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-   -   What can you do about a hemorrhoid? (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/459300-what-can-you-do-about-hemorrhoid.html)

vash 02-25-2009 08:24 AM
quit reading magazines on the toilet.
eat more fiber, and drink plenty of water.

i know a guy that had a fissure. he shared a room with me at a bachelor party in vegas. before sleeping every night, he would eat half a spoon of metamucil DRY!!!! i gagged and he explained the fissure, which makes a roid seem like fun.

he gave me the three words of wisdom i listed.

Chocaholic 02-25-2009 08:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by livi (Post 4506870)
Corticosteroids in the form of cream/ointment or suppositories administered rectally is both reasonably effective and fun.

Markus....I was born with a one-way sphincter! No fun.


One other part of turning 50 is the recommendation for a colonoscopy. Is it reasonable to ask the scope-chap to excise the roid at the same time?

livi 02-25-2009 09:59 AM
Yes, that would be perfectly reasonable. At least if you let them know before hand that you have this desire. The steroids are not a bad option though, if the piece is not too large. If that does not help you can always have it removed at the procedure.

Oh, and congrats on turning 50! Good job!

Zeke 02-25-2009 11:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by terryh (Post 4506840)
"once it has been deprived of its vital blood supply, the banded hemorrhoid withers and falls off."


does it just roll out of your pant leg while you're standing in the buffet line?

Perhaps disguised as a grape, slip it into the fruit bowl?


Around christmas i had a bout with food poisioning. I was dry heaving for an hour and the next day i detected something anew down yonder. It has since retreated and i'm hoping it shant return.
rotflmao!

Chocaholic 02-25-2009 12:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TerryH (Post 4506840)
"Once it has been deprived of its vital blood supply, the banded hemorrhoid withers and falls off."


Does it just roll out of your pant leg while you're standing in the buffet line?

Perhaps disguised as a grape, slip it into the fruit bowl?


Around Christmas I had a bout with food poisioning. I was dry heaving for an hour and the next day I detected something anew down yonder. It has since retreated and I'm hoping it shant return.


This should be nominated for funniest post of the year! About sprouted another muffin from laughing so hard.

Made my day!

dhoward 02-25-2009 12:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chocaholic (Post 4506579)
Snipped...
Feels like walking around with a finger in your butt.
...Snipped

Umm......we know this how exactly?

red-beard 02-25-2009 12:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dhoward (Post 4507538)
Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Originally Posted by Chocaholic http://forums.pelicanparts.com/image...s/viewpost.gif
Snipped...
Feels like walking around with a finger in your butt.
...Snipped
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<!-- END TEMPLATE: bbcode_quote -->
Umm......we know this how exactly?
Suddenly, I have a visual of the sistine chapel, except the finger is going someplace different...

LeeH 02-25-2009 04:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TerryH (Post 4506840)
"Once it has been deprived of its vital blood supply, the banded hemorrhoid withers and falls off."


Does it just roll out of your pant leg while you're standing in the buffet line?

Perhaps disguised as a grape, slip it into the fruit bowl?


Around Christmas I had a bout with food poisioning. I was dry heaving for an hour and the next day I detected something anew down yonder. It has since retreated and I'm hoping it shant return.


http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1235606684.gif

911Rob 02-25-2009 06:15 PM
Just chiming in to say Happy B-Day Choc!
Ya old fart.

lendaddy 02-25-2009 06:41 PM
Just put Dipso on ignore, no need to go though all this.

svandamme 02-26-2009 12:38 AM
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1235637528.jpg

afterburn 549 02-26-2009 09:54 AM
I think they named them wrong
should be
ASteroids, Not hemorrhoids

tshore 02-26-2009 10:13 AM
Take a hot bath once a day for 20-30 mins. Go out and walk as much as you can. Do this, and they will go away in about 2 weeks, in my experience.


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