Kreg

Take a circular saw and cut the 8' piece into 8 12"x12" squares. Throw 7 of those into the fireplace.
Take the last piece and balance it on top of the door.
Now go get the phonebook and find the nearest lumber yard.

On the way out the piece of wood on the door should fall and leave a nice bump on your head. That will serve as a reminder that you can't make an 8'6" length of board out of an 8' piece of wood.

Unless you have a wood stretcher.
:D

Tim, don't take this the wrong way, but you're freakin' insane!!! Wow, serious workmanship there. Very cool! Thanks for the pics.

Thanks, this thread will be very educational if nothing else which is fantastic.

Hilarious! Yeah, it's just sooo easy to be lazy when there's a HD less than a mile away, a Lowes less than 3 miles away, and the nearest lumber yard (that I know about) is 15-20 miles away.

I considered trying to find the right size and the slacked out of it with "I can make it work."

3/4" pine? How much longer? I gotta agree with JR's suggestion. Spend $99 or ?? instead of buying a longer piece of pine board? Uh, no.

Sherwood

+1 on a different lumber yard.
Or just leave a 6" gap at the bottom/floor, no one ever looks there and if they do it'll be a conversation piece?

the duct tape pic was LOL!

here is the problem

wood is made of a bundle of straws - tiny ones

when you try to glue any wood end to end - the straws absorb the glue -- they suck it away from the joint by capillary action -- so the joint is weak or worthless

if you use an expanding type glue, a non-wood glue this will be minimized

if you stick something in holes cut into either end and then glue that, then the biscuit or dowel is glued to each board by being glued to the sides of all those little tubes on each board.

I too would find the right board - then the grain will line up.

Yes, I should have gotten the right size lumber, but I didn't. Thanks for the suggestions. At least now I've got a cool tool for future stuff.

Next time find a real lumberyard. HD or Lowes are a joke for lumber, you're paying more for inferior quality, especially when it comes to hardwood. 15-20 miles is nothing compared to the hassle involved.

To the original question, I would also vote for the pocket hole (kreg). My father-in-law builds cabinets, he uses pocket holes for all of his face-frames and much of his other joining. But none of the listed methods will work well without uniform planed and edged boards. Assuming you don't have a planer and edger, just go buy a new board.