How hard do you push your children?

[peppy]

My wife and I have a bit of a difference on how hard I push our son. He is almost 3 and has hearing aids. His language is not coming along very fast, we do speech therapy twice a week (all three of us participate) and I am trying to push him to use his words.

I know this is different than sports to some extent, but if we don't push him he could end up with a forth grade reading level.

How hard is to hard, and how do you know when you are pushing too hard?

Thanks

[enzo1]

hmm, how hard are you "pushing" a little more info?

[peppy]

Working on his vocabulary and getting him to use words instead of pointing and grunting.

He gets a bit mad when I don't give in to him and he can throw a fit with speech therapy.

[enzo1]

is your wife a "pushover"..... do you or her feel responsible or burdened for his condition. How long do you work with him , (min hours days).... do you feel he's getting away with not doing speech therapy?

[rfuerst911sc]

Are you doing this therapy on your own or with the help of a professional ? I would think someone trained in this field could give you a baseline for how hard to push. Everyone is different so there is no one answer fits all. Good luck.

[Dueller]

Called my mom who is has a doctorate in speech therapy. She asked if he has signing modalities in his therapy. This is often a fun game for children incorporating signing coupled with the use of the word. They'll often abandon the signing and use words. She said not to be alarmed at the use of signing techniques...it is used succesfully to help children who have no hearing loss but just speech problems. Most importantly the therapy should be fun for the child at this age...not frustrating but then again not coddling. At 3 y.o. you can't force him to do it. She suggests patience at this age. She suggests you ignore the grunts and insist on signing or attempts at speech. She asked had he been in the "Babies Can't Wait" program thru easter seal foundation?

She needed a little more info as to the level of hearing loss before she could be more specific..

[Superman]

Withholding something from him pending his proper speech is great if he knows what he needs to do. If he doesn't......if he cannot come up with a way to get your acceptance, then withholding can be very damaging. Find out from the professionals what he is capable of, and discuss with them the ways you can help him at home.

The age-old power struggle between man and wife over the raising of the son: The man says "Woman! Do what you wish with the girls, but you will NOT sissify my son. Leave his training up to me!" As a consequence, boys are separated from their mothers at a young age. Later, as men, those boys have to figure out how to reconnect, emotionally.

[peppy]

enzo1..yes a push over .....no not burdened ....no set hours for speech we just make sure we input as much language as we can (over and over)


rfuerst911sc we have therapist that help and they don't have a problem with me pushing him.

Jim we don't do signing, we use auditory verbal therapy. Here is a link to the web sight.
Auditory/Verbal Therapy — UNC School of Medicine

[onewhippedpuppy]

We had to send my son through speech therapy at about the same age. At times we had to force the issue by refusing to acknowledge his speech until he spoke correctly. Be firm and encouraging, make sure he's always trying. At 5 my son is up to speed with others his age, but it took a lot of work.

[peppy]

Sup....I only withhold on words he knows and can use.

I think he is lazy.

[Tobra]

They do the lingo thing fast when they are young. Younger the better to learn it.

I think kids do better if you are firm with them. They don't know what to do and want you to tell them.

[ruf-porsche]

Have you have him tested for Autism or ASPERGER'S DISORDER?

[austin552]

IT's even harder when your a stepfather.

[paulgtr]

keep working with him. don't let a little bad temper get in the way of learning. kids are very smart and adaptable. definitely don't give in unless he uses the right words.

[masraum]

Keep working with him, but 3 may be a bit young to push really hard. Encourage, I think is a better term.

Once he gets older, push some. My parents encouraged, and pushed, but not very hard. I think I wish they had pushed a bit harder, but I can't actually say if it would have helped or hurt.

It depends upon the personality. Some people need constant encouragement and sometimes a push. Some people will rebel against pushing. I think that a person's "personality" is in many ways innate. Nature or nurture, I don't think it's an either - or kind of thing. It's not black and white, but shades of gray like pretty much everything else in life. Try to learn your son's personality and do what he needs.

[Jim Bremner]

A dog's Shock collar worked for my step son!

His speech problem was soo bad that his Mom couldn't understand him.

I had several customers that came from other countries and I would listen better to his speech.

I could understand him better than she could!