Australian letter of the Year...

[lisa_spyder]

This really got me laughing...why, cos it is just sooooooo true.....

AUSTRALIAN LETTER OF THE YEAR

This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister; the Rudd Government tried desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it nearly wet themselves laughing!


Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also... would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely f$#@ing astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

S&^T!

I apologise, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bulls&^t!

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f^&%ing address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal ar%^holes working there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture.. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me,why would you give a s*&t whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another f^&%ing copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo.. that 'd be too f*&^ing easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our f*&^ing heads cut off, and then having to find some high-society wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo.. the one where we' re not allowed to smile?! ....you f*&^ing morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!)
I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

However, your rules require that I have to get someone "important" to verify who I am; You know... someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F*&^ING PAKISTAN!!!...... a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the "right sort of government" .

You are all F*&^ng idiots!

[scottbombedout]

Originally Posted by lisa_spyder

However, your rules require that I have to get someone "important" to verify who I am; You know... someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F*&^ING PAKISTAN!!!...... a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the "right sort of government" .

Every word also true in the UK

[KevinP73]

You mean it's not just the U.S. government that has it's head up it's a**?

[Moses]

But they're gonna SAVE health care.

[lisa_spyder]

Don't get me started Moses...

yeah they're gonna save healthcare....it'll be just as successful as their roofing insulation installation stimulus BS....

oh...you meant YOUR govt...LOL....I meant OURS!!!

[stomachmonkey]

I move to TX. Need to get a TX Drivers License.

Wife has already done hers and tells me I need to bring my SS card which I lost along with the right half of my pants which is coincidently the side I kept my wallet in. Actually lost is the wrong word, I know where it is, bottom of Oyster Bay Cove, the whole thing involved the boat, alcohol, horny chicks and an anchor chain, but that's a story for another day.

So I say screw it and show up with my NY license and valid Passport.

No dice, they send me away, tell me they need to see my SS# in print.

Go back a few days alter and bring along my NY license and US Passort my W-2's, last years tax return and a few other government documents with my SS# on it.

Nope, NG.

"We need your actual SS card, your health ins card if your member # is your social or a college transcript with your social on it."

Really? You're joking right? How do any of those trump a valid US Passport?

"Passports are too easy to fake!"

And a piece of paper like a SS card, ins card or college transcript is not?

So off I go to the SS office to get a replacement.

They ask me for ID.

I ask, will a Passport do?

"That's perfect, best ID you can have"

[TechnoViking]

I had the lady at the Social Security office tell me that my adopted son was no longer a citizen of the US because his Korean passport had expired and we had not gotten a US passport yet.

I said, "You're telling me that a passport makes you a citizen?"

"Yes."

These are people that work for the Federal Government in the office that issues Social Security numbers. It's their job to understand the law, but neither the clerk nor the supervisor on staff would budge. No passport = no citizenship = no SSN.

I ended up taking all the SAME documents (US birth cert, notarized adoption decree) to the post office and got the passport. THEN my son was given a SSN. My son was, of course, a citizen all along, but don't try to explain federal law to the federal government.

[s_morrison57]

nice letter all of it applies to most gov't in most countries

[m21sniper]

Cue the "it's fake cause snopes says so" response in 3....2....1....

[pwd72s]

Bureaucracies...the same all over the planet. We are truly screwed...

How can anyone possibly think that adding more bureaucrats to a society already overburdened by them is a good thing?

[Zeke]

That's one of the funniest things I have read. And the statement that you can't very well explain the laws and codes to gov't employees is spot on. In CA, getting a state worker that can speak English clear enough to understand is only the first hurdle.

[jwhcars]

I needed a chuckle and this letter did the trick......OMG but it is so true.

[sc_rufctr]

And it's 100% accurate....

When I was serving in the Australian Army my unit had organised a visit to the factory were the "new" Black Hawk" helicopters were being modified for Australia conditions.
I'm not sure what they were actually doing to these helicopters...

It was an interesting visit but there was an area we couldn't enter because of our low level standard Defence force security clearance.
Funny thing was the guy who told us we couldn't enter the restricted area was an Asian immigrant who could barely speak English.
And before you ask, he had full access to all areas of the project.

[holtjv]

You pay someone $35k per year, treat them like dog poop, and you expect them to do things as well as K-Mart?

Inconceivable!

[lisa_spyder]

Guys,

How I knew you could all identify with this idiocy the world over......

Peter is right - the scariest thing about this letter is that everything that is stated in it is exactly as it happens here!!!

Gotta keep all those public servants and bureaucrats in a job...helps keep our unemployment figures nice and low...so our reserve bank can jack up interest rates mostly based on our "better than expected" unemployment figures....

like I said earlier...don't get me started....

[stuartj]

Its everywhere. Recently I had to go the AUS Embassy in Thailand on business. You should the bombproof fortress they have built there. They wouldnt let me in. Then they wouldnt let my briefcase, computer and telephone in. There was a massive tantrum (me). Guards with pointed guns were involved. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth. Eventually they called out the Head of Security- a girl of about 17- and she let me in. ****wits.

[lisa_spyder]

Stuart.......


O M F G!!!!

[HHI944]

Originally Posted by sc_rufctr

And it's 100% accurate....

When I was serving in the Australian Army my unit had organised a visit to the factory were the "new" Black Hawk" helicopters were being modified for Australia conditions.
I'm not sure what they were actually doing to these helicopters...

It was an interesting visit but there was an area we couldn't enter because of our low level standard Defence force security clearance.
Funny thing was the guy who told us we couldn't enter the restricted area was an Asian immigrant who could barely speak English.
And before you ask, he had full access to all areas of the project.

Reminds me of coming home from Huachuca. I had an active TS/SCI clearance and the little indian, prick TSA agent told me in his broken english that I had been 'randomly' selected for additional screening. I ended up being detained for 'making aggressive and foul remarks to TSA personnel' Apparently, it's not appropriate to quote FMJ lines to a TSA agent

[PorscheGAL]

Getting a driver's license in South Carolina. Needed 2 forms of ID. I took license from Alabama, SS Card and Birth Certificate. SS Card has different name than Birth Certificate because I am married. I was told a license from another state was not proper ID and I needed a marriage license to prove the Birth Certificate and SS Card were mine. Crazy. It took 3 trips to DMV to get license.

Then again it is census time here in the US. It ask things like do you own or rent your home. Birthdate. Full names. IRS has all that info. Communication between agencies would save loads of money but why do that?

[Rikao4]

I like many I have done the DMV follies,
as mentioned in TX they like this Social Security card..

need to see your SS card..
why ?
for ID purpose..
have you ever read what it says..
no..
let me help you....
NOT to used for identification purpose..
see ..right below my name..
ooh...

Rika