Stress in a fire fight…fear and panic

[MotoSook]

We have a 19 month old who hasn’t figured out how to sleep through the night yet. That’s another story. A couple of nights ago the baby woke the wife and me up a few minutes before 5 AM. We settled him down in our bed with some comforting and a bottle of milk. While he was sucking on the bottle, I tossed and turned fighting to fall back to sleep without success. So I softly slid off the bed and quietly grabbed pants, a shirt and socks to dress downstairs in the living room so I wouldn’t upset the baby and mama. I figured I’d get some work done in the shop behind the house before the house erupted with kids as it usually does on weekend mornings.

When I got down to the living room, I switched on the television to keep me company while I got dressed and set the coffee machine to start brewing. Once I got the coffee machine started I switch the TV to the Military Channel which was showing Ultimate Weapons – Best Close Quarter Combat Weapon. I caught the tail end of that episode the night before, so I wasn’t too interested in watching the last few weapons they featured. It was a good episode, but my eyes grew tired and soon I was snoozing away on the couch.

When I woke I heard something in the back patio and without moving I turned my eyes to the rear door. The drapes in front of the sliding glass door were pulled open earlier as I would exit out the back door after I fixed myself a hot cup of coffee. As my view centered on the back door, a dark shape, contrasted between the early morning sky, moved quickly out of view. My heart raced and I sat up on the couch and shook myself to full alert. As I stood up to make silent progress to the door to survey the backyard, a figure appeared at the rear door and looked in. If my heart was racing, it was now a bomb going off in my chest. In the excitement I somehow made out a figure at the shop door appearing to force open the door. I don’t know what happened in the few minutes immediately after this, but I found myself upstairs in the bedroom to retrieve my loaded pistol.

I have never been so panicked as I was then. I don’t ever recall being so panicked. I’ve been in some tense situations having escaped in the middle of the night from a country that was looking to execute my father and me. I’ve been in some tense situations growing up in a rough town where I often found myself amidst gang violence. This was different. This was protecting my family while being trapped inside my house. This was me being a victim with potentially the ultimate negative outcome. All the bad outcomes and all the ways things could go wrong ran through my head with lightening speed. I have always thought that if the time comes to defend my family in a situation like this, that I would be more calm. Never did I think I’d be panicked as I was.

The wife woke up, and annoyed she asked what I was doing. I yelled at her in a hushed tone, “there’s some people in the backyard!” Without waiting for a reply, I grabbed the pistol and hurried down the stairs. The bottom of the stairs terminates with me facing the front door. As I made the last couple of steps off the stairs, I saw figures coming towards the front door through the small glass panes along the side of the front door. I side stepped to the left to get out of view and slowly positioned myself to see out the side panes without being detected.

Coming towards the door was a man who wasn’t making a friendly house call. Behind him at the corner of the front garage, I could see another figure standing guard with a rifle in hand and looking up and down the street. Without thinking, I took aim through the side glass panes ready to empty all 16 rounds if I had too.

I sat up on the couch with my heart pounding and the TV talking about tanks. The coffee machine was beeping to alert me it was at the end of the brew cycle. It was a dream, but I was still extremely panicked. My first thought was to look in the backyard which was now almost at full light. But I knew it was just a dream so I sat on the couch for a while. After my heart rate decreased, I shook off the last of the strange feeling and went about my day.

Later that night I found it difficult to sleep. Was I prepared? Would I be so panicked in a real situation that demands deadly action. Eventually, I worked through the doubts and started to wonder what other folks would do. In Psychology 101 I learned that fear can make you run or stand to fight. I was scared as hell in my dreams, but I fought. The fact that I had to protect my family heightened my fear and panic. I wondered how the guys on this board would react? We all think or would like to think we are prepared, but few of us have been in such a deadly situation. What would you do?

The uneasiness of the dream still lingers.

[legion]

I've had that dream a few times. It's not a fun one.

Add to it we always keep a box fan running in the bedroom (so I'm never sure if I really hear something) and we have a cat that like to knock things off of high places (like the top of the fridge, or the top of dressers).

[peppy]

My wife and I both have had that dream. It is disturbing.

With a toddler in the house we have had to lock up all of our guns.

[legion]

One of the opening scenes in the movie "Couples Retreat" has a scene where Vince Vaughn hears a noise downstairs. He opens his nighstand to reveal a GunVault safe. He does the combination (there is a button for each fingertip) to reveal a semi-auto handgun. He removes the handgun, inserts a magazine, racks the slide, and proceeds downstairs...

It was actually kind of nice to see responsible gun ownership in a movie for once...

[dhoward]

This is why a little friendly competition, as well as range time is a terrific tool to improve your confidence under pressure. While certainly not life or death, shooting under duress in a safe environment helps sort out your thinking process. It's amazing to me after all of these years that a shot timer beep can still start the adrenalin flowing.

[legion]

Well, I am signed up for a home defense pistol course in April...

[The Gaijin]

Good outdoor lighting, video and a modern ADT alarm system helps loads with piece of mind as well.

[911boost]

Soukos, I would delete this thread.

[MotoSook]

Why? It's the telling of a dream. Did you read it to the end?

Soukos, I would delete this thread.

[911boost]

I did read it until the end, but in the future, if something happens, and you have to use deadly force, it won't do you any good if you have been telling "stories".

[MotoSook]

I see what you're saying (and appreciate the thought), but this isn't one of those "I'm a badass and will shoot anything that moves" story. This is about fear and the psychology of dealing with fear, panic and deadly force.

Would a jury convict an author of a thriller involving the same topic, biased by a book?

[Noah930]

Originally Posted by Soukus

Would a jury convict an author of a thriller involving the same topic, biased by a book?

Sharon Stone got away with it in Basic Instinct.

[MotoSook]

But she's blonde and foxy.

[Rot 911]

In this scenario, you would be going to jail.

[Rikao4]

I think K is thinking..
you may have just shoot 2 cops..
in the hood due to some ? activity reported by your neighbor..
they are not really threatening you yet..
and ( you can't really ID them) in your dream..
don't fret over fear or fight..
it happens fast..but being able to think on your feet is needed..
in both situations..

Rika

[MBAtarga]

Originally Posted by Soukus

But she's blonde and foxy.

and wearing no undies!

[MotoSook]

I think the basic instinct (pun intended) is to protect. With the rush of fear and panic there are few folks that could be so level headed as to say, "wait, that armed mean looking man coming to the door means my family no harm."

"His buddy standing guard with an assault rifle is harmless, and the two guys in the backyard are just lost."

I'm of the opinion that there is no training that can replicated the kind of panic and fear that one might experience in the above scenario.

On a legal tangent- if one is fearful for the life of his family while gunmen are charging the house with no way to safely get everyone out of the siuation, does one have to wait for the bad guys to break through and fire off a few shots before taking defensive action? It seems silly that one has to put oneself in the worst defensive position before actually taken defensive action. I know. The law isn't always sensible.

But in the scenario above, how many here would risk the death of their loved one by waiting for when it is legal to use deadly force knowing you are out numbered. It's probably not a real possibility, but the fear and panic may not provide time to reason all legal outcome.

[MotoSook]

Originally Posted by Rikao4

I think K is thinking..
you may have just shoot 2 cops..
in the hood due to some ? activity reported by your neighbor..
they are not really threatening you yet..
and ( you can't really ID them) in your dream..
don't fret over fear or fight..
it happens fast..but being able to think on your feet is needed..
in both situations..

Rika

Good point about the front door guys being LEO, and about positive ID before acting.

In the dream, these guys were a gang of of guerilla type...not what one might expect my local PD to look like. But there is always the potential...and the lesson is to let reason overcome fear and panic.

How many here would reason this out in the situ?

Also, not to pick on Kurt, but how did you (Kurt) know that the guy shooting at you as the door was closing, was not a LEO backing out of the building while someone was shooting at him from the conference room or what ever was oposite the door? You shot at the guy, but were you positive he was the bad guy?

[MotoSook]

Originally Posted by MBAtarga

and wearing no undies!

I've tried that with the wife when I get into trouble, but it never works.

[Noah930]

Originally Posted by Soukus

I'm of the opinion that there is no training that can replicated the kind of panic and fear that one might experience in the above scenario.

Very true--nothing can replicate the "real thing." But there are ways to stack the odds in your favor as much as possible, when the real thing happens.

This is why a little friendly competition, as well as range time is a terrific tool to improve your confidence under pressure. While certainly not life or death, shooting under duress in a safe environment helps sort out your thinking process.

There are psychological studies that try to explain why this is true. Obviously there's the practice makes perfect portion of going to a gun range (or practicing free throws or putting on a green). But like you mention, there's a psychological aspect of it, too.

I don't have the reference handy right now, but there was a study in which researchers looked at pool players. From a distance the authors surveyed people playing pool. The pool players were either labeled "good" pool players or "bad" pool players. Then, the authors had accomplices walk up and obviously watch those same pool players. The "good" pool players got better. The "bad" pool players got worse. The conclusion was that having observers raises your psychological stimulation. Those who are good at something will actually allow that increased psychological stimulation to improve their performance. Those who aren't so good get overwhelmed by the added stimulation and perform at a worse level. When stressed, each cohort would do what was natural for them.