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-   -   How do you measure up? (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/447103-how-do-you-measure-up.html)

slodave 12-18-2008 04:57 PM

How do you measure up?
 
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1229651974.jpg

Quote:

Condometric is the first prophylactic that measures and shows off the penis’ length. Condometric helps us flaunt what we’ve got. It’s about believing we can handle whatever we wish to take on, regardless of size.
:cool:

charleskieffner 12-18-2008 04:59 PM

wonders of science! cant remember the last time i used juan...............well except for our gun barrels hunting!

slodave 12-18-2008 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charleskieffner (Post 4368317)
...........well except for our gun barrels hunting!

Now you can know just how big your barrel is!

kstar 12-18-2008 05:05 PM

The use of metric "inches" is certainly a smart marketing angle.

masraum 12-18-2008 05:12 PM

But it only goes to 10!!

varmint 12-18-2008 05:14 PM

what's a "condom"?

slodave 12-18-2008 05:17 PM

Here's what the satisfied customers have to say:

http://www.curiosite.com/condometric/entestimonios.html

Quote:

The length of my schlong happens to coincide my favorite number (24) which is also the day of my birthday. It may seem silly, but I believe in destiny.
Wilson Ortega, 24 (Madrid)

My husband and I now have a new game: foreplay goes on until Condometric hits the 18 mark. Our sex life has improved.
Josefa Rodríguez-Valdés, 41 (Madrid)

Condometric has helped me learn to accept my modest proportions. I used to be shy, but now I’m a lot more daring, I’ve become a sexual daredevil.
Pierre de Homem-Cristo, 46 (Madrid)

Only 25 centimeters? Oh well! Guess I can’t get it for my Senegalese boyfriend. When will Condometric XXL go on the market?
Aurora Molín, 29 (Bilbao)
Um, OK...
Quote:

I don’t understand how this works. Are you supposed to measure the penis with or without an erection? Which is size counts? Can you please explain this to me?
Julio García Sanz, 45 (Madrid)

(In response to Julio García Sanz) Excuse me for being so blunt, but…Are you stupid? What do you think? Why would you measure your penis unless it’s erect?I think Condometric's instructions are quite clear on this point.
Andrés Siesta, 21 (Valencia)

sammyg2 12-18-2008 05:26 PM

I heard they are putting serial numbers on condoms now. Have you guys seen that?

UconnTim97 12-18-2008 05:29 PM

I sure have...

Gogar 12-18-2008 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammyg2 (Post 4368365)
I heard they are putting serial numbers on condoms now. Have you guys seen that?

Yep. Buckle up for the "unexpected pregnancy" lawsuit insanity.

M.D. Holloway 12-18-2008 07:20 PM

when you put it in a 'certain' place, its always too big...

slodave 12-18-2008 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77 (Post 4368528)
when you put it in a 'certain' place, its always too big...

Keep it out of her nose and ears. :D

sammyg2 12-18-2008 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammyg2 (Post 4368365)
I heard they are putting serial numbers on condoms now. Have you guys seen that?

No one's gonna set it up? OK, I'll do it myself.

So some unsuspecting pelican says, "why no. I haven't seen serial numbers on condoms. "
Then the peanut gallery says, "well maybe you aren't rolling them back far enough".

This is a tough crowd.

Gogar 12-18-2008 08:18 PM

Ha, Ha! Mine just said "WENDY."

sammyg2 12-18-2008 08:21 PM

A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis, her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y. Shortly after the couple was married and they were honeymooning in Jamaica, the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis.

The American said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?"

The Jamaican replied, "No, Mon that says, 'Welcome To Jamaica Have a Nice Day'".

Heel n Toe 12-18-2008 09:21 PM

Down there just past the 25 cm mark, they should put a little picture of Buzz Lightyear.

JavaBrewer 12-18-2008 09:27 PM

Man that condom is huge...

kstar 12-18-2008 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slodave (Post 4368577)
Keep it out of her nose and ears. :D

What's wrong with aural sex?

Sonic dB 12-18-2008 09:52 PM

i dont get it... wouldnt a tape measure of a yard stick accomplish the same thing?

billybek 12-19-2008 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kstar (Post 4368698)
What's wrong with aural sex?

Eargasm?


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