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-   -   It doesn't suck to be Derek Jeter (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/566090-doesnt-suck-derek-jeter.html)

cmccuist 09-23-2010 07:36 PM

It doesn't suck to be Derek Jeter
 
Here's a pretty interesting piece that Rick Reilly wrote about Derek Jeter's "conquests." I mean this guy is Wilt Chamberlain, Magic Johnson, Frank Sinatra and Casanova all rolled into one - in terms of quality.

He actually has a "no Miss Universe" rule! Are you freakin' kidding me?? He dated one Miss Universe, and then another one was pursuing HIM! And he's like, no thanks, too much trouble.

And I don't know if he ever nailed Jessica Simpson, but if he did, he hit for the Jessica Cycle. If not he "just" hit for the Jessica Daily Double.

And it looks like he likes them petite and dark-haired. And this is just his top 10!! Wonder what numbers 11-1,000 look like.

Quote:

If it's true that New York Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter and "Friday Night Lights" actress Minka Kelly are planning a wedding, it marks the end of one of the greatest Valentino runs in sports history. Not since Joe Namath has one athlete hung so many lip-biting beauties off his arm without ever getting a champagne bottle smashed over his head or a paternity suit hung on his door.
Therefore -- with apologies to Ms. Kelly -- we rank the losers in the epic and historic Get Jeter to the Altar Sweepstakes:

10. Jordana Brewster: Actress from The Fast and the Furious. Also an apt description of their relationship.

9. Joy Enriquez: pop singer and former 7th Heaven guest star. Interestingly, Enriquez was also once a back-up singer for Mariah Carey, who ranks --

8. Ms. Carey, Jeter's first as a pro.

7.Lara Dutta: 2000 Miss Universe and current Bollywood star. A few years back, Jeter let me open an entire locker full of his mail. The most interesting letter was from a different Miss Universe, who included a photo with not a lot of clothing and her cell number. When I told Jeter -- with astonishment -- that he was being pursued with vigor by a Miss Universe, he said, and I quote exactly: "No way, dude. I'm not going down that Miss Universe road again." I just stared, open-mouthed, at him. Has any man ever uttered that sentence before?

6. Gabrielle Union, actress. Turned out not to be true, but we include it here just to run her quote: "I'm linked to a lot of people," Union said at the time. "It'd be great to be dating Derek Jeter. As far as fake relationships go, I'm moving up."

5. Vanessa Minnillo: Former Miss Teen USA and long-time MTV host. Hot enough to melt gold fillings.

4. Adriana Lima: Victoria's Secret Model, Maybelline Girl, Brazilian Supermodel. Hard to imagine Jeter letting this one go, unless it was perhaps for --

3. Vida Guerra: Former Playboy model. Many magazines she appears in must be handled with oven mitts.

Tie, 2 and 1: The Two Jessicas -- Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel. Jeter is the only male to pull off the rare Jessica parlay. For that alone, he goes down in the Sealy Posturepedic Hall of Fame.

Derek Jeter's getting married? Somewhere, a room service waiter weeps.


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McLovin 09-23-2010 10:15 PM

slap slap slap, like that.

porsche4life 09-23-2010 10:25 PM

That bastard....

Porsche-O-Phile 09-24-2010 03:21 AM

He's got what they want - a big, giant, fat, hard













Wallet.

esample 09-24-2010 03:33 AM

Derek's new house
 
In Tampa.



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Tobra 09-24-2010 07:45 AM

Why on earth would he get married?

cmccuist 09-24-2010 08:07 AM

I guess he wants an ex-wife. Why, I have no idea.

speeder 09-24-2010 08:09 AM

As the old saying goes,

"That guy does whatever he wants...":cool:

arcsine 09-24-2010 11:59 AM

try the same 'hottie list' with Justin Timberlake. Not saying I admire him in any way but he been connected to many smokin women:

Danielle Ditto 1994 - 1996
Veronica Finn 1996 - 1998
Stacy Ferguson 1998
Tatyana Ali 1998
Britney Spears 1998 - 2002
Jenna Dewan 2002 - 2003
Alyssa Milano 2002
Staci Flood 2003
Cameron Diaz 2003 - 2006
Scarlett Johansson 2006 - 2007
Jessica Biel 2007 - present as of August 23, 2007

scottmandue 09-24-2010 12:06 PM

Good thing he has the right genitalia... if this was a woman you would all be grumbling about what a disgusting slut she was.

M.D. Holloway 09-24-2010 01:23 PM

But do ya think he has really tapped all that or is it just for the celeb of it all?

But lets say he did, I wonder who he said was the best, the freakiest, the one(s) that l him do 'that' to her, the owns that swallow, etc...

Inquiring minds want to know???

GH85Carrera 09-24-2010 01:24 PM

That is because most single men are sluts, and lesbians!

widgeon13 09-24-2010 05:10 PM

They all look the same when you stand them on their heads!

artplumber 09-24-2010 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by widgeon13 (Post 5579997)
They all look the same when you stand them on their heads!

Not Adriana Lima. Or the Jessicas.

stomachmonkey 09-24-2010 08:49 PM

He's gotta be gay.

vash 09-25-2010 11:43 AM

man!!! i wish i could make $$ like that hitting and throwing a baseball like a girl!!

i hate that effer.

VenezianBlau 87 09-27-2010 03:38 AM

Jeez, I was feeling pretty good about myself this morning until now...

Jessica Alba. That's perfection in my eyes!!!


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