Moving/Cleaning
 

am tearing the place apart. years of clutter. what is most fascinating are the things i simply cannot explain.


grain belt beer stein
discover card
box of .32s
storyboards for an unproduced episode of biker mice from mars
craftsman router
blood pressure cuff
mardi gras beads
repair manual for a vincent rapide
box of unlabled syquest discs
box of books on hypnotherapy
vacuum cleaner attachments
abacus



where the hell did this stuff come from?

I think this explains everything:

box of books on hypnotherapy

When you wake up, you will not remember anything...

Sound familiar? No, no it wouldn't...

a real abacus? or a plastic one..?

I did this a few years ago and had I taken the time probably could have sold the stuff on flea bay for a small fortune but just wanted to get past the clutter. Actually filled a full size dumpster. You collect a lot of crap after 30+ years in the same house.

I can explain...

You traveled down to Mardi-Gras and were so excited at all the 'beads' you saw. Eventually you had way to much to drink because you bought this grain belt beer stein from a street vendor. Unfortuantely it was still leaking hazardous chemicals from the rubber. Since you were nearly out of money but sensing your own demise, you attempted to self-diagnnose and bought a blood-pressure cuff to monitor your recovery.

During your alcohol and petroleum distillate based stupor you crafted a story about biker mice that seemed brilliant at the time but later turned out to be crap.

Knowing that you would feel this way about it while you were sober, you made backups on the syquest disk to preserve the story and left them unlabeled so your sober self wouldn't also delete those copies.

While sobering up you were threatened by the seedy New Orleans underground because you were squatting in 'claimed turf.' Threatened you bought bullets and attempted to buy a pistol but were foiled by the waiting period. Once again sensing your demise you bought a Vincent to get out of dodge built of course it was broken so you bought th repair manual to attempt to fix it.

While using an abucus to check the appropriate swing arm angles you tripped on a stack of hypnotherapy books that your spouse had secretly been reading and broke it. Unfortunately your vacuum cleaner was not up to the task of cleaning up the beads to you had to find some hella sweet attachements to clean them up.


There see? Simple! But no one will EVER know why the hell you have a Discover Card, that's just TOO STRANGE!