Sibling fight

[Hendog]

Siblings A, me and C.

A and me live geographically close to each other, C lives half way across the country. Sibling A is rich, sibling C lives under the poverty line whilst living near to and assisting the parents. A invites C to visit and agrees to pay the airfare. C is thrilled and books three weeks, two with A then one with me.

Three weeks prior to the visit, A declares a wedding has come up and will be attending. A then asks me for a change of schedule to accommodate: a week at A, then a week with me then a week back with A. I acquiesce; however I ask the obvious question “didn’t you know about this when C booked this with you?” Well things spiraled downward from there between A and me in a war of words.

What thinks ye?

[vash]

boy, are you my long lost brother or what.??

while your question was obvious, there was no real sense in asking it. either answer wouldnt have changed the situation at hand. wait just a second....while i get my wife's logic out of my head....eggggrrrhhh.a.dfaldh....POP!

ok, better. what the ***** was "A" thinking...? i hate getting caught up in somebody else's bad planning. i would have reacted EXACTLY like you just did, and my sister would have imploded just as "A" did.

[craigster59]

Don't piss off the rich one.

[futuresoptions]

You forgot Y, CYA......

[Noah930]

Fair question. You're siblings. You're entirely within social acceptability to ask this type of question of a sibling, without any flak from said sibling. If your sibling can't handle being asked this question, he/she shouldn't have made the bonehead maneuver in the first place. It's not as big a deal as he/she is making it out to be (unless you're the one who's making it a big deal). I suppose it depends on how you asked the question.

[911Rob]

A has some kind of chip on their shoulder.

Focus on your own happiness, you can't do anything about theirs.

[on2wheels52]

I think there's more to the story. Can you get A and C to post?
Jim

[phoenix_iii]

Previous post is correct. A should not have blown up. You also didn't need to point out that they should have checked their schedule first. Or possibly, it was a 'last minute' invite to the wedding ?

Just remind A that you love him/her very much, and apologize for the sillyness (if you guys even know what you're fighting about at this point). Just state that you look forward to seeing C, and it was nice of them to pay for the airfare, and you look forward to being A, Me, and C together again for a nice meal or outing. Life is too short for silly games.

[targa911S]

Originally Posted by craigster59

Don't piss off the rich one.

There ya go.

[Hendog]

Originally Posted by phoenix_iii

Previous post is correct. A should not have blown up. You also didn't need to point out that they should have checked their schedule first. Or possibly, it was a 'last minute' invite to the wedding ?

If it was a last minute invite then do you agree with A going while already having accepted to host C?

[Dottore]

Originally Posted by 911Rob

Focus on your own happiness, you can't do anything about theirs.

Do you moonlight for Hallmark?

[Hendog]

Originally Posted by on2wheels52

I think there's more to the story. Can you get A and C to post?
Jim

No, I can't get them to post. For those who would like the whole story, it was done mostly by email. A started out by contacting my brother, who also lives nearby. This introduces a new character I'll name D. He's immaterial to this, which is why I initially left him out of the story.

I cleaned up the email since my sister (A), indents with >> all her replies and I removed date stamps etc. The text is all there except the names were changed "to protect the innocent" haha. You have to read it from the bottom up as per email trail.

Subject: RE: C’s visit
YVR domestic departues. Call me when you drop him off, I'll come and get
him from there. Always happy to make accommodations for your schedule
A!!!! I appreciate your consideration to my convenience; it's
humbling. No need to thank me; I'm here for you.

Sincerely.
Henri


Subject: RE: C’s visit
Thats great Henri, I'll need you YVR address....will give you a better ETA
once we're on the ferry!!! No need to come all the way to Victoria(Swartz
Bay) as that would be a HUGE inconvenience for you!!!! Many Thanks,
A



Subject: RE: C’s visit

>> I'll be working on the 4th. If you can drop him off at YVR along your
way that would be great.

>> and anytime after that I can pick C up at Swartz Bay.

Let's stick with this.
Henri


Subject: RE: C’s visit

Henri, It sounds as if this is disrupting your plans....no worries, as I can make other arrangements for C while we're away. I had understood that he wanted to visit with you while he was here....hence, my call to D and you. Had no idea you had made other plans. My apologies. When would you like to have C visit you? I can can bring him over anytime you like!!

A


Subject: RE: C’s visit
Yes, we can host C while you're away since we had planned to host him anyway during his third week of travel. I have to wonder however: did you not know about this wedding when C worked out his travel arrangements with you after you invited him? No need to answer, but the question is obvious...
I'll be working on the 4th. If you can drop him off at YVR along your way that would be great. Initially I thought you were driving to Jasper...

Henri



Subject: RE: C’S visit
Hey Henri!!! Happy New Year....I'll hope it rains lots for you...although not sure the rest of us feel the same way!!!! C arrives here on the 28th of Jan.... it would be possible for me to take the ferry with him on the 4th of Feb....we'd be driving on, and then I have an appt downtown Van around noon or 1PM(I can confirm that later) that day. Ralph and I get back on the 10th, and anytime after that I can pick C up at Swartz Bay. I know that his schedule is to fly out of Vancouver on the 18th of Feb. I'm not sure if he's going home to Winnipeg at that point or just to Edmonton...regardless, it's no problem for me to get him to Vancouver to catch his flight. Is this a do-able thing for you to host him while we're away? Let me know what you think.
Many thanks,

A


Subject: RE: C’s visit
Well, my shoulders are a little sore from all the snow shoveling I've been doing. The snow was actually quite nice when it was cold and fluffy and bright. Our two black labs looked like seals breaking water as they bounded through the deep snow in the park. Now I say "let it rain". Our schedule is fairly flexible. Let me know when you want to drop C off and pick him up. I want to take some time off from work while he's staying over.

Henri



Subject: Re: C’s visit
Hi A,
I'm sure we can work anything out that needs to in order to accomodate. Hen had invited C over to his place, so I'm not sure what those dates were as it was between them, although I was planning to visit a bit with C as well. I'm copying Hen on this email so he can chime in. I'm going out of town for the week of Feb 9th, so I won't be around at that point though, but I'm sure Hen can accomodate.



Subject: C’s visit
Hey D!!!! Hope y'all are not too wet and cold what with all the snow and rain!!!!! Oh well, this too shall pass.
I just wanted to check with you as to when C is scheduled to visit
with you when he comes out?? the reason I ask is we have a wedding to go to
in Jasper early Feb. and I really don't want to leave C home
alone...we'll be gone Feb.5-10...is there some way we can co-ordinate a trip to Van. for C while we're gone?

A

[Shawn 357]

Sounds like it has been blown out of proportion (maybe you guys have had some issues in the past...).

I read the email string and it sounds to me like maybe you are a little out of line but not enough to justify a huge argument. When you asked about the wedding plans you did that not even really wanting an answer but instead to point out that A inconvenienced you (from my perspective). If anything it sounds to me like A was being sincere in the last couple emails and that you were the one making a big deal over the schedule change and then backing it up by baiting A with Sarcasm? Maybe I missed something in the email string but other than A being a little inconsiderate with the scheduling I can't see where A was out of line.

Hopefully you guys work it out and get to enjoy C's trip instead of C spending three weeks hearing two sibbling ***** to him about how how they were wronged.

Good Luck,
Shawn

[jorian]

How about a duel? Or old school Mano-a-Mano.

[Porsche_monkey]

I have a lot experience in this. A lot. Here is exactly what you need to do.

1. Roll your eyes
2. Tell your sibling 'see you when you get here'
3. Forget about it
4. Move on

[Hendog]

Originally Posted by jorian

How about a duel? Or old school Mano-a-Mano.

She's my sister, so Mano-a-Sisso perhaps. I think a duel could work. I'm in.

[DanielDudley]

Yes, this will obviously be very important after you are dead.