bye bye - military medals

creaturecat · 02-06-2009, 10:12 AM

My father passed away.........he, as the eldest son, was given his father's military medals.
His father volunteered, and served, in the trenches. In BOTH world wars.
My father volunteered (WW2), reaching the ranks of lieutenant, his father actually had to salute him.
As the eldest son, of the eldest son- I was to receive the medals.
My father's sister (my aunt), has decided that tradition will be ignored, As I am an ADOPTED child. Therefore the medals go to the other(youngest) brother's son, he is not adopted.
Anyways, here are a couple of pics, including the medal for bravery in the field, my way of saying goodbye, I guess.

Seric · 02-06-2009, 10:15 AM

My condolences on your father, first of all. And a big "boo" to your Aunt for that slap in the face. Adopted or not you are a part of the family and just as much a son to your father. Yes?

I feel for ya.

futuresoptions · 02-06-2009, 10:21 AM

Just got my dad's medals from the VA, it's free, go to the VA website and check into it... it takes them about 4-6months to research and then next thing you know, you got a package waiting at the door. True story..... I was in desert storm, never received a medal came home,(was in reserves at the time), 17yrs later, I request my medals, a low and behold I get 6 or 7 of them in the mail..... The package had been opened and I guess a couple fell out, but I got most of them... But seriously, if you want to do a shadow box or something in memory of your father, check with the VA...

creaturecat · 02-06-2009, 10:22 AM

Almost forgot....... She has allowed me to keep the box, which held the Military medal, Christmas 1914. Pretty hard for her to repossess, since she gave it to me for my 21st birthday, in 1975.

vash · vash's Garage

one favorite quote by some forgotten celeb. maybe some country singer.

he was asked, which three of his six kids are adopted.

he answered, "i dont know, i forget".

my condolences, creature. you auntie disrespected her brother. but let it go..

Moses · 02-06-2009, 10:38 AM

Sorry about your dad.

The rest of your story pisses me off beyond measure.

aigel · aigel's Garage

My condolences. I take it there was no will left behind / nothing spelled out?

I do not understand why items like this are not passed on by old folks before passing away. Money or real estate can not be passed on early, as you don't know how much you still need of it, but stuff like this can. I definitely will pass sentimental stuff on while I can still see the offspring's eyes light up and give them a big hug. This is the tradition in our family. It also assures that the items are ending up with whom you pick for it.

George

LWJ · 02-06-2009, 10:54 AM

So there I was holding my 3 month old daughter up in the mirror and admiring her like any proud father would. I looked at her. Looked at myself. I said something about how she really didn't resemble me very much. Then it occurred to me that there is no reason why she should look like me as she is adopted.

Sorry about your Dad. Agree with Moses that it pisses me off as well.

ramonesfreak · ramonesfreak's Garage

sorry about your father. you aunt is the devil. if the other son is any kind of man, he will turn them over to you

creaturecat · 02-06-2009, 11:02 AM

Firstly, thank you for the kind condolences.

She forgot about the stamp collection, willed to my dad, by his brother.
Probably 20,000 stamps, significant stamps :

The Gaijin · 02-06-2009, 11:06 AM

Sorry about your Dad. You appreciate your father's and grandfather's service. That is the important thing. Hopefully your cousin cares for them. If he has no kids and you do, you will have to appeal to him in the future.

flatbutt · 02-06-2009, 11:20 AM

Condolences on the passing of your father. Perhaps you could keep the uniform ribbons?

MattKellett · MattKellett's Garage

Were the medals in your aunt's possession?

Surely, as she is not your father's immediate family, how does she decide your father's estate?, unless she is the executor of your father's will.

Maybe you are friendly with your cousin and it's not an issue, but it does seems strange that she is giving something away, that legally I don't think she has a right to do.

At the end of the day, even though it has sentimental value to you, it is just something that is part of this estate and therefor should go to his heir/s or whoever is written down in the will

vash · vash's Garage

is that notebook paper? if so, get those stamps onto some archival paper.

GWN7 · 02-06-2009, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by creaturecat

Almost forgot....... She has allowed me to keep the box, which held the Military medal, Christmas 1914. Pretty hard for her to repossess, since she gave it to me for my 21st birthday, in 1975.

Sorry for your loss........just thought you'd like to know a bit of history of the brass box..... it was a Christmas gift to soliders and sailors from Princess Mary, the daughter of King George V. If I remember rightly it contained Christmas Cake, a note pad to send letters home and a pencil in the shape of a .308 shell to write the letters.
I have the same box.

creaturecat · 02-06-2009, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattKellett

Were the medals in your aunt's possession?

Surely, as she is not your father's immediate family, how does she decide your father's estate?, unless she is the executor of your father's will.

Maybe you are friendly with your cousin and it's not an issue, but it does seems strange that she is giving something away, that legally I don't think she has a right to do.

At the end of the day, even though it has sentimental value to you, it is just something that is part of this estate and therefor should go to his heir/s or whoever is written down in the will

I am the executor. The will stipulated that everything go to my mom.
My aunt has written me a long letter, saying her days are numbered, and the siblings had a verbal agreement, of said nature.
She wants to make things "right" and has appealed to my sense of "duty" to the family.
BTW. I hate the cousin's guts. For all the right reasons.

GWN7 · 02-06-2009, 01:09 PM

In that case I'd ignore the Aunt. Your grandfathers medals were given to your father. They then became his property and were his to do as he wished. If he wanted his sister to have them he would have stipulated so in his will.

By ignoring her it will be the same as telling her to pound sand.

Moses · 02-06-2009, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by creaturecat

I am the executor. The will stipulated that everything go to my mom.
My aunt has written me a long letter, saying her days are numbered, and the siblings had a verbal agreement, of said nature.
She wants to make things "right" and has appealed to my sense of "duty" to the family.
BTW. I hate the cousin's guts. For all the right reasons.

You're the executor? I'd donate them to a local museum before I'd give them to the relatives.

craigster59 · craigster59's Garage

Sorry about your Father. Things always get a bit "sticky" when someone butts in and tries to change the "rules" so that it fits what they percieve as "right". I've been in the same situation before but stuck to my guns and did what I felt was what the person who passed would have wanted.

Besides the hatred for your cousin, is there any feeling that the medals would be sold or pawned if he became destitute? If so, screw 'em. I'd keep them and tell them all to go take a flying fark at a rolling doughnut.

Rot 911 · 02-06-2009, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moses

You're the executor? I'd donate them to a local museum before I'd give them to the relatives.

Executor has to follow the terms of the will, but if everything is to go to mom then you have the job/right to enforce those terms (assuming Aunt has the medals). If your mom has them then talk to her about having them passed down to you.