Probe, Poke, Ignore or Run to Hospital

[Jagshund]

Last week I found a large lump on (in) my calf. Slightly smaller than an unshelled pecan- for those unfamiliar with the sizes of unshelled nuts, it's probably similar in size to a testicle belonging to a 50 pound dog- and before anyone asks, I'm not about to start posting pictures of body parts here 'cause there's no telling where that would end up.

Rather than following the smart course of action, I've decided to collect as much shinola house advice as possible and tally the results. There was a nurse who opined, but her advice was thrown out as soon as her status was discovered. A pair of disc jockeys stopped by the house and suggested I go see a doctor, but you all probably know how I feel about unsolicited advice from radio personalities; their likely sage advice fell on deaf ears.

I'm tempted to stick something into my calf to see if if drains. However, someone pointed out that this could somehow cause a staph infection . . . and I would just HATE to have an infected staph . . . but I'm willing to do it if someone else can prove they've taken such a course of action under similar circumstances.

For the record, wife voted for me to see a doctor. I have not done such a thing in over 13 years for reasons other than having my spine cut on (a couple of times). Yes, it is sore but not to a point where I'm taking more than the usual amount of narcotics.

[porsche4life]

If it is sore then it is a sign that something isn't right... Get your dumbazz to the doctor in the next few weeks....

[phoenix_iii]

no health insurance?

It's like hearing a funny noise from the rear on your p-car. Could be a wheel bearing... which if left unfixed could eventually score the hub and cost more to fix... or could be something that goes away on its own.

Why not bring it (you) somewhere to get an opinion from some one who deals with these more often?

[cbush]

Umm, having recently turned 50, I am pretty much sore all the time, so that logic would not work.

But if you haven't had a physical in 13 years, and you have a strange lump, getting an appointment with your doctor is probably a really good idea.

[vash]

definately, do not go stabbing it. if it is an infection, you dont want to give it a route deeper in.

i would see a doctor. it's probably a fat globule.

and thanks for the 50lbs dog nut size reference. i'll store that away, should it ever come up in conversation..Pecan..got it.

[masraum]

First things first, do you have a hammer drill, 4" hole saw and a blow torch?

I won't go any further until I get the answer to that question.

If you don't have any of that, do you have a large piece of flint, a slightly harder stone, some tinder and 2 sticks to rub together. Those will also work.

[porsche4life]

Originally Posted by cbush

Umm, having recently turned 50, I am pretty much sore all the time, so that logic would not work.

But if you haven't had a physical in 13 years, and you have a strange lump, getting an appointment with your doctor is probably a really good idea.

Actually the soreness is something wrong... Its just not something that can be cured... Sore joints are from the cushioning in them being worn out from age. The human body wasn't designed to last as long as we are living now. Things wear out....

[UconnTim97]

Please video any home medical procedures so we can all learn from them.

[Rikao4]

just a 'little' rust.....
forget about it...
R or L not that important either..
you do like automatics ?
another downside..
your pants will still cost the same..
no discount for one leggers..

sorry green fonti no worki..
go see a Dr.

Rika

[masraum]

Originally Posted by cbush

Umm, having recently turned 50, I am pretty much sore all the time, so that logic would not work.

But if you haven't had a physical in 13 years, and you have a strange lump, getting an appointment with your doctor is probably a really good idea.

Or, at least, double check your life insurance. You're married right, the missus went on vacation not too long ago. Make sure you're ready to leave her enough money to go on a vaca next year too...

[Jagshund]

Forgot to mention that the soreness could be from the 500 . . . no, 700 pound squats I was doing two days ago. And I do have health insurance, but I don't feel that it's fair to the poor that I actually use it so I post my medical issues here so that we can solve them as a village.

And it cannot be a fat globule- I'm not FAT, I'm BIG-BONED!

edit . . . now that I think about it, it kinda FEELS like a 50 pound dog's testicle . . .

[Pazuzu]

Originally Posted by 1968Cayman

Forgot to mention that the soreness could be from the 500 . . . no, 700 pound squats I was doing two days ago.

Dude, you blew your guts outta your leg, like that weightlifter on Youtube...

Originally Posted by 1968Cayman

Forgot to mention that the soreness could be from the 500 . . . no, 700 pound squats I was doing two days ago.

It's a skin tag, tie a string around it tightly, it'll fall off in a few days. No, I don't mean your leg, yes, it'll fall off too.

edit . . . now that I think about it, it kinda FEELS like a 50 pound dog's testicle . . .

Erm...

[vash]

Originally Posted by 1968Cayman

Forgot to mention that the soreness could be from the 500 . . . no, 700 pound squats I was doing two days ago. And I do have health insurance, but I don't feel that it's fair to the poor that I actually use it so I post my medical issues here so that we can solve them as a village.

And it cannot be a fat globule- I'm not FAT, I'm BIG-BONED!

edit . . . now that I think about it, it kinda FEELS like a 50 pound dog's testicle . . .

no my dad was a muscle head. he posed in muscle and fitness, when it was another mag.."health and fitness?" (not bad for a wiry chinese guy). he had a half golf ball sized lump on his back. it was a fat globule. like a fat cell gone rogue. when i was a tiny kid, i would drive him into beating me by sneaking up on him and poking his globule. happy he was not particularly fast. i would poke and run. i was an annoying little effer.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by vash

i was an annoying little effer.

"was"??



j/k

:wavey:

[vash]

hey, i'm not little!

[Jagshund]

And I don't have fat globules!

[cgarr]

maybe you had a nut drop? Does it move around? I have one under my left shoulder that moved around and is as hard as a rock and still do. After all the scans it was nothing, asked if I wanted it removed but did not since it was nothing important "but you never know?

[flatbutt]

I used to get these weird lumps under my wrists after working out. A trainer called it a nerve knot. He wacked it with a hard cover book. It went away but I never sought the trainer's advice again.

[Laneco]

Once I got over the shock that you might think more people here are familiar with the testicle size of a 50 pound dog than a pecan, followed by your admission that it feels like a dog testicle (which indicates you've felt one), I thought I'd put something hopefully productive into the conversation....

Had a buddy who over did exercise and ruptured a small blood vessel in his leg which was slightly painful but not excessively and seemed to be a globulous lump. Turned out to be a rather large (he was just feeling part of it) blod clot that left untreated could easly have killed him.

Weird lumps need a doctor's attention, if only to rule out possible problems.

angela

[RWebb]

you should get an MD to look at it

best would a very hot, sexy female MD bending over the lump - post pics