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-   -   wow My cousing H......... (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/567562-wow-my-cousing-h.html)

juan ruiz 10-02-2010 04:55 PM

wow My cousing H.........
 
WOW I got the call today that my close cousin took his life, he hung himself from a tree after a long night of drinking and God knows what else, Father of 3 in a battle with the wife for years about divorce and her Diva ways of spending his money, as I been told he was trying for ever to get way from her but she was restless making his life miserable.

I grew up with him, and since I don't have any brothers or sisters he was my oldest brother in my eyes, former Motocross champion. hell of a motorcycle pilot, not a perfect person but will give you his plate so you don't go hungry.

I'm not looking for any sympathy, he is Gone :(.........................


For ANY of you that have problems, weather they are financial, relationship or whatever the case my be, find help, talk to someone, don't do this to your loves ones.

Dear Tito, I will dearly miss you, you were a true Champ!

emcon5 10-02-2010 05:03 PM

Wow Juan, I am sorry for your loss.

Oh Haha 10-02-2010 05:07 PM

So sorry for your loss, Juan. Having been through this with a BIL it can be hard to understand.:(

Please take care of yourself as grief can show in many unique forms.

I am not a counselor but I would be glad to hear from you if you need to talk.

Contact me through PM or email and I'll give you my number.

pete3799 10-02-2010 05:09 PM

That's a shame.
Sorry for your loss.

ben parrish 10-02-2010 05:30 PM

Wow...how are the kids? They will need a lot of help in the coming years....hope you can be there for them.

juan ruiz 10-02-2010 05:41 PM

Thank you guys, the story is much deeper and sad, My aunt and his 11 year girl were the ones that found him, there he was hanging motionless gone for ever, it is hard to understand why anyone will do this.

I have a huge phobia of dead, everyday I think of it, what about my kids, my wife what if, what if, this certainly doesn't help.

I'm very sad but more than that I'm mad at him, he dint have to do this, when I talked to his brother he put it in a right way, "Tito did something very stupid"

patssle 10-02-2010 05:47 PM

You know, fitting this in with the other suicides that's have been making the news lately..there seems to be a common theme:

People acting like a-holes towards the victim.

Gotta love humanity.

Sorry for your loss.

juan ruiz 10-02-2010 06:12 PM

Ironic you mention this, thats exactly what my wife was telling me earlier:(

LeeH 10-02-2010 06:14 PM

Sorry to hear this. My nephew took his own life at 17. The effects are so far reaching through a family. I often wonder if people consider this when they make that decision or if they KNOW it and that's the point. Are they checking out or is it to intentionally scar the family?

nynor 10-02-2010 06:44 PM

my sister did this about three years ago, age 20. very sad. i am sorry for your loss.

Rick Lee 10-02-2010 06:48 PM

It's happened in my family too. I was there when the coroner's office wheeled my cousin's body out of the house while homicide detectives interviewed her estranged husband. Not a good night. She had gotten a DUI, for which she was sure she'd lose her security clearance, went on a bender as soon as she was out of jail, had a car accident while drunk, got another DUI, but they let her out of jail after a few hours because the paperwork from the first DUI hadn't gone through yet. She was sure losing her security clearance would mean losing her job and then not being able to keep the house. She figured she'd hit rock bottom and there was no getting any better. Earlier that night I had drived past her house and remember thinking I needed to give her a call. Too late.

juan ruiz 10-02-2010 07:00 PM

wow Guys this is unreal! I never knew so many people dealt with this :( talking to my wife we think that at a certain point the person brain just trips, I can imagine all the trouble that my cousin went to make this happen:confused: without realizing that this was a very sad thing to do, I'm not Doctor Phil but I will ask a very well known doctor that I know and will share his point of view.

masraum 10-02-2010 07:08 PM

I had a stepkid take his own life when he was 21. It's tragic for anyone. It especially sucks now that the kids have to grow up with that as the memory of their father. My condolences.

9dreizig 10-02-2010 08:00 PM

Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in this country. A well kept secret. Two years ago in Sept I lost my niece to suicide two days after my son's step father hung himself.
Next weekend is the national AFSC Out of Darkness Walk,, please donate if you can www.afsp.org/

juan ruiz 10-02-2010 08:31 PM

I'm speechless, never knew this was so huge of a problem; I got the answer from my Doctor, I ask him the following question, which have made me understand why people do this a little better

Qs; Why people without any mental problems take their own life?

Answer;

Juan,

People commit suicide when they feel hopeless...that their problem (situation) will never resolve. They have negative future expectancies (the future will be worse) and there is nothing for which to look forward. They see death as a logical decision, but it is a permanent decision for a temporary problem.


________________________________
Dr. D. B. A, Ph.D., FAACP
Board Certified, Clinical Psychology (ABPP)
Fellow, Academy of Psychosomatic Medicine
Diplomate, American Academy of Pain Management
Fellow, American Academy of Clinical Psychology
Fellow, American Psychological Association

flatbutt 10-02-2010 08:33 PM

Lo siento bro. Such a tragedy. I wish you well Juan.

dtw 10-02-2010 08:37 PM

Vaya con Dios. So sorry Juan.

john70t 10-02-2010 08:56 PM

R.I.P. and condolences.
Just get through, and be an anchor.

They say the heart is the stongest muscle after the jaw but it's hard to believe.

Christien 10-02-2010 09:00 PM

Been through this twice with friends, it's brutal. Being angry is a natural response - suicide is extremely selfish in many respects - the people that are left behind are completely devastated. However I think if you're that depressed or hopeless you can't really think of it from that angle. Luckily I avoided seeing it a third time with a close friend who had a slight history of issues (for lack of a better term). We talked about stuff for hours one night and he finally admitted he had been considering suicide. I was surprised at myself when I started to get really angry at him, accusing him of being selfish, but that was the predominant emotion I felt, and in the end, it was him seeing exactly that, and understanding that selfishness, that really made him think twice.

stomachmonkey 10-02-2010 09:01 PM

Sorry Juan.


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