do you tell a (very) good friend that his girlfriend is poison?

vash · vash's Garage

or mind your own business? my buddy isnt the brightest on his own. we managed to slowly help him fix his credit, got him to save for his future...stuff like that.

he has been with a chick for a longtime. she is a horrible person. she charged up her card, for his gifts, and made him transfer all the balances over to his (new) cards. he is in the hole, AGAIN!
they went of visit his mom in san francisco, and pulled out a tape measure to survey the living space...she said, "when we get this house....i want to know what furniture will fit".
over dinner ( i was there) she said with a straight face; "i can channel dead people. i channeled (my friend)'s dad, and he said he should have the shopping center"

the list is long..

they want me to come and visit, but i cannot stomach it. i always end up paying for dinner anyways.

i know...none of my business.

porsche4life · porsche4life's Garage

"Very good friend".

There is your answer....

kaisen · 10-09-2009, 11:55 AM

Unless you can somehow communicate with his 'other brain', you should let it be. And if you CAN, we don't want to know how you did it.

Just help him through the bumpy ride ahead, until he figures it out on his own, or asks for your opinion. Even then you should only agree to what he offers up on his own.

Seahawk · 10-09-2009, 11:58 AM

From your posts, you seem like such a good dude (once again, dude was in my lexicon before most of the posters on this board were a gleam).

Walk away.

One of my very good friends from HS married the exact wrong woman, we all knew it...like a huge red pimple on a forehead we could all see it, he couldn't.

It ended poorly. We are all still friends.

Ride the wave, be there when it beach breaks.

svandamme · svandamme's Garage

for some time i had a friend(rich cousin) who kept going back to the same gold digging chick.
He's somewhat of a sexmaniac, and she drove him nuts by only giving it to him on a very low frequency...he'de break up,, screw around a bit, then always end up back with her...

I referred to her as "the Flue"...

"Oh, you got The Flue.... again? sorry to hear that.It's a nasty virus, you should get inoculated next time"

creaturecat · 10-09-2009, 12:03 PM

Got a pic of her, the poisonous one?

911boost · 911boost's Garage

Paul's advice is spot on. I made the mistake of trying to get between a good friend and his poontang. It ended our friendship basically. He took her side, even though we had been friends for much longer. She burned me at the stake since she saw me as a threat.

I'm much more laid back now. Eventually your friend will see it, if not, you can't stress over it.

I'd stay close to him, and interact with them, stomach her, until he comes to his senses or she changes. It sucks, I know, and isn't easy, but it really is the right thing to do.

My two cents.

Shaun @ Tru6 · 10-09-2009, 12:15 PM

I hope you take this as a compliment Cliff, but why does a smart guy like you have such a dumb friend? Though I'm sure all my friends wonder the same thing about themselves.

Walk away.

vash · vash's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaun 84 Targa

I hope you take this as a compliment Cliff, but why does a smart guy like you have such a dumb friend? Though I'm sure all my friends wonder the same thing about themselves.

Walk away.

he lived next to me at school. dorm life. that time we were all in the same boat. drinking, partying, smoking...trying to get the ladies to play with our.....

i grew out of it. him, not so much.

i too, believe Paul's advice is the right one. thanks.

masraum · 10-09-2009, 12:40 PM

The odds of anyone listening to an outside give advice about a partner being bad are very, very small. In lots of cases, even if the friend is eventually proven correct, sometimes friendships are lost. It's unfortunate.

Gogar · 10-09-2009, 12:50 PM

+1 You're going to have to be quiet and wait it out and hope for the best.

Hopefully you'll be able to make "remember when" jokes about it in the future.

Rikao4 · 10-09-2009, 01:06 PM

if your not married..
do her ..
sell him the pic's

Rika

kidding.. let them be..

m21sniper · 10-09-2009, 01:17 PM

Is she hot?

targa911S · 10-09-2009, 02:01 PM

You don't. He will find out without you soon enough. Most likely if you try and tell him you will piss him off.

gr8fl4porsche · gr8fl4porsche's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by targa911S

You don't. He will find out without you soon enough. Most likely if you try and tell him you will piss him off.

yep

Dixie · Dixie's Garage

Don't say anything. You're in a no-win position. Pussy always trumps friend. It's a bit like rock-paper-scissors.

Heel n Toe · 10-09-2009, 02:12 PM

Vash, I don't think there would be any ill effects if you met him for a beer sometime and said something non-threatening like, "Bro, you know how much I value our friendship and I would never want to do anything that would jeopardize that, so please cut me a break if what I'm about to say bugs you in any way. Some of this stuff with "X" where she seems to be maneuvering after cash, etc. is kind of scary to me. It's red flags for me because I don't want to see you used in that way. If you ever want to bend my ear about it, feel free, and that's all I'm gonna say about it, but just be careful, okay?"

scottmandue · 10-09-2009, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt. Carrera

Don't say anything. You're in a no-win position. Pussy always trumps friend. It's a bit like rock-paper-scissors.

For some reason that statement really cracks me up!

Unfortunately I have to agree with most of the advice here... hoes over bros....

Superman · 10-09-2009, 02:20 PM

Yup, Paul's advice is spot-on. I did not listen when others were trying to tell me what you'd like to tell your friend. A quarter-century later, the misery ended and my new life began. Everyone knew what I did not, and I was not going to substitute their judgement for mine.

rammstein · 10-09-2009, 02:27 PM

Yup- pussy always wins. You can be honest if he asks a question, but if he doesn't ask, zip it.