Undeniable Adult Truths

[Hawkeye's-911T]

I preface this by stating the following may belong in an earlier thread of a similar vein. I received this in my mailbox this morning & thought I would like to forward it to some of our "less young" members of whom I am sure will appreciate the humour in it.

With age comes wisdom and then there's .....

Undeniable Adult Truths

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a "sarcasm" font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller/Canadian than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Cheers
JB

[Burnin' oil]

I think my list would be more along the lines of . . .

1. I don't give a rat's ass what people think of what's on my computer;

2. I don't give a rat's ass if I am wrong or right in an argument;

3. I don't give a rat's ass if people don't realize I am being sarcastic because I am always sarcastic and it's not my problem people are too dense to realize that;

4. I don't give a rat's ass on how to fold any a sheet, or a shirt, or anything else, because that's my daughter's job;

5. etc

[tabs]

I discovereed I am closer to God

[Hawkeye's-911T]

I don't give a rat's ass if I am wrong or right in an argument;
I don't give a rat's ass if people don't realize I am being sarcastic because I am always sarcastic and it's not my problem people are too dense to realize that;

Glad to see 'Archie Bunker' is still alive & well

[Taz's Master]

Originally Posted by Burnin' oil

I think my list would be more along the lines of . . .

1. I don't give a rat's ass what people think of what's on my computer;

2. I don't give a rat's ass if I am wrong or right in an argument;

3. I don't give a rat's ass if people don't realize I am being sarcastic because I am always sarcastic and it's not my problem people are too dense to realize that;

4. I don't give a rat's ass on how to fold any a sheet, or a shirt, or anything else, because that's my daughter's job;

5. etc

Being an adult isn't always a day at the beach, but it does put things into perspective.

[Erakad]

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

I think is because if you get a hard hit to the head you're unconscious and it really doesn't hurt right away...but a shot in the balls......

[scottmandue]

Add to 1. Clear out video and magazine collection... we had to do this when a friend died and his mom was going to clean up his apartment. As for me anyone could clear out my house when I'm gone... not that I'm a saint but I am good at covering my tracks.

2 - 4 Agree

5. Ask my wife, she will send you youtube video instructing you... although I still haven't figured it out. Nor have I figured out why having a wrinkled fitted sheet is a problem.

6 - 18 Yes

19. Three

20. Disagree

21 - 24 Agree

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by Burnin' oil

I think my list would be more along the lines of . . .

1. I don't give a rat's ass what people think of what's on my computer;

2. I don't give a rat's ass if I am wrong or right in an argument;

3. I don't give a rat's ass if people don't realize I am being sarcastic because I am always sarcastic and it's not my problem people are too dense to realize that;

4. I don't give a rat's ass on how to fold any a sheet, or a shirt, or anything else, because that's my daughter's job;

5. etc

Dude, you like posted ass four times and I like quoted you posting ass four more times... that is so cool.

[Burnin' oil]

I don't give a rat's ass. BAM!!!!

[scottmandue]

I'm doing research on the exact value of a rats ass so I can give you a quantitative evaluation of your situation.

[Paul_Heery]

The true value of a rat's ass

[dtw]

Glad I'm not the only person who does 14.

[stomachmonkey]

For sure if I had a rat's ass I'd give it away if I could find someone that would take it.

[scottmandue]

Good stuff, but further research is required.


"Are they trading rats' asses on the exchange? Can you buy rat ass futures? Use 'em as chips in Las Vegas? Put 'em in the basket at church?

Heck, I paid good money for a tasty rump roast the other day, rats' asses may be the new Starbucks of ass steaks. You never know, I once paid 300 dollars just to borrow a piece of ass for ONE hour!"


"Fed chairman Ben Bernanke says "We were looking for a new stable pre-set intertemporally constant fixed asset to peg the greenback against, and the rat's ass was it".

The US dollar has been under siege lately due a combination of factors including the sub-prime interest scandal, declining house prices, soaring gold and oil prices"

[Zeke]

I just have one thing to say: If you didn't learn cursive, how the hell would you be able to, "Enter the letters as they are shown in the image above."

[legion]

Originally Posted by tabs

I discovereed I am closer to God

Your whole existence is flawed.

[sc_rufctr]

Scary list. I could "relate" to all of them...

My Favorite: "2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong."

[DavidI]

1. Learning thing the hard way, is sometimes the only way

2. It is usually not as serious or bad as you think

3. Be prepared for good or bad luck, should yours change

4. Getting old is not as fun as I thought it would be

[cgarr]

Number 1 is #1 Thought I was having a heart attack one day and before I headed to the hospital made sure the computer was wiped clean

[scottmandue]

Funny, I'm one of the few people who doesn't do #14

I don't give my cell phone number out to people I don't like... I'm just crazy like that!

I know... I know... for some of you your cell phone is the only phone so you have to give the number out to undesirables.