Short answer: Yes.

Only people who aren't paying attention never ask if they are on-track.

I look at my past and wonder what things would be like now had I taken a different route; however, what is done is done, and after looking back the critical step is to turn around and decide what the future should be like.

Several years ago I bought my wife a plaque that reads: "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?"

Words worth living by.

Jim

Marcus, these are eternal questions asked by men through the ages. It is a process of reassessing your place in life, the ol' "who am I?" Asking the questions makes you normal. Overreacting makes it into a mid-life crisis.

Hell, I'd buy a car and enter the Indy 500. At 63 YO, I'd be on a Wheaties box for sure. Wouldn't that be so cool that an old man could whip up on Marco Andretti?

Hell, if I knew I couldn't fail, I'd buy a car for Mario too!

With all due respect to all those that have posted, is it possible that you have missed (or dismissed) the answer to your emptiness along the way? To further elaborate would require a trip to PARF and I don't wish to make this another platform for useless bickering. I will only suggest that you do what we used to do in College: go back and recheck all your calculations to see if a mistake was made.

Markus, I think every one of those questions come with age.

I've been fighting them for a few months now. Unemployment gives you a lot of time to think about things. The question that comes to the top for me now is, Is it worth it? I'm not suicidal so don't worry there guys, but the things that used to make me happy just don't do it anymore. It seems like I'm in a fog, and can't find the sun. I'll keep stumbling through it though, I'm too damned stubborn to give up.

As my Father says Markus, "you seem to have your ***** together". It shows in your posts. The things that are the most important to you never come second. You're a good man, as just about everyone here is. We really do have some good people here.

That's when I decided to SELL my Porsche...guess I figured it was time to grow up?

Don't think about the present, think about the future.
Currently I am in about a 15 year ahead mindset.
It is sometimes weird when I think about it.
If you take care of the future, the present takes care of itself.

Austin Powers would say "that's the human condition, baby!"

I grew up watching Bergman films, and I suspect some of your issues are Swedish issues. The only cure I can think of for those is a long holiday.

Take a month in Thailand or Crete or Perth or Santiago or Accra or some other warm and happy place.

Marcus. You just need to go down to the beach one summers day and you will see more beauty than most of us will see in a lifetime.

I decided to drop what I saw as my game plan as a late teen and accept the person I am. Strangely I'm about the oposite of what I thought I would turn out to be. I feel that looking at the greener grass on the other side of the fence, and envying what other people have, won't change it for me. And probably most of those "other" people look at me and envy what I have.

Marcus, I am in my 40’z and was told a long time ago you reinvent yourself every 4 years?
Always wondered what that meant until I realized I do it every 4 years (not profession but rather attitude and perspectives) YMMV :D

trust me, like I said...you need to drink more.

Get a mountain bike, or a shifter kart, track your 911 or buy a motorcycle. Life is to be lived.

I've only broken my ankle in three spots, my tail bone, 4 ribs, both wrists,my left elbow needed a Dr. with a drill and a screwdriver to but it back together, 1 concussion, and compressed T-10 to 1/2 of it's height.SmileWavy


Live harder.

You're assuming there's a right and wrong answer. But with most things in life, it's not right or wrong, just different. Furthermore, without taking that path, how can you know what the outcome could have been? When the outcome isn't certain, there's always room for doubt.

People see me, they see my Porsche and 9 out of 10 times I get "mid-life" crisis comments.

Ha! I tell people that it's all a LIE, there is NO mid-life crisis!
That's just how long it takes a man to pay cash for his toys.
If I knew then, what I know now; I'd of done it sooner ;)

PS: that usually shuts them up too :)

Dear livi
 

RE your Thread..On getting lost in the shufle of life.

When I was 20 years old I realized I didn't know jack about anything and that I was a lost soul. To that end I knew it would take time so I began a process of examining my life, going back into family history to see why the people in my family were the way they were. My guiding principle for all these years has been, "What does it gain a man to inherit the world only to lose his soul." The greatest achivement a man can have is peace of mind, for what does wealth garner a man when it is so transitory a thing considering that our lives are so short. These verty words are what I realized when I was 20.

For many years I trudged on down that dusty road. Putting piece by piece together, each event examined as it took place. Till a year or two ago I realized that I had come to the crest of a hill and the promised land that I had worked and sought so hard to find was right there in front of me. The arrival is not quiet what I had imagined it would be when I started, but in some ways it is far beyond my expectations.

On the personal level my ability to focus my intelect and my ability to anticipate people and events astounds me. Not only do I have self knowledge, but have developed a unique talent of being able to construct and deconstruct human activity at will. The accuracy and the power that being able to rely upon ones imagination is literarly untold. It transcends time and distance.

I always knew I had talent, but now have the abilty to wield that talent. The challenge going forward for me is to put those talents which I have honed to use. To leave something substantial behind, to add to the thinking of this world

To tell the truth some of the things I have posted on this Board and elsewhere are very advanced thinking that is a given. I know that some things are even cutting edge, the only question that I still have is am I blazing a new trail where no one else has gone before? Or been able to articulate in an analytical manner.

BTW I know who to ask to get my answer.

Markus,
This is of course THE existential quesiton: why am I here?

I too am plagued at times by this and have envied friends who are blissfully ignorant enough to never ask such questions. However, as one who does ask, there needs to be an answer. The best anwswer I have found is James Taylor who sings "the secret to life is enjoying the passage of time."

So, there you go. The answer rests within yourself.

For all of the previous philosophical BS here is a personal note. So far in 2009 I have been working my butt off and getting nothing accomplished. I found myself spiralling into a slump. I believe I have remedied this but you never know.

I believe that the key may be to make a change. However for this to work effectively, you must have a workable strategy and stick with it. My issue was making a change and then not succeeding in the short term, then jumping back to my old comfortable pattern. That is a recipe for a funk my friend, try to avoid it.

Another thing. I am just North of 45 Degrees lattitude. I believe Sweden is significantly North of that. All the Swedes I have met look very young. They tell me it is because the sun is never seen in Sweden. As an MD, you are aware that lack of sunlight can lead to depression. This is still early March. You might consider that. It certainly impacts me and MANY people near me. I would imagine that people further North have it much worse.

Let me say that I have never met you and probably will never have that priviledge. However, you strike me as a man of high integrity, compassion and humor. These attributes come across in your posts regularly. You are pretty universally well regarded if you read other's postings about you. These attributes that you demonstrate are among the most desireable that we can offer as humans and you possess them. Congratulations!

While you are in a time of reflection (to put it nicely) you need to properly accept the positive attributes that you possess. I know all too well that life can come across flat and empty. It is perhaps my life's biggest challenges to make it meaningful.

Good luck! You can do it. I have compete confidence in you.

Larry

When I was younger (late teens - early 20s) I made myself miserable wondering/worrying about what life held for me. It took a while, but I eventually learned to spend significantly more of my life living in the moment instead of contemplating the past or future. It's hard for me to describe the level of contentedness that brings.

My life has turned out much differently than what I would have wished for 20 years ago, but I can hardly imagine a change of circumstances that would result in greater happiness.

The funny thing is that the individual events leading up to what has become my life seem stastically unlikely. A while back our daughter asked my wife and I how we met and the chain of events had so many twists that I shuddered at the thought of how one seemingly minor change years ago would have resulted in a completely different life today... but I guess that's true for everyone.

Some random, key events in our lives - My wife: Had multiple offers from grad schools and chose Emory in Atlanta, which put us in the same state. She and her first husband could only afford one car, so she bought a scooter to get around. Taking the MSF course on her scooter, she realized a 'real' motorcycle was a better choice and started researching them on Prodigy. This lead to a Georgia riders forum and a new bike.

Me: Went in the Navy out of high school. A friend introduced me to one of his friends - someone who would, years later, get sent from Chicago to Atlanta to work on a tech project a few miles from my house. The manager of this project would soon quit and I eventually got that job. While in that job I wandered in to an office supply store and saw an open box PC that was on sale. This purchase resulted in me getting online. About the same time I saw a magazine ad on the back of a magazine (that someone left turned around on the newstand) for a new Yamaha Seca II which had a very low price. I bought the bike and while using my new PC ended up on Prodigy where I met my wife to be. A group ride to Deals Gap was arranged by someone on the board. My wife-to-be crashed her bike right in front of me. This crash was the catalyst that caused her and her husband to split and she ended up renting a room from me until she could find an apartment, but eventually decided that renting from me was a better deal despite a longer commute.

It's interesting to consider that any one of those (or other factors), if altered, would have easily resulted in an entirely different life for us and perhaps many others. If the magazine were placed on the newstand front cover out instead of the back cover out, my entire life could have followed a different path!

Markus, three pages of responses. Says a lot about how all of us pelicans think about you and how you are perceived. I would only suggest you are and have been dealing with a case of " burn out". From what I know, which is very little, it takes time to work thru it. Take some of the suggestions, like, plan some events to look forward to, take a day off each week and do something with your kids or get some exercise. I guess the deal is - do something- don't just sit and stew. Do we all think about this stuff from time to time, yes. Does it do any good? Not really.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Four years down the road, in the company of this phenomenal assembly, I have on multiple occasions had the most astonishing exchange of knowledge, humor, heart and soul. This thread contains so many insightful replies, so much life experience, that I will simply have to print it out. I am humbled as ever in the vicinity of the Pelican community.

Thanks. Thanks so much all of you.

Larry, I couldn't agree more! Thanks.

Life is meant to be enjoyed; follow your Bliss! (Joseph Campbell)

Levi: Good stuff I agree!

Well, as the expression goes, "how's that working out for you?" If you aren't finding peace then maybe you need to look in another place.
If you have nagging feelings that you are missing something then maybe you are. If you are not at peace with the direction of your life and final destination then maybe you are on a wrong road. Drinking more, better drugs, a new SO, bigger thrills, or buying better toys, only distract you for a short period of time.
Each person had to reconcile with themselves if they are on the right path. All I know is that "he who dies with the most toys is STILL DEAD".

I know what it is like to wonder "what the heck am I doing and why am I doing it?

It took me a 7 week trip to the Sunshine Coast to realize that my time on this planet was being wasted.
I met several people along the way that in some way influenced me to get back on track and live my life again. The coolest thing about meeting these people is that in sharing their pain my life looked very easy to live. They never knew how much they helped me.
When I arrived back home I made every effort to change my life, and I did.
"The unexamined life......."

Very interesting thread. As I write this, I am two weeks into a layoff from an executive position at a job I hated and planned on leaving, but felt that I was "golden handcuffed" to. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. It was my first failure at a job in over 25 years of work.

Fortunately, I got a decent--though not great--severance package, so we can still pay the mortgage. And my company pays for the services of an outplacement agency, so I'll have some time to figure out where to go from here.

Nonetheless, the the fact of being a 53 y.o. unemployed man who was the main breadwinner for my family (my wife is a teacher), with two kids, leads to moments of real doubt and stress. Especially in the worst job market in decades. I rely heavily on my wonderful wife and kids for support and inspiration, and try to keep a positive attitude.

It gives me some comfort to see I'm not alone, and that others in this board are asking the same questions as me--not that I would wish this situation on anyone.

I find the occasional romp in the 911 to be great therapy.

Terry

A-Men