King and Dad

[Dueller]

King is a purebred Australian Shephard. His dam abandoned him for whatever reason and the professional breeder was preoccupied with other matters so King was never socialized with humans or other dogs. The breeder turned him over to my brother, a veterinarian too compassionate for his own good.

My brother took King to my parent's farm where he hoped the open spaces and the small herd of Black Angus Dad hobby farmed would bring the dog out of his neurotic state. King was in herd dog heaven. He instinctively set about his duties obsessing over the cows. King would stand vigil over his herd watching their every move. When a cow would go into the small stand of woods on the backside of the farm to drop a calf, King would be by her side like a nervous expectant father, pacing constantly until the birth. Or perhaps he was just anticipating the placenta left behind which was a nutritional treat for him.

When a cow would be in breach, King would shed his neurotic fear of humans and come to the house raising hell no matter what the hour. Dad knew it was time to call my brother to come help the cow and calf in distress. King would anxiously wait until my brother's arrival and lead them to where the ailing cow was in labor. This was as close to human interaction he ever came. Once the calf was on the ground, King would take over.

When it was time to bring the herd to the feed barn in the evenings, Dad would call out to King and he would faithfully discharge his duties accounting for all of the cows leading them from the far end of the pasture in a tight pack. Dad would set out a bowl of dog food and maybe some table scraps for King, who would only eat after making sure the cows were settled and Dad was a distance away.

King last felt the touch of a human over thirteen years ago when my brother released him in Dad's pasture. He's old now, and getting slower and a bit more neurotic but he's happy having served so dutifully. To take him away from his farm and herd would certainly be his demise.

In many ways, Dad and King are of the same ilk. Dad was abandoned by his mother as a child, emotionally and physically. He never learned the touch of a caring human as a child. He was a mean and angry young man which may explain why he was such a good soldier after enlisting in the army, lying about his age, a week shy of his 16th birthday. Infantry. Airborne Ranger. A military career that included a tour in Korean conflict and two tours in Vietnam. Three purple hearts. Silver Star. Bronze Star. Oak leaf clusters. None of which were ever discussed after his retirement at age 40 with over 24 years service. No ego wall in his den; all awards and medals and comendations stowed away in the attic. He was devoted to his country and his family and not much else. Little in the way of socialization.

As with King, moving to the farm in south Georgia and raising his cows in relative solitude were a respite and salvation for Dad. Like King he's slowing down now. Though physically in remarkable health, he's been diagnosed with vascular dementia. The psychotic episodes are not frequent thanks to the medications. He is very alert and lucid most of the time, but there are frightening episodes on occasion. We know its only a matter of time before they can't be controlled. And that day where he no longer can be safe on his beloved farm will unfortunately come when he still is lucid enough to realize that he will never go back. And it will be his demise.

[silverc4s]

Dueller,
Thanks for sharing your Dad's story with us. It sure sounds like he has "paid his dues" to our free world.
I am not sure what his financial situation is, but there is a little known VA program called "Aid & Attendance" that is designed to make sure that any aging Veteran has assistance for related expenses should his health decline to the point that he needs constant assistance with ADL's, etc. This can be in his home, or in a facility setting.
If you want more info PM me & I can help you get in touch with some one in your neck of the woods.

[Dueller]

Thanks, Bill. I'd appreciate the info. Right now were just trying to sort out what's out there. My parents are in good financial shape, but given dad's remarkable physical health (no BP/heart trouble/history of cancer/etc) he very well could live another 20+ yeras and possibly outlive his money, but that is unlikely. He has no service connected disability so if he had to be institutuionalized he could easily pay for a VA retirement home given his income/assets but I don't know if he would survive the loss of independent living. But I would appreciate any info you have....partriculary any ideas on at home care programs.

Our dilemma is the transient nature of his illness; i.e., he is fine most of the time but on occasion goes into full blown dementia with no warning.

Anybody else have to deal with this type of illness with parents and this particular dilemma?

TIA.

[silverc4s]

Dueller,
You can start here..

http://www.veteranaid.org/

I think that as you say, the actual benefit for Dad at this time may be minimal, but as time goes on and the money winds down this is always available to him.
If he has been diagnosed with dementia of some type, it may also be a good time to speak with him and other family members about setting up a Revocable Family Trust. This is an instrument that will enable the family to step in when it becomes necessary without the mess and expense of Guardianship and or Court focused competency proceedings that may be required in your state.
This must be done with Dad's full knowledge and agreement, so if he is declining, sooner is better. I am sorry for bringing up these usually painful issues, but I deal with families in these circumstances regularly, and have learned that proper advance work makes the future better for everyone.

[Dueller]

Thanks for the link, Bill. I am a bit familiar with the A&A program having helped some clients who werte wartime vets. Good program, but my parents' assets are substantially higher than the limits set in that program.

As I do some estate planning in my practice, I am familiar with RFT's and other financial tools.

My main concern is how to cope with providing Dad the best possible care with the greatest modicum of independence. We consider institutionalization the absolute last choice.

Thanks.

[ckissick]

Done right, "King and Dad" would make for a great book followed by a movie deal. I can imagine scenes that would leave nary a dry eye in the house. Seriously.

[Jim Bremner]

Give thanks to your father for me!

[Evans, Marv]

Such a great story and such a sad ending. Best of luck.

[Rot 911]

Dueller, sounds like a hell of a dad and a dog. Is your dad getting treatment? Also don't rule out him getting a service related disabilty ruling, even at this late date.

[Dueller]

Dad's health has improved dramatically in the past 18 months, thanks largely to a very capable new neurologist who finally got meds sorted out that were a large cause of the dementia/psychoses....although he's a bit unstable on his feet at times he still spends every day feeding his cows and walking the pastures.

King died this morning. ' best we can figure he was almost 16 years old. It hit dad pretty hard.

We talked about getting him another shepherd dog, but dad said, "Don't need another dog. Besides who would take care of him when I'm gone?"

[Rot 911]

Jim that is great news about your dad. King sounds like he was one hell of a dog. Even though he may not have wanted a person to touch him, it seems like King and your dad had a bond.

I know your dad says he doesn't want another dog right now. I said the same thing last December when my dog and best friend of 14 years died. And then Tilly, an English Shepherd puppy, came into our lives.

[MRM]

I was thinking about this thread just the other day. It was bittersweet to hear that King had died, but I was glad to hear that he died on the farm. It sounds like he died with his boots on, the way he wanted. I was worried that he would get too old and feeble to stay active on the farm and would die a lingering death, suffering from not being able to be with his heard.

May your dad live forever and keep his cows safe and productive. My dad was much the same as yours. Seeing him die was like seeing a towering oak being felled in a single stroke. The farm will always be empty without him.

[Dueller]

Thanks for you thoughts, MRM. We knew something was wrong over the weekend. King was clearly under the weather as he seemed to have slowed down quite a bit and was obviously in some pain in his hind quarters. But he was still herding the cows as recently as yesterday, albeit slowly and limping. We feared had gotten in a fight with another dog and had been injured. When dad found him he was under a big oak tree in the middle of the pasture he had patrolled the past decade and a half as if he had just decided to take a morning nap. He had no obvious injuries. Brother thinks it was likely kidney failure.

You're right...he went out with his boots on. We all should have King's life.

[dtw]

Oh man. Tearing up here. Best to your Dad and Godspeed to King.

[Danimal16]

Dueller,

Thanks for the documentary on a good man and a good dog. Sounds to me like these two were cut from the best of the breed.

Very and most respectfully,

Danb

[masraum]

Great story, thanks for sharing. I'm glad that King went well. I'm also glad to hear that the new guy's got your dad doing better.