WWYD? Two year old granneice going up adoption....

[Joe Bob]

Seems my neice was declared an unfit mother by the courts. Her darling 2 yo, redheaded baby is going up for adoption. I told you I have a plethora of Gingers in the family......

I'm in no position to deal with it, financially or physically.....hell I can barely bend over to catch my Dachshund.....not many in my side of the family have room either.

Back in the day, they would MAKE room. This is killing me.....

[Hydrocket]

If the mom is that bad, and the child needs to be removed...it's probably for the best....

Very sad for you though.....

[stomachmonkey]

That sucks, it really sucks.

Can you get an emergency family meeting together to find a communal solution?

Adoption may not be such a bad option. I have several close friends that could not have their own.

They are wonderful parents. I have no doubt their children are no worse off than if they had stayed with their birth parent/s.

But I also believe if the family can step in then they should.

I wish you the best and hope it all works out.

[EarlyPorsche]

WWID? Sell Porsche and all "stuff" take on more work responsibility and make room.

[Hydrocket]

Originally Posted by EarlyPorsche

WWID? Sell Porsche and all "stuff" take on more work responsibility and make room.

Easy to say when it won't be you who has to do that for the next 18-20 years....

I agree with the poster...not everyone can just take a child into their house. This is a HUGE undertaking. Who knows how old the poster is too...the guy may already be in his 50-60s....

Sure, it's preferable to keep the child in the family. But that child could also have a wonderful life being adopted.

[porsche4life]

JB is in his 50s IIRC... Taking on a 2 yr old would be hard......

My cousin is adopted, our family treats him just like any of the grandkids, and his parents give him every opportunity he could want. Adoption might not be soo bad....

[mossguy]

Mike - if the two year old were to be adopted, would you retain your granduncle status, along with all the privileges and responsibilities?

[rusnak]

JB, gut check time. I'm wishing the best for her.

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

JoeBob,

Adoption is not that bad! I have several friends with adopted children and they are no less loved!

My Wife is young enough we would make room. I think my Sister would beat us to ANY relative's child who was going through this. It is a tough call. If you are physically unable to handle a 2 year old then you have your answer. They can be a handful.

[85eurocarrera]

not meant as a dig at you...or anyone else...but please try and replace "put up for" with "placed with". Small thing I know, but is better and most of the time more accurate.

To the OP, that's tough. Follow your instincts/ heart.

[dewolf]

Originally Posted by EarlyPorsche

WWID? Sell Porsche and all "stuff" take on more work responsibility and make room.

Have to agree. I know it's easy to say because I am not in your situation (gladly I have full mobility) but this little princess is your blood and a human that cannot and should not be subject to being handed around outside of her family. I think you may have to gather your family around and someone step up to the plate. It's amazing what a family can do if they pool their resources. I would sell my soul if my grandniece, and mine is around the same age, needed me to rescue her.
Man, you are in a very sticky predicament. I can't imagine the anguish you must feel. You, and the little princess have my best wishes.

[billybek]

Tough situation, Mike.
I hope that someone in the family steps up and takes full responsibility for this little girl.
There has to be a pretty good reason for the courts to declare the mother unfit though and the wee ginger deserves nothing but the best parents that she could possibly have. If that means going to a new family then that should be looked at as a blessing, not a terrible thing.

[Mothy]

My wife and I fostered a number of children for a period between our second and third child, all between newborn and 2 years old. Many were emergency placements after court orders prior to adoption.

The one thing that was clear to us was that any decisions have to be made on the basis of whats best for the child - not whats best for the 'family'. A child like this needs a stable, loving and long term relationship. Adoption certainly delivers this in the vast majority of cases. If within the extended family there is someone/a couple who can offer this, then that is a great bonus.

Joe Bob - No doubt the situation hurts like hell - I can only imagine what it would be like knowing that if circumstances were better for you, you would probably be able to step in. Wishing you and the Princess a good outcome.

Tim

[LWJ]

Perspective. My eldest is adopted. Not an issue. We have a playgroup just for adopted kids - so that they have a group of peers to ask questions / relate with etc. One member I call the 'bravest man in the world' adopted an infant girl in his 50's.

Someone will be OVERJOYED to raise this cutie! Lets just hope she isn't in the state system too long.

Larry

[Kraqus]

Where is Grandma?





Benny

[willtel]

One option would be to get yourself an Au Pair to help out. I tried to convince my wife that a 19 year old Icelandic girl would be really helpful to have around but she won't go for it.

Find your au pair now - Search Au Pairs or Families

[Joe Bob]

Originally Posted by Kraqus

Where is Grandma?





Benny

Granmas (on both sides) are batschitzcrazy.....selling my Porsche, my only ride isn't an option....my brothers have four kids each.....

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

Guys,

Do NOT be too harsh on JoeBob! I respect him for knowing his limitations! A 2 year old is not a small force but rather something to be reckened with. The man obviously is torn apart, I feel for him.


Adoption is NOT the worst thing that could happen. Apparently staying in the current situation or going with a gransparent is negative to the child's welfare. There are MANY loving families in this country looking for a child. Sometimes things happen for the better. If no one in the family should or could take the girl then this can be in her best interest. There are times when saying goodbye is the best thing we can do.

Can you work with the attorney/case worker? Help the girl get with a good placement?

[genrex]

Just a follow-up on what Mothy said...

In this state, if a child is in a foster home, there may be an option for the biological parents (mother and/or father) to "earn back" the child by completing supervised parenting classes through the state DSHS. Perhaps this option is available for the mother, if not now then in the near future?

As part of this option, if the parent has drug problems, she must successfully pass drug screenings that are given during the parenting-class process. The parenting classes take place on a weekly basis over several months.

_

[Rikao4]

Bob's hand are tied..
and it sounds like a loony bin already..
this will make you feel better Bob..
one of nieces does not know another one has one of her kids..
then again..
she aborted many..
spawned more..
did time for att. murder..
her kids are everywhere & nowhere..

Rika