and my mom is also an enabler. Maybe it's a mom thing?

No, we told her almost immediately. She bought the tickets in advance. My wife arranged to have someone else use the tickets. All of this took place in a matter of a few hours.

The issue is this: How many Ballet's are there vs. how many times does your Mother turn 75 and your father turn 80?

Again, this was 5 years ago, and I came across the thread and thought I'd update it with my sister's new antics about her 50th birthday and insane plans.

My wife's family generally has no drama, with the exception of one sibling's wife, and that is minor. That is, until this past year.

I, too, have the horrible sister. I have a total of 3 sisters and 3 brothers, most of whom are decent people, but they all have their issues, of course. One sister is a constant source of drama, gossip, lies, etc. It's gotten to the point that I simply refuse to talk to her; haven't spoken a word to her in at least 5 years now, and I'm loving it. Worst part is she's got 4 kids, all of whom are now adults, and almost all are following in her footsteps--doing nothing with their lives. Worst thing (in my opinion) I ever heard her say: Family dinner many years ago. Her youngest daughter was around 12 and she announced that she'd like to be a doctor when she grew up. I start giving her the "good for you; work hard" when my sister busts in with "OH, you'll never be a doctor, you might as well forget about that now." And her kid was smart; with a little encouragement, she really could do great things. How can anyone be OK with completely stifling their child like that? I was so pissed off...

And then there's the ex-wife...both her AND her sister think the world revolves around them, thanks to the enabling of their father. Poor guy works his ass off and his own business that he does fairly well with. But he has absolutely zero savings because not only does he take care of him and his wife, but he also completely supports my ex's younger sister (pays for her house, cars, paid for her education that she doesn't use, and all her other bills) and now he's also paying my ex to "work" for him (she forwards an email here and there for him from her home laptop) and her salary is $36k plus she's always borrowing from him. This guy's pushing 70, and not the healthiest in the world, and they're running him into the grave. This bothers me because he's really a great guy; I loved him. Just sucks he didn't do a better job raising his kids into productive adults.

Boy do I appreciate the relationship my sister and I have after reading this.

I've often been accused of being completely lazy when it comes to family gatherings (which I am, but in other ways).

She says "why don't you make your plans now?" Nope. No way.
Just wait and you'll see what I mean.
Waiting...
Waiting...
Sure enough, at the very last minute, topics in the chatter turns into the battle of britain contrails. Lions at a fresh kill.

Major planning, set in stone months before, is instantly nullified. Now everyone now has to change their plans because of something new. Family who've traveled hours to visit are left out of the loop and pushed aside.

The term "logic" has no place in this discussion.

I always feel sorry for people not lucky enough to have a completely cohesive family.

James, it sounds like your older sister and you have a good relationship. Cherish that. Your middle sister sounds like she tries to be different to stand out and get attention. She sounds radically different from you and your older sister. The best thing you can do is acknowledge her shortcomings in your eyes and try to see things from her point of view to understand her and her motivations better.

As for her 50th, celebrate it like a family would, not like a group of college buddies would. If some in your family want to go along with rafting, let them do it. Make plans with your sisters for some kind of gathering to celebrate in a more low key way that everyone can participate in and be comfortable. Sounds like all will have to compromise to get there.

I don't know you or your sisters so I can only go on what you post. I hope you eventually get to the point that you have a good relationship with all in your family. :)

If it hasn't happened in the past 50 years, why would it in the next? SmileWavy

...and I'm sure it had a lot of history behind it too. These things don't happen overnight right? Every family has one of them, mine included.

Hopefully you'll get an opportunity to pull her aside and encourage her that she can be whatever she sets her mind too. that would get my blood boiling. I don't normally suggest getting involved between parents and kids, but hory scheet!

...the worst bit is guys like him think they are doing the others a good turn, when in reality they are just enabling them to be totally dependant...

Mongo no have seesters.....:eek:

I didn't read all of the above. Is this a cat fight?

I just read some of the above. Such sensative folks.

Somehow came across this old thread...

Update: My sister continues to be a narcissistic enabler...

Last Christmas, she was out Houston way with her son. He is a weird kid. I mean really weird. And she is the massive enabler of all his bad behavior.

Dinner at my house including my elderly parents. He wants to go play with his phone or tablet or whatever. He starts to slide down his chair, ever so slowly, under the table and then crawls/tries to crawl away. He is 12. Not 3 or 4, but 12 and doing wacky stuff like this. I nicely asked him to stay until we all finished dinner. My sister scolded me, pretty much told me to mind my own business and just be "The Fun Uncle".

A few months before, they visited my older sister. Whatever they were having for dinner the kid was not going to eat. So my oldest sister's husband made him a homemade pizza. He said, verbatim, "I'm not going to eat that. It's poison." - If only.....

Last week, she calls me up with a "Math Problem" as she is trying to teach her kid basically long division (have I mentioned he's 12 and a freaking genius?"). It is "percentages", and she can't figure out how she dropped the decimal. After telling me I'm teaching it wrong and using "engineering tricks", I pretty much had it, and told her so. "Don't you want to help your nephew? I THOUGHT you'd be interested in his schooling."

Really? Not really.

She turns 57 next month. Kid turns 13 in July. Only 5 more years to adulthood...I'll update the thread again, then....

Almost makes me glad I was an only child..

For your sister?

I got stories. You ain't got nothing on me.

Looking forward to the update. :D

Sorry RB that sux, especially for the kid. Makes me even more appreciative of how well my kids are doing with theirs.

Mebbe we could set up "musical sisters"....when the music stops....that's the sis yer stuck with until the next song plays?

Sorry James...but thems the breaks man....I know.