Why men don't write advice columns
 

Stop me if you've heard this one before.

Dear Walter,
I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual.. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor's daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila

-------------------

from the advice column:

Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps.
Walter

Yes. I think it was the first thing someone e-mailed me. In 1989.

Doesn't change the fact that it is bloody hilarious.

Just think...you didn't even exist in 1989. I have jokes older than you. ;)

Which means you need to try to not scare off the old ones. ;)

:confused: Huh?

If you have jokes older than me you need to try to not scare off the guys that post the old ones.

Umm...err...OK. http://www.corvetteforum.com/zeroimg...es/leaving.gif

Hmmm. First email? That would be memorable.

Sherwood

Yes. I brought home my new Commodore C64 from SoftWarehouse (now known as CompUSA), popped in the included "free AOL" 3.5" floppy, fired it up and received my very first e-mail...which consisted of that joke.

I must have missed that one. In fact, in '89, I had Northstar CPM computer with no idea what email was. With only the spec manual, I stared at a blinking cursor for days not knowing what to do next.

Sherwood

I wish I had a Commodore 64, that would fetch a nice price on Ebay

Updated for Pelican 09...

Dear Sheila:
Do you have pictures of the neighbor?

Walter

Revised note to Sheila:

Dear Sheila:
Do you have pictures of the neighbor and the address?

Oh, and btw, how's the car doing?

Walter

Ummmm, there was no email (mainstream) in 1989.............

You know, that advice column guy didn't even consider ignition. That lady should check for spark as well.

AOL 3.5 on a C64 in 1989?

I don't think so. Memory is a fallible thing.

http://www.brighthub.com/office/collaboration/articles/4107.aspx

Yup, no emailing on a C64.

Not a computer geek but had one and also vividly remember the beginning of consumer internet. There was quite a long break between the two.

C-64's used 5'' flopies in a separate housed drive

I had a vic-20 before the C-64 and a C128 after

vic-20 was the tape drive deal right?

Yes it is.

And reading is fundamental. I stated AOL 3.5"...as in 3.5" floppy.

There was if you were connected with ARPANET...

Sure there was...if you modified it. I was the first one to modify my C64 (which I called a "C65") to send/receive e-mail. Had I known this joke would have been my first e-mail, I would have delayed that modification a few years until the "choking Doberman" stories became mainstream.

http://cgi.ebay.com/commadore-64-compter-system-w-power-supply_W0QQitemZ310165029826QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_ DefaultDomain_0?hash=item483746c3c2&_trksid=p3286. c0.m14

I don't think they are worth much at all...

Ha ha, sorry. I'd forgotten about the 3 1/2 inch floppies. In fact I've nearly forgotten about floppy disks at all.

you didn't forget 3.5" floppies in C64's because there were none.


as was stated they used a 5 1/4" floppy (true 'floppy') disk. You could also, IIRC, use the old style tape drive with them.

as i recall the disk drive was model '5141'?

Well i might have to eat a small helping of crow here. Looked this up and turns out a 3.5" drive was AVAILABLE for the C64 though it appears to have been released after the 128 and been targeted for that model.

Drives were 1541 (5 1/4) and 1581 (3 1/2). The Wiki page has interesting info on this stuff.

My dad worked at IBM and brought all kinds of stuff home, smuggled out of the plant in his lunch pail. I had 3.5" floppy drives stacked to the ceiling. I adapted one to my C65. He would also bring home reams of green bar tractor feed paper with nothing but 1's and 0's printed on it. I asked him "WTF is all this?", to which he replied "STFU and get me a beer. You can use the back to color on".

My next door friend Bill Gates (we called him "Billy Four Eyes") would come over and stare endlessly at the 1's and 0's while I was coloring. He asked if he could take some of the papers home. I said "no prob, take as much as you want".

Bastard won't even return my calls these days.

AOL used to be called 'Quantum Link', which did run on the Commodore 64 and 128. The first version of AOL that ran on DOS, came out in 1991.

Nah...Steve Case lived next door, too (the other side). I dug through his trash and found loads of AOL floppies that were marked "Beta"...

99% of all fuel injection problems are ignition-related ;)