something strange happened to me today
 

and i can't quite parse it.

this old guy comes to my door, and i mean old. he is holding a knitted purple something or other on a hangar that is so long it almost drags the ground. frankly, i was so dumbfounded i am afraid i just didn't know what to say.

he says, "is your wife home?" this also threw me for a loop. i replied that she was not. then he says, "well, my wife knits these." i said, ok. then he just shuffles off across my yard.

i THINK he was trying to sell it, but he split without saying anything other than the above. i was fairly disturbed for about an hour, just trying to get a handle on what the poor guy was doing. i still can't quite get my head around it.

Poor guy.

Been there. Not that specifically, but similar things.

Living around here I usually have one strange happening every month or two.

Once, when I was at a neighborhood-style party for 4th of july at the neighbor's two houses down. we were al pretty drunk and shooting fireworks off and such. We had just moved in and just met the neighbors that night and it was pretty cool. Then the neighbor 1 house down gets home and we yell to him to come over and party. He does. He is a man in his late 20's who is larger and very spanish. He has met my other neighbors before but not us (me and my roomate) He looks at me and says "Hey are you the new neighbors?" and I reply yes we are. He then says, and I sh&% you not, directly after: "Do you guys smoke crack?" I replied, slowly, confused: "No.." He then, without missing a beat, asked "Do you wanna come over to my place?"

Weird, weird man. We actually did go over to his place, mainly because I was extremely intoxicated and curious now. Needless to say I don't think there was any crack cocaine around his house but I am fairly sure he deals in some quantities of cannabis..

Still, who greets new neighbors with "Do you guys do crack?"



Also, a good friend of mine was in the local WalMart (a heaven for crazy people stories), in the canned food ilse when he heard a woman gasp loudly and sorta scream a bit. He looked over and saw a woman in shock and a man down on his knees proposing to her. In the canned food isle at the local Po-dunk walmart. Yea, way to go man. And then, on the same trip to walmart, he is walking out the doors and hears some yelling. It was a man by a car yelling to a woman, and he quotes:

"Fine! you can just take the car, and the kid, and get the hell out of my life! I don't *#&%ing love you anymore anyways!"

to which she replied

"I've been cheating on you!"


.... full circle right there folks, at the Rolla WalMart.

Now the only way that story could get better is if the two incidents happened to be the same couple...

Maybe someone who thinks crack heads are worthless and doesn't want to associate with them, even if he is a pot head.

Oh, that was your house??

Remember that commercial with the frying Pan with a burnt egg in it? "This is your brain on drugs"

Have you ever known anyone who smokes pot on a daily basis? I have had neighbors who did. It was difficult to avoid them. They would see you come home from work and then would knock on the door within minutes to tell you how they saved the day. These types are hard to send home and wont just go away. Generally speaking, they tend to be concerned with nonsense, have very little ambition, money issues, messy house and just trashy. They will tell you every problem they have is someone else's fault.

They are usually the first one to say "That Commercial is stupid man! Pot doesn't do anything to you, dude!

Really?

Bob

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Actually, I don't think he was trying to sell it to you. I think they were sharing. I periodically go through similar stages where I feel the need to create something and share it...

This has gone on throughout my life. When I was a kid, I knitted. For about two years, everyone got scarves or hats. I even knitted a blanket for my best friend.

A couple of years ago, I made everyone that I know double sided fleece blankets (plus made about 8 or 10 for donations). When I go on a cookie baking binge - look out. I'll make three or four hundred cookies and give them all away.

I don't know exactly why I do this, but I suspect it is the same reason that the man's wife knitted the dress and gave it away. I feel compelled and there are no strings attached.

angela

He was sent from the mothership to test you...

Next time greet him with "all hail king Blaxo"

He will make you prime minister of planet Plingtow!

Angela,

Sounds like you're a very nice person. I think its the satisfaction and innate need to help each other. I always felt better about mowing an elderly neighbors lawn than my own, when as a kid.

To this day my parents seem very happy when I ask for something like a babysitting date. I don't do it often, because I don't like to ask.

I think its may be the feeling of being needed.

Anyway- Angela, I like pecan pie...do you know how to bake them?

Bob

Sounds to me like it might be a bit of old age dementia.

Most of my immediate neighbors are original owners of their homes and are 70+ years old. I feel like a teenager in comparison. We've been here for 27 years and never heard a loud party unless it was ours.

Some neighbors have died, some have gone to retirement communities, and some have a little dementia, but if you spend just a small amount of time talking with them or helping them, they are profusely appreciative. They have interesting life experiences, it's like opening up a book about far away travels and life's lessons.

Maybe the guy with the knitted shawl or whatever was a neighbor you could have enjoyed.

Wow ................... sounds more like boozehounds.

maybe, but we've lived here for almost six years and i have never seen the man before.

i was leaning more towards him being from the mothership or something.

Should have offered him the purple grape drink..

my name isn't jones.

Or some crack....

You need to read the Lorax. The man was the Once-Ler, and was selling a Thneed. Please don't support the destruction of Truffula Trees.

maybe it was a "man dress" for you

A Thneed's a Fine-Something-That-All-People-Need! It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a glove. It's a hat. But it has other uses, yes, far beyond that. You can use it for carpets, for pillows, for sheets, or curtains, or covers for bicycle seats.

http://www.cise.ufl.edu/~cjermain/thneed.jpg

or obama:D

i wasn't going to go there, but i am glad you did. crack anyone!?

my wife loves your posts, BTW.

Should find out how much. They could be some old couple on the verge of losing it all, trying desperately to meet ends meet, fixed income, yada, yada.

Helping out people that genuinely need help feels really nice. Plus then you could demand your wife wear it (at least once.) hehe.

i asked my neighbor if she saw him. she talked to him for a minute and he never discussed price with her. if he hadn't left so quick, i probably would have given him a twenty, just because. he never even offered to sell or said much of anything. i would bet this guy was 80+ years old.

My dad is 84 and still up around, driving, living life with my 85 year old mom.

They move a little slow and do tend to repeat themselves a bit but they are pretty sharp for their age.

SmileWavy

He probably forgot to tell you. Old people can be totally adorable at times.

Haha Oh you could not be more right.

We have one elderly man that walks daily past our house. His arms swing in unison so he walks sort of monkey-like. Perhaps he previously had a stroke, I'm not going to ask. Really nice guy but his mind is disappearing quickly.

We were having our carpets steam cleaned before Thanksgiving and he came by for a recommendation for his carpets. I gave him the number of the guy and a week later he thanked me and said the guy did a wonderful job and was inexpensive too. Then a few days later he said..... the guy did a wonderful job and was inexpensive too. Then a few days later he said.... the guy did a wonderful job and was inexpensive too. etc etc etc.

He rang my doorbell the other day and exclaimed the guy did a good job on his carpets. I smile and act like this is a revelation. Inside I'm sad for this fellow who is so friendly and seemingly spry for his age.

I don't know where he lives, but our house is on his walking route. I suppose one day I will realize he isn't telling me how nice his carpet came out and he will have passed. But for now it's a smile and a wave and he tells me how nice his carpet looks.

Some day we will all get old if we're lucky.

When I get really old I am going to do random things to freak out people.


Like in this Jackass movie, NSFW most likely due to fake balls and language.


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LOL! That was great chief!

I am sure he is lonely and hoping you'll strike up a conversation.

I used to have an old neighbor, little old man, was so nice, and i would talk to him, small chit chat, always smiled even if i was a bit bored. One day he invites me into his house, and on his wall i see two framed Silver Stars and a Purple heart.

The guy was a WWII vet who stormed the beaches of Normandy in the first wave, and i never knew it. He never said a word. His name was Ernie.

Meeting him and getting to be his friend has been one of the greatest honors of my life.

My other neighbor was a TBF Avenger gunner in the Pacific during WWII. He was super friendly and very talkative, and could be annoying i suppose, but i always stood there and listened to every word he said. If it wasn't for him....
Anyway, he's no longer with us now. His name was Skip.