The difference between Explanation and Acceptance.
 

How come some people, in my experience mostly women, have such difficulties discriminating between an issue being explained as opposed to being accepted? The subject has come to mind reading some of the threads here too. Particularly political/religious.

Example:

A: - "So you think its a good thing that women are being oppressed and sexually abused all over the world!!??? You male chauvinist prickkk, I hate you!!!!"

B:- "No, dear! For heavens sake! I do not! I am just trying to explain what I think the reasons are. I am not accepting it!!"

---

A: - "So you liberal twart think its alright for those crazy idiots to commit terrorist actions because of this and that??!!"

B: - "No, I do not. I am simple trying to find plausible explanations. I do not accept or condone it in any way."


Maybe crude examples but I hope you understand what I mean. Some people seem to need your spelled out agreement. If you don´t and try to dig deeper into the issue, finding interesting topics for the debate, they interpret that as disagreement. As I mentioned, I have had that debate-killing experience up to my neck with many women, but its looming around here too occasionally.

I think many people see the world in black and white and are emotionally attached to those beliefs. Couple these together and feelings get hurt and they lash out when someone tries to "explain" that sometimes there are shades of gray...

IMHO.

Markus, even though a lot of women are like this, your examples (the "A's") read a lot like what some of the guys say on PPOT in the more volitile threads. Anytime someone starts a sentence "So you....," I want to reach through the screen and b!tchslap them. They sound like pissy women.

I think people tend to view things from one of two perspectives: either an emotional viewpoint "I feel" or a logical one "cause and effect, controlled experiment, scientific method".

Often the clash is over the point of view as much as the subject matter. "How can you not feel for......." VS "Can you not see the relation between.........."

Left brain / right brain what are you going to do.........

brain surgery? :)

So you.......:D

SmileWavy

He, he. I thought of that too. Here I am, the durn furner, with semantic complaints in the English language on an American forum.

Better not start with "So you.." in the future. :D

For some people, life is complex. For others, it is exceedingly simple. Take terrorism for example. Some folks wonder what causes it. Others don't.

I wonder what's for lunch.

I experience the same reaction often when I am discussing volatile issues with people. Its like if I say "I think A happens because of B", it doesn't mean that I have justified or condoned it. But some people can't separate it. I find it funny that sometimes people will respond with an opinion, and I will agree with them. Then they are like "But you just said" and I have to explain that I said A happens because of B, not that I am glad about it.

Definitely a frustrating phenomenon at times. I just avoid people more now. :D

I yam what I yam.

I'm popeye the sailor man.

Hope that clears things up!

Ham. You're welcome.

One word Livi..... "Troals"

I don't experience a lot of people confusing my explanations for acceptance. Maybe it's because I'm in a very technical environment and we are used to explaining things we don't like. My wife certainly never accuses me of that.

What I do experience is people confusing tolerance for acceptance, sometimes intentionally.

I like that.

A lot of people are looking to get worked up over some issues. People need more hobbies and less causes to be involved in. I understand when someone gets bent because an issue has recently had an impact on their life and it's just their knee jerk reaction but I hate when people are just waiting for the opportunity to get offended.

Some people know what causes terrorism, the question is, what to do about it.

A lot of people are just looking for an argument, quite a few spring to mind.

Markus, you need to wait until after you get some to start talking about stuff that is going to set the young lady off. By now, you should have an idea of the potential triggers.

Oh, we had worked out a strategy. She started bit**ing and after an hour or so I slapped her a couple of times. After that she was all over me. :D