It's never really about the thing it's about.
 

Just sayin.

Question: What is the key to understanding communication with women?

"I'll take relationships for 500, Alex."

"It's not about the money."

I dunno, I'm pretty sure using the runny blueberry jam instead of the rasberry jam really does make me an inconsiderate as###le

Funny, that was the first thing that popped into my head too...

It's not you, it's ME

Just sayin'...

$500? That should only be a $100 answer :)

Gabby Hayes!

"Lenin had a beard. Gabby Hayes had whiskers."

...and Barbara has a bush.

...it's a chicken wing.

Which is the essence of all I know.

It's not the same to talk of bulls as to be in the bullring. -Spanish proverb.

Women talk, understanding is optional.

whenever they are upset, keep repeating "it's not your fault"
It drives em nuts, they can't argue with it, they can't scream that your wrong, they can't calm down and simply agree with you.. It's beautiful

just keep repeating it in a calm , soothing voice..

it's ok... it's not your fault

Then watch as the programming starts throwing internal exception errors..
If you listen carefully, you might even hear the chips overheating and electrically crack pop fizzle...

This is why it is better to rent than to own.

true dat - cost of ownership far exceeds a lease albeit temporary...better yet, learn to live without and live longer and wiser!

A man hears nothing a woman says, and a woman hears everything a man says.

If they say it's not you and it's them, it really is you.


I've been married 18 years and the only thing I've figured out is not to argue with them. Never fight back. Ever!
There is nothing I could ever say back that would get to her as much as just ignoring her.
When she used to get on a rant I would just keep doing whatever it was I was doing and act as if she wasn't even in the room. Invisible.

Oh man does she hate that. Big time.
She's gotten to the point where she doesn't get mad at me anymore, it's just not worth it.

the only downside to that strategy is when you pretend she isn't there, she might make that a reality and leave.
But hey, even that's better than having her beotch at you, right? ;)

That's just... mean!

That's been my approach. I'm not hot headed. If I've done something wrong I offer a sincere apology right away. If I haven't ... I just keep doing what I'm doing.

When men listen to women they generally let it go in one ear and out the other.

With women it goes in both ears and comes out of their mouth.

Proceed accordingly;)

There's always the reason and then there's always the real reason, in everything.

God offered a man one wish.

"I've always been afraid to fly and dream of visiting Hawaii. My wish is for a bridge from LA to Honolulu"

God said, that's ridiculous..."there's no way I'm going to build a bridge all the way to Hawaii. Way too much work. Wish for something else".

"Okay...teach me how to understand women".

God...."Did you want one lane, or two?"

Serious Questions

1) What is a StomachMonkey
2) Where is Lantana Texas

"One cannot long stare into the abyss without the abyss staring back."
~Neitzsche


(For anyone confused, the mind of a woman is the abyss)

Letterman joke. One night he had these two wooden dice with words on them and did a bit about "How bands get their names". He rolled them and stomach monkeys came up.

I thought it was funny, think I'd had a few drinks that night. So next day I registered the URL.

About two years later I did get a buy offer from an American punk band named Stomachmonkeys but declined it. There is a band in Germany named The Stomach Monkeys and they did use the name because of the Letterman bit.

Lantana is a community in the Highland Village/Flower Mound area, bout 12 miles north of DFW.

God I wish I could have used that one with my ex-wife. Oh well, 15 years too late.

this might help

Love, sex and the male brain - CNN.com