Whenever I've found a friend, I've not liked his wife...

Zeke · 04-11-2009, 04:50 PM

....and I have no female friends. I sound like a misogynist, but I'm not. To wit, 90% of the customers for small home improvements are women. I must get along with them because traditionally I brought home well over 60% of my proposals.

But back to the male friends. Of the handful of guys that I've really enjoyed hanging with over my some 60 years, their choice of partners has never worked for me.

I guess I ought to know the answer by now, but I really don't. And, it doesn't really matter whom I've brought into the picture as my other, I still don't want to be around any of these other women.

Family is not included, but I have no, none, family left. Just my wife's.

Do women compete with their husband's friends?

TimT · 04-11-2009, 05:11 PM

Quote:

their choice of partners has never worked for me.

I question some of my close male friends choices in mates...

Then again, I am sure that they all question my significant other in private..

Strange world we live in... I've learned to accept that I can't see what other see in others (mates).. I'm polite, friendly and keep my feelings to myself

daepp · daepp's Garage

With limited exceptions, I would have to agree with you.

I am not sure what this says about me though. I get along great with my wife. However, most of the time when we gather as couples, I don't have that much to say to my friends' S.O.'s.

I have actually wondered about this - fo a while now - before I read this thread.

I do not think it is a reflection of the women in their lives - I put the blame on me, although I am not sure even why I don't necessarily spend much time with them.

There have been exceptions over the years. Women who you can esp. relate to - either intellectually you find them interesting, or there is some common bond between yours and theirs pasts.

And I have no problems relating to my wife - who is very intellectually stimulating.

Maybe, Milt, men just normally relate to other men. Unless it's their S.O. Maybe it's just God's way of keeping us out of trouble!!!

Zeke · 04-11-2009, 06:04 PM

Maybe, but I haven't been looking to isolate the others' wives. I'd just like them the STFU.

dtw · 04-11-2009, 06:14 PM

Destroyed one long-standing friendship that way. He called mine the B!$#%tch and I called his The Whore. Always kinda bugged me that I let women get in the way of a friendship, but I don't think we were headed down the same road anyway.

Fast forward a few years, and I am pretty sure I have irreparably damaged an 18 year friendship for the same reason. Damnit...

Laneco · 04-11-2009, 06:15 PM

Probably 85% of my friends are men and 15% are women. All of my close friends are men. That took a little adjusting for Steve when we first starting going out (jeez - that was two decades ago!) but after he knew me well he realized that I truly can't stand most women...

I don't mean to be a sexist pig, I just don't like the communication style. For the most part, I don't "get" a sizeable percentage of the women out there. I don't understand "games" and do no abide ineffective communication. Say what you mean, mean what you say or STFU!!!!

Can't figure them out at all in spite of my similar anatomy...

angela

BeyGon · 04-11-2009, 06:26 PM

Maybe you can't REALLY be friends with women unless you are having/have had sex with them. Just maybe.

TerryH · TerryH's Garage

In our circle all my friends like my wife more than me. Guess it averages out. lol

masraum · 04-11-2009, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laneco

Probably 85% of my friends are men and 15% are women. All of my close friends are men. That took a little adjusting for Steve when we first starting going out (jeez - that was two decades ago!) but after he knew me well he realized that I truly can't stand most women...

I don't mean to be a sexist pig, I just don't like the communication style. For the most part, I don't "get" a sizeable percentage of the women out there. I don't understand "games" and do no abide ineffective communication. Say what you mean, mean what you say or STFU!!!!

Can't figure them out at all in spite of my similar anatomy...

angela

Based on my limited knowledge of you, I'd call you a tomboy. Some folks seem to instantly picture a butch, but that's not what I mean. You seem to have some male type characteristics (how many women would make the road trip that you made in the car that you made it in?) You've posted a picture with yourself in it and you look like an attractive woman. I've always found the women that I like the most are attractive and can dress nicely and look feminine, but are also tomboys.

Girly-girls are nice to look at, but damn at all of the extra crap that goes along with them.

HardDrive · 04-11-2009, 08:36 PM

I'm Angela in a mans body.

I don't have a huge circle of friends, but most of my friends are women. It put the wife off when we were freshly married, but she knows I don't stray, and I don't ever put her on the back burner.

Hugh R · 04-11-2009, 08:48 PM

My 20 y/o son had some male friends he's known since grade school ditch him for an event or two because some girl didn't like my son. I told my son to tell his friends that you don't dump a long time male friend over what a girl thinks. Girls come and go, male friends, if treated with mutual respect last a lifetime.

Last month when I was in Boston, Providence and NYC, where I met some excellent Pelicans, I met up with two old friends; one I've know since 1st grade (50 years) and an old college roommate from 30 Y/O. In both cases, after five minutes, we were conversing like we saw each other last week.

Evans, Marv · 04-11-2009, 08:50 PM

Several of my friends have not made very good choices in their wives - in my opinion. But I just figure it's a difference in preference and they are the ones who have to deal with it, so I just keep my mouth shut and smile.

Joe Bob · Joe Bob's Garage

She hasn't met mine....but it's a good bet she won't either....

Hawktel · 04-11-2009, 09:31 PM

Most of my friends SO's like me. It irritates my friends.

I'm not going to say I like them back though.

I think it might be a somewhat gender thing. I've had friends that have lasted 30 years. Guys I went to kindergarden with. Most females I know, can't seem to keep a friend more than a few weeks/months/years.

cantdrv55 · 04-11-2009, 09:38 PM

A bigger problem would be if you liked their wives. That'd get you in trouble quick.

m21sniper · 04-11-2009, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milt

....and I have no female friends. I sound like a misogynist, but I'm not. To wit, 90% of the customers for small home improvements are women. I must get along with them because traditionally I brought home well over 60% of my proposals.

But back to the male friends. Of the handful of guys that I've really enjoyed hanging with over my some 60 years, their choice of partners has never worked for me.

I guess I ought to know the answer by now, but I really don't. And, it doesn't really matter whom I've brought into the picture as my other, I still don't want to be around any of these other women.

Family is not included, but I have no, none, family left. Just my wife's.

Do women compete with their husband's friends?

Stop meeting their wives.

look 171 · 04-12-2009, 01:49 AM

I hang out with some friends from grade school til this day. Now that circle had grown larger and it includes their brothers, sisters and their husbands. We have talked about this and we just can't be stupid boys around our wifes. Its not that they are not fun to be with, but we just act different. It's just not the same, or as fun. It isn't that I don't look forward to dinner, it just that I wish their wifes didn't come. They all feel the same way I am sure. I really just don't have much to say to them. only once in a while, something really interesting come up them its fun. Then, one of us have to a hero and try to prove a point and fcuk it up.

livi · 04-12-2009, 03:30 AM

The male friends are picked and chosen. Their wives are just random individuals. I suppose, statistically, if starting out with a good female friend, the chance of liking her husband is not that much better. Of course, their is the inherent competition part. The wives presumably like to keep tabs and have a certain amount of control over their husbands. Any time their husbands spend with friends is time and money their wives would prefer to keep for themselves. Hanging out with other men, particularly single men, also raises the risk of their husbands meeting other females.

Its basically, like most behavior, standard evolutionary behavior characteristics.

Isabo · 04-12-2009, 05:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laneco

Probably 85% of my friends are men and 15% are women. All of my close friends are men. That took a little adjusting for Steve when we first starting going out (jeez - that was two decades ago!) but after he knew me well he realized that I truly can't stand most women...

I don't mean to be a sexist pig, I just don't like the communication style. For the most part, I don't "get" a sizeable percentage of the women out there. I don't understand "games" and do no abide ineffective communication. Say what you mean, mean what you say or STFU!!!!

Can't figure them out at all in spite of my similar anatomy...

angela

Me too!
With my girlfriends, worse possible scenario is usually indifference to their SOs. With male friends I'm often very dubious about their choice of woman.
One of my delights was when one of my best friends (male) met one of my best friends (female) and they hit off big time. I then started asking myself why I'd never thought of introducing them.

lm6y · 04-12-2009, 06:04 AM

I don't think I could stand not being able to get along with my friends wives.

I only have 5 REAL male friends. These are the guys that would, without question, help me bury the body at 4:00 A.M. in the rain. It just so happens that their wives are the only 5 female friends I have.

I treat them all the same, and I pull no punches with any of them. I can be myself around them, no games, no fake niceties. I expect, and get, the same from them. Friends will tell you what you want to hear, but true friends will tell you the truth.

As far as friends go, I'm a quality as opposed to quantity kind of guy.