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How to tell if you're a M*******...

Being a transplant myself I can still relate :rolleyes: :

1. The Red Sox World Series win was, and will always be, one of the greatest moments in your life.2. The guy driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you're swearing at him for going too slow.3. When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke. 4. You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country as a kid. 5. You actually enjoy driving around a rotary. 6. You do not recognize the letter 'R' as a part of the English language. 7. Your social security number starts with a zero. 8. You can actually find your way around the streets of Boston . 9. You know what a 'regular' coffee is. 10. You keep an ice scraper in your car year-round. 11. You can tell the difference between a Revere accent and a Dorchester accent. 12. Springfield is located 'way out west.' 13. You almost feel disappointed if someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space. 14. You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester , Billerica , Gloucester , Peabody and Haverhill . 15. Anyone you don't know is a potential idiot until proven otherwise. 16. Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts or CVS Pharmacy within eyeshot at all times. 17. You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday just to buy alcohol. 18. You know how to pronounce Yastrzemski. 19. You know there's a trophy at the end of the Bean Pot. 20. You order iced coffee in January. 21. You know that the Purple Line will take you anywhere. 22. You love scorpion bowls. 23. You know what they sell at a Packie. 24. Sorry Manny, but number 24 means DEWEY EVANS. 25. You know what First Night is. 26. You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus. Bonus: You know how to pronounce Seamus. 27. McLobster = McCrap 28. You know at least 2 cops in your town because they were your high school drinking buddies. 29. You know there are 6 New England states, but that Connecticut really doesn't count. 30. You give incomprehensible directions to tourists, feel bad when they drive off, but then say to yourself 'Ah, screw them.' 31. You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call. 32. You hate the Kennedys, but you vote for them anyway. 33. You know holding onto the railing when riding the Green Line is not optional. 34. The numbers '78 and '86 make you cringe. 35. You've been to Goodtimes 36. You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day. (...and they DO). 37. You have never actually been to 'Cheers.' 38. The words ' WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together. 39. You've been to Fenway Park . 40. You've gone to at least one party at UMass. 41. You own a 'Yankees Suck' shirt or hat. 42. You know what a Frappe is. 43. You've been to Hempfest. 44. You know who Frank Averuch is. 45. You know Frank Averuch was once Bozo the Clown 46. You can complete the following: 'Lynn, Lynn .....' 47. You get pissed off when a restaurant serves clam chowder, and it turns out to be ******' Snows. 48. You actually know how to merge from six lanes of traffic down to one. 49. The TV weatherman is damn good if he's right 25% of the time. 50.You never go to Cape Cod,' you go 'down the Cape '51. You think that Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon are more evil than Whitey Bulger. 52. You know who Whitey Bulger is. 53. You went to the Swan Boats,House of Seven Gables, or Plymouth Plantation on a field trip in elementary school. 54. Bobby Orr is loved as much as Larry Bird, Tom Brady, and Ted Williams. 55. You remember Major Mudd. 56. You know what candlepin bowling is. 57. You can drive f rom the mountains to the ocean all in one day. 58. You know Scollay Square once stood where Government Center is. 59. When you were a kid, Rex Trailer was the coolest guy around. Speaking of which.... You can still hum the song from the end of Boom Town 61. Calling Carrabba's an 'Italian' restaurant is sacrilege. 62. You still have your old Flexible Flyer somewhere in your parents' attic. 63. You know that route 128 is some kind of strange weather dividing line. snow /rain 64. The only time you've been on the Freedom Trail is when relatives are in town. 65. The Big Dig tunnel disaster wasn't a surprise. 66. You call guys you've just met 'Chief' or 'Boss.' 67. 4:15pm and pitch black out means only 3 more shopping days until Christmas. 68. You know more than one person with the last name Murphy. 69. You refer to Savin Hill as 'Stab 'n Kill.' 70. You've eaten at Durgin Park , and recommend it to tourists. 71. You can't look at the zip code 02134 without singing it. 72. You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor just to screw with the rest of the country. 73 11 pm ? Drunk? It means one thing: Kowloons! 74. 2 am ? Drunk? It means one thing: Kelly's! The one on Revere Beach not the one o n Route 1. 75. 5 am ? Drunk? It means one thing: You wish you had a blanket in your back seat. 76. You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group. 77. People you don't like are all 'Bastids.' 78. You took off school or work for the Patriots first Super Bowl Win Parade. 79. You've called something 'wicked pissa.' 80. You'll always get razzed for Dukakis. 81. Saturday af ternoons meant Creature Double Feature with Dale Dorman. 82. Sunday mornings m eant the Three Stooges on Channel 38. 83. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater. 84. No, you don't trust the Gorton's Fisherman. 85. You k now that Papa Gino's usually has a jukebox. 86. You think Aerosmith is the greatest rock band of all time 87. Your town has at least 6 pizza and roast beef shops. 88. You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frankie. 89. 20 degrees is downright balmy as long as there is no wind- then it gets wicked cold. 90. You were very sad when saying goodbye to the Boston Garden . 91. Thanksgiving means family, turkey, High School football, and the long version of Alice 's Restaurant. 92. You know the guy who founded the Boston Pops was named Athah Feedlah. 93. You know what the Combat Zone is. 94. You actually drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax. 95. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left. 96. You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop. 97. You've been to Hampton Beach on a Saturday night. 98. Playing street hockey was a daily after school ritual. 99. Hearing an old lady shout 'Numbah 96 for Sioux City !' means it's time for steak. 100. You remember Jordan Marsh, Filene's, Grants, Bradlees, Caldor, Zayres, or Ann & Hope. 101. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts .

The Sox won a World Series? Go Yaz!

102. You don't know what a paragraph or bullet list is. ;):D

Carriage Return is your friend.

I was going to fix it for you, but geez it's wicked long and I hate Boston.

I got to #4 and then my eyes started buggin' out.

Seriously dude, see the big giant key that says "Enter" on it? Learn it, use it, love it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by porkee (Post 4495371)

The enter key is your friend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by porkee (Post 4495371)

Being a transplant myself I can still relate :rolleyes: :

1. The Red Sox World Series win was, and will always be, one of the greatest moments in your life.
2. The guy driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you're swearing at him for going too slow.
3. When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke.
4. You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country as a kid.
5. You actually enjoy driving around a rotary.
6. You do not recognize the letter 'R' as a part of the English language.
7. Your social security number starts with a zero.
8. You can actually find your way around the streets of Boston .
9. You know what a 'regular' coffee is.
10. You keep an ice scraper in your car year-round.
11. You can tell the difference between a Revere accent and a Dorchester accent.
12. Springfield is located 'way out west.'
13. You almost feel disappointed if someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.
14. You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester , Billerica , Gloucester , Peabody and Haverhill .
15. Anyone you don't know is a potential idiot until proven otherwise.
16. Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts or CVS Pharmacy within eyeshot at all times.
17. You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday just to buy alcohol.
18. You know how to pronounce Yastrzemski.
19. You know there's a trophy at the end of the Bean Pot.
20. You order iced coffee in January.
21. You know that the Purple Line will take you anywhere.
22. You love scorpion bowls.
23. You know what they sell at a Packie.
24. Sorry Manny, but number 24 means DEWEY EVANS.
25. You know what First Night is.
26. You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus. Bonus: You know how to pronounce Seamus.
27. McLobster = McCrap
28. You know at least 2 cops in your town because they were your high school drinking buddies.
29. You know there are 6 New England states, but that Connecticut really doesn't count.
30. You give incomprehensible directions to tourists, feel bad when they drive off, but then say to yourself 'Ah, screw them.'
31. You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.
32. You hate the Kennedys, but you vote for them anyway.
33. You know holding onto the railing when riding the Green Line is not optional. 34. The numbers '78 and '86 make you cringe.
35. You've been to Goodtimes
36. You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day. (...and they DO).
37. You have never actually been to 'Cheers.'
38. The words ' WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together.
39. You've been to Fenway Park .
40. You've gone to at least one party at UMass.
41. You own a 'Yankees Suck' shirt or hat.
42. You know what a Frappe is.
43. You've been to Hempfest.
44. You know who Frank Averuch is.
45. You know Frank Averuch was once Bozo the Clown
46. You can complete the following: 'Lynn, Lynn .....'
47. You get pissed off when a restaurant serves clam chowder, and it turns out to be ******' Snows.
48. You actually know how to merge from six lanes of traffic down to one.
49. The TV weatherman is damn good if he's right 25% of the time.
50.You never go to Cape Cod,' you go 'down the Cape '
51. You think that Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon are more evil than Whitey Bulger.
52. You know who Whitey Bulger is.
53. You went to the Swan Boats,House of Seven Gables, or Plymouth Plantation on a field trip in elementary school.
54. Bobby Orr is loved as much as Larry Bird, Tom Brady, and Ted Williams.
55. You remember Major Mudd.
56. You know what candlepin bowling is.
57. You can drive f rom the mountains to the ocean all in one day.
58. You know Scollay Square once stood where Government Center is.
59. When you were a kid, Rex Trailer was the coolest guy around. Speaking of which.... You can still hum the song from the end of Boom Town
61. Calling Carrabba's an 'Italian' restaurant is sacrilege.
62. You still have your old Flexible Flyer somewhere in your parents' attic.
63. You know that route 128 is some kind of strange weather dividing line. snow /rain
64. The only time you've been on the Freedom Trail is when relatives are in town. 65. The Big Dig tunnel disaster wasn't a surprise.
66. You call guys you've just met 'Chief' or 'Boss.'
67. 4:15pm and pitch black out means only 3 more shopping days until Christmas. 68. You know more than one person with the last name Murphy.
69. You refer to Savin Hill as 'Stab 'n Kill.'
70. You've eaten at Durgin Park , and recommend it to tourists.
71. You can't look at the zip code 02134 without singing it.
72. You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor just to screw with the rest of the country.
73 11 pm ? Drunk? It means one thing: Kowloons!
74. 2 am ? Drunk? It means one thing: Kelly's! The one on Revere Beach not the one o n Route 1.
75. 5 am ? Drunk? It means one thing: You wish you had a blanket in your back seat.
76. You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group.
77. People you don't like are all 'Bastids.'
78. You took off school or work for the Patriots first Super Bowl Win Parade.
79. You've called something 'wicked pissa.'
80. You'll always get razzed for Dukakis.
81. Saturday af ternoons meant Creature Double Feature with Dale Dorman.
82. Sunday mornings m eant the Three Stooges on Channel 38.
83. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater.
84. No, you don't trust the Gorton's Fisherman.
85. You k now that Papa Gino's usually has a jukebox.
86. You think Aerosmith is the greatest rock band of all time
87. Your town has at least 6 pizza and roast beef shops.
88. You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frankie.
89. 20 degrees is downright balmy as long as there is no wind- then it gets wicked cold.
90. You were very sad when saying goodbye to the Boston Garden .
91. Thanksgiving means family, turkey, High School football, and the long version of Alice 's Restaurant.
92. You know the guy who founded the Boston Pops was named Athah Feedlah. 93. You know what the Combat Zone is.
94. You actually drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax.
95. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.
96. You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop. 97. You've been to Hampton Beach on a Saturday night.
98. Playing street hockey was a daily after school ritual.
99. Hearing an old lady shout 'Numbah 96 for Sioux City !' means it's time for steak.
100. You remember Jordan Marsh, Filene's, Grants, Bradlees, Caldor, Zayres, or Ann & Hope.
101. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts .

wow that was a waste of brain power... BTW you fogot #60

AZ, did you do it by hand you can you do that in one keystroke? I am always up for learning new MS word stuff. The rest, I could care less since I didn`t read it.

The hard way. :(

I have too much free time on my hands.. bought time i get back out to the garage.... :)

Wait, how do you do that with one keystroke. Please, do tell!

Sorry for this post all. I took a copy & paste from one of those dumb chain emails I received from home. At least it got a rise! :D :eek:

Don't care about the rest of the griping, but what is an M with a bunch of asterisks after it? Obviously it's some sort of slang for people who live in Boston but what's the word?

I'm guessing it's M A S S H O L E", and yes I'm proud to be one.

I can relate to all those, now that someone nicely put them in a format that doesn't give me seizures.

If anyone needs clarification on any of the more obscure ones, let me know. I actually get all the references on that list from "way back when" I used to live there. Scary.

Guilty... moved here from the west coast (Menlo Park, CA) when I was six, but apparently that was early enough for me to be a full fledged Massh0le :)

Went to the New England Golden Gloves tournament of champions in Lowell last night, the accents present were astounding!

Quote:

Originally Posted by milt (Post 4495398)

102. You don't know what a paragraph or bullet list is. ;):D

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/wat3.gif

1 . The Red Sox World Series win was, and will always be, one of the greatest moments in your life.2 . The guy driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you're swearing at him for going too slow.3 . When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke . 4 . You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country as a kid . 5 . You actually enjoy driving around a rotary . 6 . You do not recognize the letter 'R' as a part of the English language . 7 . Your social security number starts with a zero . 8 . You can actually find your way around the streets of Boston . 9 . You know what a 'regular' coffee is . 10 . You keep an ice scraper in your car year-round . 11 . You can tell the difference between a Revere accent and a Dorchester accent . 12 . Springfield is located 'way out west.' 13 . You almost feel disappointed if someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space . 14 . You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester , Billerica , Gloucester , Peabody and Haverhill . 15 . Anyone you don't know is a potential idiot until proven otherwise . 16 . Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts or CVS Pharmacy within eyeshot at all times . 17 . You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday just to buy alcohol . 18 . You know how to pronounce Yastrzemski . 19 . You know there's a trophy at the end of the Bean Pot . 20 . You order iced coffee in January . 21 . You know that the Purple Line will take you anywhere . 22 . You love scorpion bowls . 23 . You know what they sell at a Packie . 24 . Sorry Manny, but number 24 means DEWEY EVANS . 25 . You know what First Night is . 26 . You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus . Bonus: You know how to pronounce Seamus . 27 . McLobster = McCrap 28 . You know at least 2 cops in your town because they were your high school drinking buddies . 29 . You know there are 6 New England states, but that Connecticut really doesn't count . 30 . You give incomprehensible directions to tourists, feel bad when they drive off, but then say to yourself 'Ah, screw them.' 31 . You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call . 32 . You hate the Kennedys, but you vote for them anyway . 33 . You know holding onto the railing when riding the Green Line is not optional . 34 . The numbers '78 and '86 make you cringe . 35 . You've been to Goodtimes 36 . You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day . (...and they DO) . 37 . You have never actually been to 'Cheers.' 38 . The words ' WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together . 39 . You've been to Fenway Park . 40 . You've gone to at least one party at UMass . 41 . You own a 'Yankees Suck' shirt or hat. 42 . You know what a Frappe is . 43 . You've been to Hempfest . 44 . You know who Frank Averuch is . 45 . You know Frank Averuch was once Bozo the Clown 46 . You can complete the following: 'Lynn, Lynn .....' 47 . You get pissed off when a restaurant serves clam chowder, and it turns out to be ******' Snows . 48 . You actually know how to merge from six lanes of traffic down to one . 49 . The TV weatherman is damn good if he's right 25% of the time . 50.You never go to Cape Cod,' you go 'down the Cape '51 . You think that Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon are more evil than Whitey Bulger . 52 . You know who Whitey Bulger is . 53 . You went to the Swan Boats,House of Seven Gables, or Plymouth Plantation on a field trip in elementary school . 54 . Bobby Orr is loved as much as Larry Bird, Tom Brady, and Ted Williams . 55 . You remember Major Mudd . 56 . You know what candlepin bowling is . 57 . You can drive f rom the mountains to the ocean all in one day . 58 . You know Scollay Square once stood where Government Center is . 59 . When you were a kid, Rex Trailer was the coolest guy around . Speaking of which... . You can still hum the song from the end of Boom Town 61 . Calling Carrabba's an 'Italian' restaurant is sacrilege . 62 . You still have your old Flexible Flyer somewhere in your parents' attic . 63 . You know that route 128 is some kind of strange weather dividing line . snow /rain 64 . The only time you've been on the Freedom Trail is when relatives are in town . 65 . The Big Dig tunnel disaster wasn't a surprise . 66 . You call guys you've just met 'Chief' or 'Boss.' 67 . 4:15pm and pitch black out means only 3 more shopping days until Christmas . 68 . You know more than one person with the last name Murphy . 69 . You refer to Savin Hill as 'Stab 'n Kill.' 70 . You've eaten at Durgin Park , and recommend it to tourists . 71 . You can't look at the zip code 02134 without singing it . 72 . You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor just to screw with the rest of the country . 73 11 pm ? Drunk? It means one thing: Kowloons! 74 . 2 am ? Drunk? It means one thing: Kelly's! The one on Revere Beach not the one o n Route 1 . 75 . 5 am ? Drunk? It means one thing: You wish you had a blanket in your back seat . 76 . You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group . 77 . People you don't like are all 'Bastids.' 78 . You took off school or work for the Patriots first Super Bowl Win Parade . 79 . You've called something 'wicked pissa.' 80 . You'll always get razzed for Dukakis . 81 . Saturday af ternoons meant Creature Double Feature with Dale Dorman . 82 . Sunday mornings m eant the Three Stooges on Channel 38 . 83 . You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater . 84 . No, you don't trust the Gorton's Fisherman . 85 . You k now that Papa Gino's usually has a jukebox . 86 . You think Aerosmith is the greatest rock band of all time 87 . Your town has at least 6 pizza and roast beef shops . 88 . You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frankie . 89 . 20 degrees is downright balmy as long as there is no wind- then it gets wicked cold . 90 . You were very sad when saying goodbye to the Boston Garden . 91 . Thanksgiving means family, turkey, High School football, and the long version of Alice 's Restaurant . 92 . You know the guy who founded the Boston Pops was named Athah Feedlah . 93 . You know what the Combat Zone is . 94 . You actually drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax . 95 . You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left . 96 . You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop . 97 . You've been to Hampton Beach on a Saturday night . 98 . Playing street hockey was a daily after school ritual . 99 . Hearing an old lady shout 'Numbah 96 for Sioux City !' means it's time for steak . 100 . You remember Jordan Marsh, Filene's, Grants, Bradlees, Caldor, Zayres, or Ann & Hope . 101 . You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts .

paste the offending text in notepad

file
edit
replace
type . and one space
replace by
. and (br) but with <> brackets (can't do it here or it would just do a Break line in your browser)

replace all

paste the result back

only works on the internet browzers

ain't perfect, but fast
and depends on some kind of starting character before each sentence

Quote:

Originally Posted by porkee (Post 4495371)

1. The Red Sox World Series win was, and will always be, one of the greatest moments in your life.

This is as far as I got...I don't watch baseball, I follow F1 :D
I'm still squinting one eye watching a file transfer let alone reading that one massive piece of text (FYI)

I am pretty sure that there is a provision for that in office 07. But that is a bloody nightmare to run and I am in a college class learning it.

We have ****ty avatars compared to the vortex btw.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJFusco (Post 4495675)

Wait, how do you do that with one keystroke. Please, do tell!

Write a bash or PERL script. Technically, when you hit enter to run the script, it'd be one keystroke. :D