Office Bathroom etiquette

[Z-man]

Ok - I do not ask for much from folks who I work with, and consequently, those who I share the bathroom with. However, there are some common sense things folks really should do:

1. This morning, I had to use the bathroom. So I'm standing at the urnial doing my business, when another worker comes in and I hear him talking. He's not talking to me, since I do not understand the language he's speaking. Then I spot the phone earpiece. So, mid-converstation, he 'pulls right up' and does his business. And he's going talking and talking and talking. He could have been twirling a pen in his hand, for all the person on the other line knew. Finishes up, barely washes his hands, and out the door, still continuing on the conversation. And let's not even start with the folks taking a dump who answer their phones while 'downloading...' If you are in the bathroom, let it go to voicemail. OR, wait a little and start your call AFTER. There is no need to multi-task in the bathroom!

2. Wash your hands. You just touched your ding-dong, or wiped your butt. You probably have hemorrhoids or jock itch. We don't want any part of that -- thank you every much. No, I do not want to shake your hand.

3. OK - I get that you are a germaphobe, and that you will use a paper towel to open the door after you have thoroughly washed your hands. Great - I appreciate your efforts in stopping the spread of germs. But instead of dropping said towel on the bathroom floor as you exit, take it to the nearest garbage can and dispose of it there! You don't want other's germs, and I don't want yours.

4. This is not the library, so don't go strolling into the bathroom with the NY Times under your arm hoping for a nice quiet reading time. Poop, and get off the throne.

5. While I'm in the bathroom, a simple, "How are you?" "Day is almost over.." is fine. A disortation on how your mother-in-law's gallbladder problems are leading you and your wife to refinance your home to try to pay her medical bills is a bit too much for me. You may enjoy the wonderous order eminating from stall #3, but I much rather prefer the smell of fresh cut flowers. Roses in particular. And I am not sure what the gentlmen who is currently occupying stall #3 ate, but it certainly wasn't roses. The bathroom isn't a library, or a starbucks, or a social gathering place.

6. Washing hands are fine. I can even see those who have ADA-OCD. (American Dental Association's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and must brush your teeth on the hour, every hour. But a sink in a bathroom at work is not where one should do his primary hygene care. I've seen folks washing their FEET in the work sink. I believe there is some religious significance to that act, and I can respect that. But how about you fill up a bucket next time, instead of using that sink to wash your itchy and scratchy feet?

I don't ask for too much, do I?!?

-Z-man.

[Super_Dave_D]

Hey do you work in my office??? Nothing is more discusting that the guy talking on the phone with one hand and holding his @&$&@ with the other!!!

How about the fake hand washers??? What's up with that?? If you are gonna go through the motions then just wash them!!!

[Super_Dave_D]

Btw...it's not a germaphobe to use a paper towel to open the door. It's To combat the sick bizastards that don't wash their hands and put thier penis hands on the handle.

[rammstein]

One of the top guys at my company doesn't wash after peeing. I hate him.


However, reading on the toilet - I don't see what the problem is. Now, if the bathroom is full then you need to get up and let the next guy in. Also, if you are sitting there a courtesy flush is always appropriate rather than letting it stagnate while you read the paper. But... for some of us who get bombarded with work the entire day in our offices, the toilet can be a lone fortress of solitude, where you can, for a moment, pretend that you are a human who has his own needs and wants, rather than a slave with a neck-tie leash and a pastel-grey holding cell that they call a cubicle. If I enter the bathroom and it is empty, I might just sit down on the toilet and have a few minutes of meditation.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by Super_Dave_D

Btw...it's not a germaphobe to use a paper towel to open the door. It's To combat the sick bizastards that don't wash their hands and put thier penis hands on the handle.

Yes, I'm far from being a germ-o-phobe. I figure that's why I'm rarely ever sick. But I don't want to hold another guys Johnson or wipe someone else's butt, since so many folks don't wash, I use something else to touch the outgoing door handle.

Yes, I used to work in a very diverse environment, we had folks from Africa, Trinidad, Pakistan, India, various Asian countries, Russia, etc....

IIRC, Muslims are supposed to wash their hands, feet, and face 5 times a day. We had folks that washed their feet in the bathroom (big bathroom, 6 or 8 sinks). At one point, I guess someone complained, so they put a sign over one of the sinks "this sink is not for washing your hands". I guess that made it the designated foot sink. That's the only complaint above that doesn't bother me.

Yes, I agree with the various points that Zoltan made.

[Dueller]

This one for you, Zman....

[Dueller]

"Didn't yo mama teach you to wash your hands after peeing?"

"Nah...but she did teach me not to piss on my hands."

[RWebb]

take a camera in next time & snap some photos of the egregious behavior - post it on youtube
(you can be stealthy if you use a cell phone with camera & pretend to be talking on it)

re the trash can - there should be one next to the door -- these doors usually auto-close, so if not he has no ability to walk back to a can; sounds like your setup may be different

since I have the microbial knowledge of a biologist, I'm pretty careful in public restrooms - if there is no trash can within my very very non-NBA target distance I WILL toss the paper towel on the floor

and BTW the chance of disease spread is a lot less in an office bathroom than in a public one - but yes it is still high, esp. for flu or rhinoviruses ('colds')

[rattlsnak]

Originally Posted by rammstein

Also, if you are sitting there a courtesy flush is always appropriate rather than letting it stagnate while you read the paper.

ding ding ding.. I always thought courtesy flushes were common knowledge, but apparantly not. Dump, flush, repeat...

[Super_Dave_D]

Originally Posted by RWebb

take a camera in next time & snap some photos of the egregious behavior - post it on youtube
(you can be stealthy if you use a cell phone with camera & pretend to be talking on it)

ahhhhhhh not a good idea, they last thing you want is to be caught taking pics in the bathroom - LOL!

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by Dueller

"Didn't yo mama teach you to wash your hands after peeing?"

"Nah...but she did teach me not to piss on my hands."

I had a co-worker actually say that one time when I called him a pig for not washing his hands. IIRC he was digging in a box of donuts after a trip to the restroom (without washing) and I had to call him out on it.

I informed him it wasn't the pee that was the issue. It was his handling of his junk and not washing afterward that grossed everyone out.
I could tell by the look on his face that he had never thought of that.

[rammstein]

You should have taken his donut, rubbed your balls on it, and given it back to him.

[sammyg2]

A customer at a restaurant said to his waiter:
Hey I noticed all of you waiters carry a spoon around in your shirt pocket. What's that all about?

the waiter explained that the restaurant owner had hired an efficiency consultant and after a whole bunch of research he determined that the most often-dropped utensil was a spoon so if all the waiters carried an extra spoon it would save 8.6 minutes per shift.
The customer said OK, I guess that makes sense.
But I have another question. I see you also have a piece of string hanging out of the fly on your trousers, what's up with that?

The waiter explained that the efficiency expert also determined that 16 minutes per shift was spent washing our hands after using the restroom. He told us that if we tied a string around our willy we could pull it out without touching it so we wouldn't have to wash our hands and we'd save time.
The customer said OK, but how do you tuck it away after you're done going?

the waiter said "I don't know about everyone else but I just use the spoon."

[Schrup]

I have only one rule; No punching the clown (pooping) in my bathroom. If you have to, use the locker room.

[sammyg2]

Okay, one more office restroom story:
many years ago I was a young supervisor at a refinery and one of my responsibilities was facilities maintenance (buildings, grounds, streets, utilities etc).

I got a call that a toilet in the admin building was clogged. I didn't take care of that sort of thing personally so I called the plumber. He showed up and went to work on it.
Later he told me he had to remove the entire toilet and then re-install it. Seems someone had an "accident" and tried to flush a pair of men's boxer shorts.

This was in the section of the admin building where the executive offices were located, it would be considered rare if anyone else used that restroom except for the top brass.

I was tempted to tell that story and let it get around the plant but figured that would be a CLM (career-limiting move).

[Talewinds]

Uhhhhhhh, your definition of punching the clown, and my definition of punching the clown are somewhat.... different.

Urban Dictionary: punching the clown

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by Talewinds

Uhhhhhhh, your definition of punching the clown, and my definition of punching the clown are somewhat.... different.

Urban Dictionary: punching the clown

ROFLMAO
Re: Roughing up the Suspect

[Z-man]

Originally Posted by sammyg2

I had a co-worker actually say that one time when I called him a pig for not washing his hands. IIRC he was digging in a box of donuts after a trip to the restroom (without washing) and I had to call him out on it.

I informed him it wasn't the pee that was the issue. It was his handling of his junk and not washing afterward that grossed everyone out.
I could tell by the look on his face that he had never thought of that.

Yep. Technically, urine is just about 100% sterile. It is contact with the surrounding areas and later contact with others which concerns me...


Seems I've hit a nerve in this subject of office bathrooms...
-Z-man.

[dhoward]

Our bathrooms smell like curry....

[gassy]

Somebody on here posted a story about a guy talking on his cell phone in the stall next to him while he was dumping--one of the funniest things I ever read. Anyone?