Pelican Parts Forums - Dog Diaries Compared to Cat Diaries

Got this in an email from a friend. I think it sums it up pretty good.

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. *sigh*

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort
of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates
what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about
what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
solitary confinement for the duration of the event... However, I could hear the
noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power
of 'allergies..' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my
advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors
by weaving a round his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow
-- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog
receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more
than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an
informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain
that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for
him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...