Having children at age 39 and 41

[MT930]

Our Kids are our greatest accomplishment. We had them after most of our friends had them mid 30's. I can not imagine life with out them. They grow up fast.

Do it !

[Seahawk]

My wife is nine years younger than me: we had our first when I was 36, the second when I was 38. My goal was to have them out of diapers by the time I needed diapers...so far, so good.

The laughter is the best part.

[grudk]

45 here with my first at age 2.5

Wife is 38 and our second is on the way.

We have no family support, but I think that's mitigated by our age/wisdom/efficiency/maturity

Best decision I've made is to have kids... nothing else comes close

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by grudk

45 here with my first at age 2.5

Wife is 38 and our second is on the way.

We have no family support, but I think that's mitigated by our age/wisdom/efficiency/maturity

Having a fat paycheck helps too

When Calvin came along we were both junior faculty making squadush. It sucked. Would have been a lot easier with more money (to hire babysitters) and/or family/friends with kids.

[jyl]

Oh, even though I said to think about the risks, unless there is something about your situation that makes the risks unusually large, I wouldn't be scared off. 1%, 2%, 3% is a very small probability. I'd take those odds all day.

[Oracle]

I was 35 then 39 and yes it is very difficult to deal with bottles, diapers, nightmares, potty training, etc. But it was the best thing I did with my life, as it as pretty boring, predictable and unchallenged as everything was planned, in order and on time.

There is a quote that I really like (but I can't quite remember exactly):
"While I'm trying to teach you about life you teach me what life is about"

[tubwreck]

Originally Posted by John-1977911s

Our concerns are:
- being in our 50's and the child still not even a teen.
- Most of our friends do not have children or their kid's are already teens and will soon be on their own.
- Our lives are molded and set - Do we really want to turn everything upside down?

On the other hand -
We are both very youthful, fit and healthy (So our age shouldn't matter so much)
We would get to do all of the things parents get to do when they have children and love it.

I was 43/46 when my boys were born.

Your lives will be completely unmolded and unset, and whatever youth, fitness, and health you might enjoy today will be taxed to the limit.

Don't worry about your peer group -- you will make new friends, and among them will be other older parents.

You will get to do all the things that parents get to do with your kids and you will love it. This weekend, my 6-year old and I are working on his first pinewood derby car.

[Joeaksa]

My Mother was 41 and Father 45 when I was born, well over 50 years ago. Am pretty happy that they did it!

[Moses]

Some things to think about;

1) 50% of 40 year old women cannot conceive a successful pregnancy spontaneously.

2) The rate of miscarriage for 40 year old women is 50%

My wife was 43 when we had our last child. She had two miscarriages before Brynn was conceived. We used Clomid to help ovulation.

Brynn is our third child. I can't imagine our lives without her.

If you are serious about making a baby, get started NOW. Remember, when healthy couples stop using contraception, 65% are pregnant within 3 months, 85% within 6 months. If your wife is not pregnant within three months, see a specialist. You don't have a lot of time. Statistically, her fertility is declining very rapidly and being fit and healthy does not change that fact one bit.

[Tobra]

Switch to boxers if you wear briefs.

[nynor]

ours is 9 months old. we love him. he is a lot of fun and happy as a pig in feces.

i just turned 40, my wife is (if she sees this i may not live to 41) 37. it all went well.

if you want a child, go for it. i didn't read the whole post, so i don't know if you have children already. be prepared for some serious life changes. we thought we had a handle on it. yeah, and monkeys fly out my arse on a full moon.

[mca]

Switch to boxers if you wear briefs.

False. Myth!

Don't want to go off topic, but our fertility DR said that was simply not true.

[Aurel]

I am 39, my wife just turned 50. We have an almost 4 year old daughter, born naturally perfectly healthy, without fertility drugs. Doctors said it was too late for my wife to become pregnant. How about that? I guess they did not count on french husband .

[Neilk]

Originally Posted by Aurel

I am 39, my wife just turned 50. We have an almost 4 year old daughter, born naturally perfectly healthy, without fertility drugs. Doctors said it was too late for my wife to become pregnant. How about that? I guess they did not count on french husband .

I'll second that one as a fellow Frenchman.

Partner was 37 and I was 35 when we had our daughter. It's been a great 3+ years. She didn't think she could get pregnant as she had never been before after trying with an earlier partner.

[badcar]

First daughter at age 36, second daughter at age 41 and she is now 11 weeks old. Like owning P-car, the math will never make sense, but the joy of having one is incredible.

Do yourself the favor of making sure the plumbing works for both of you. We had to go through the IVF process to have our second.

[kanadary]

I had one at 36 and the other at 41, both girls. wife is one year younger than me. it does take alot of energy and now we've tripled that by getting a retreiver pup. the younger one likes to turn the wrenches with me on the 911 unless sponge bob is on tv.

[jyl]

Originally Posted by Aurel

I am 39, my wife just turned 50. We have an almost 4 year old daughter, born naturally perfectly healthy, without fertility drugs. Doctors said it was too late for my wife to become pregnant. How about that? I guess they did not count on french husband .

So definitely not the pool boy then? :-)

[California#1]

They will bring life back into you and if your healthy now, you won't even feel the effort involved. You certainly get to relive your youth and you can bestow alot more wisdom and patience at your age. You will never regret and never look back.

[trader220]

I am 45 and my wife is 47. We adopted a baby boy when he was born who is now 3.5 years old. All I can say is this has been the greatest thing I have experienced in my entire life and I would not trade it for anything. I dont care how old my wife and I when he's X age. I look forward to being the oldest dad in the stands when he plays hockey. When I come home from work and he's going nuts because I came in the door the feeling is priceless.

[Sapporo Guy]

Interesting ... been thinking about similar things with the GF.

I do have a daughter (7, owned by X) and a soon to be 15 (in house, GF's) ... thought it might be nice to have another that is "ours" ... however worried that I'm just replacing my daughter (sorry off topic).

My half brother is half my age. lolo, I'm 40 now ... and Dad is 67.
Best friend from high school mother was also 40+ than he was.

Thinking from your view point is great! But, gotta remember about the little ones.

Interesting is that they don't mind so much but it does bring the idea of mortality home earlier

Do agree with having more kids though Have em while you can