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-   -   Rough 2 Weeks, Rant..... (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/489067-rough-2-weeks-rant.html)

Racerbvd 08-01-2009 01:06 PM

Rough 2 Weeks, Rant.....
 
Well, it has been a very rough 2 weeks, as some of you know, I lost a good friend & entertainer. In the 20 years that I knew & worked with him, I had never seen any of his kids at a show (3 live in Atlanta, one currently in DC) they would say they would be at some of the big ones, but never show, it always broke his heart.. Well, last week, I learned what kind of people the really are, and it was very saddening.. The oldest lives in DC, said he didn't have the money to get, we get him a ticket and a place to stay for a few days. Since none of the boys could take the time to come visit him while he was alive, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that it took 4 days for them to get to town.. Well, after picking up the one we flew in, having him driven around and setting up a funeral home so we could get the ball rolling as paper work was needed for the VA cemetery (he was the 1st Black band leader in the US Army) and knowing that he didn't have allot of money (he literally gave it away to help other musicians, young & old, he was a Pure Musician, that was all he ever wanted to be) so the owner of the funeral home (his wife run a charity to help kids, and our guy spent a lot of time teaching there as well as giving tickets to shows so these kids could be there) said he would do it at dead cost. So far, so good, well, we have everything going well, then one of his ex wives and the other kids show up, now she has bragged about how successful these 2 boys are in the past, and the first thing they did was start calling people in his book and telling them they didn't have the money to bury him, and were telling people twice the needed amount of the actual cost:eek: They even called the city to try and get them to pay for it.. Then started telling people (remember, 2 of the somes do have pretty good jobs & one is married to a family worth millions) that the funeral wasn't going to happen as they didn't have the money (FYI, it was only $2,500, I said it was dead cost) unless "we" raised the money.. Of course at the last minute, they came up with it. Then at the funeral, the 3rd ex wive is going on TV telling everyone that they were still married, putting on a big BS show while asking how the family can make money off his death... OK, we have a major venue offer a location for all his old pictures and trinkets (this guy loved to share the things he had from close to 70 years of entertaing including a few Gold Records James Brown & pix of him playing with everyone from the 50s, 60s & 70s....) and the family would have control. The local Historical Society was willing to help with everything, family was to have a meeting with both the venue & Historical Society. They turned around and left town to get a truck to clean out the place so now, most likely will just trash what they can't e-bay and the memory of their father, his wishes (he wanted his thing to be shared, that was always his wish) are not what he wanted. After they left, we found out that the son we flew down from DC had a very large insurance settlement a few years back(like a lottery sized one) the other brother was staying at the Omni hotel, yet all were playng the broke card to get everyone else to pick up their tabs. If you don't think enough of me while I'm alive to visit or see me perform, don't bother after I'm dead.. My reward for helping, lied too and conned.... Of course finding out today that 2 other good friends have their wives in the hospital isn't making it any easier...

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to vent...

bell 08-01-2009 01:15 PM

You know what I would do.....lay into them and blow up in their faces, you're never going to see them again so get it off your chest and lay it on the line how disgracefull they are being.
Then close the book, and have a toast to him in your own way to honor him without the non-caring family......
It'll get better byron.....

TGTIW 08-01-2009 01:54 PM

Some people are just ****ty. Comes with the victim mentality.

syncroid 08-01-2009 02:00 PM

Hang in there Byron. I hope things take a turn for the plus side for you.

m21sniper 08-01-2009 02:07 PM

What bell said.

oldE 08-01-2009 03:25 PM

Byron,

It is well said that we choose our friends but are stuck with relations.

In the long run the real hurt they did in lying to you and others was to themselves. You know what kind of man their Father was and were glad to know him. You also know what kind of man you are and I suspect are proud of that. Those things are what really count.

You put out the effort you did because you are the person you are. You were honoring your friend. That the family did not come up to your standards of behavior is not a mark against you.

I am sorry they disappointed you and hurt the memory of your friend in some way.

Best of luck to your other friends' wives.

Keep your own path.
Les

LWJ 08-01-2009 04:49 PM

Try to let it go. Karma cuts both ways. These sort of people get some really tough paybacks.

DanielDudley 08-02-2009 04:24 AM

Remember your friend, and forget about his family. None of us are perfect.

Rick V 08-02-2009 04:34 AM

You know the truth of your friend, You know how he lived, you know the fiber he was made of, remember him that way, and take only the actions that he would have done.
It is sad when people allow their relationships to fall into simple possessions and dollar figures.
Remember your friend in your heart, speak of him in that way. as for the family, close the door. They are not worth the effort of the blood pressure, nor the air it takes to tell the story. People like that die alone.

Racerbvd 08-02-2009 02:33 PM

Thanks guys, they are gone, but may come back for the memorial/Tribute at the Jacksonville Landing..
http://www.jacksonvillelanding.com/events

It should be a big deal, the Landing is donating the venue & production, many entertainers are donating their time, as many of us are.

Quote:

lay into them and blow up in their faces,

I wanted too, but promised that I wouldn't..

Quote:

Some people are just ****ty. Comes with the victim mentality.

You nailed that one.. At the funeral they had the Preacher tell everyone that if their name is not listed to speak, don't get up...:eek:
At the hospital one of them said he noticed that all the people who showed up to help Teddy were white, and that he would have to rethink his opinion on white people:eek:

Thanks again guys!!!!!
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1249252366.jpg

lm6y 08-02-2009 02:44 PM

Can't help with the family, but you should know that ALL of us would be proud to have friend like you to take care of the loose ends when we are gone. Seems to me, he was lucky to be able to call you friend.

David 08-02-2009 03:01 PM

Sorry to hear about your friend. I'm sure you'll handle it the way he would have wanted.

masraum 08-02-2009 05:30 PM

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onewhippedpuppy 08-02-2009 05:57 PM

Greed can do amazing things to people. Really all you can do is the right thing, regardless of how crappy others may be. Personally, I would have been hard pressed not to tell them off, but that sort of mentality is a huge pet peeve of mine.

Hawktel 08-02-2009 06:49 PM

Give Karma a chance man. That will come back around on them.

pwd72s 08-03-2009 08:06 AM

Just a sad story, Byron...Thankfully, you won't have to tolerate these people for long.

dentist90 08-03-2009 09:14 AM

The greedy, selfish kids may take all his worldly stuff.
But they CAN"T take away your love and memories of your friend Teddy. In the end, that's the most valuable asset he left.

rammstein 08-03-2009 10:55 AM

I have huge issues letting things like this go. I hope you can manage to let it go, but I understand how hard it is.


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