Help Me! I am Afraid of Flying!

[Shawn 357]

Over the last 8 years I have become afraid of flying and it is only getting worse. I never was afraid of flying before but I have gradually gotten to the point that I am having a troubles getting on a plane big or small. I have never had any bad experiences on planes and can't figure out what has caused this. This is a problem that I need to get over but don't know how. I am desperate enough that I am flying with a friend from San Diego to Dallas area (with a couple fuel stops) in a small two seater plane just hoping that maybe this will scare me to the point that I'll get over it. Does hypnosis work? Any suggestions from people who have overcome this? I am willing to try just about anything!

Thanks,
Shawn

[Rick Lee]

Small planes don't scare me, as I'm upfront and feel almost in control. Large commercial jets scare the hell out of me and I have had some bad experiences. But then I tend to have totally irrational fears and not enough fear of the really dangerous stuff.

[Shawn 357]

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

Small planes don't scare me, as I'm upfront and feel almost in control. Large commercial jets scare the hell out of me and I have had some bad experiences. But then I tend to have totally irrational fears and not enough fear of the really dangerous stuff.

My fears are irrational to say the least. My hobbies are dirt biking, off road trucks, racing, motorcycles, etc. but for some reason planes scare the hell out of me!

I know that Xanax and Bloody Marys help me but I don't want to have to get loaded everytime I get on a plane.

[Rick Lee]

Well, what are you scared of? Turbulence scares me. I'm fine when the flight is smooth. Taking off in an ancient DC-9 a few mos. ago, we could all smell the wiring burning and everyone was looking at each other. The smell went away after a bit, but that was not fun. How about flying over oceans? I don't like that too much. I was sitting on the runway in Hong Kong once and it was raining so hard that the plane was shaking on the ground. Loved that takeoff. I try to think about statistics and probability when I get scared. Not only is a crash extremely unlikely once you're beyond takeoff or before landing, but most folks survive most plane crashes. You can read some amazing stuff, but I know irrational fears are not soothed by rational thinking.

[TerryBPP]

I developed a panic fear of flying over a 5 year period, started around 23. The more I flew the worse it got. Flop sweating, trembling and crazy thoughts of crashing. After awhile I was putting off vacation that had to do with flying. When I had to fly I would pop a few zanax and have a few drinks to get by, helped a little.

You know what finally made me SOOOOOOO much less fearful of flying? Getting divorced!!!! I flew less than a month after getting divorced and found I was much more relaxed with none of the physical symptoms. I started to ween off the meds and booze and very quickly I was back to normal. I did not associate the two until....

I was listening to a radio psychologist about a year ago. He was talking to a lady with my exact symptoms. He said told her, you have an outside stressor that you must eliminate before your fear will go away. He said it was the same for most irrational fears that develop late in life.

Amazing how the mind works.

[Shawn 357]

I am scared from the moment we take off until we are stopped. It doesn't bother me if we are over land or sea but knowing that I'm really high up gets me. It helps if I don't open the window. Sharp turn or turbulence also get my heart racing.

The worst part about this is that my Wife really likes to travel and me not wanting to fly makes that very difficult. We are driving up to San Francisco in about a month even though we have a bunch of free airline miles just because of this issue.

[Shawn 357]

Originally Posted by TerryBPP

I developed a panic fear of flying over a 5 year period, started around 23. The more I flew the worse it got. Flop sweating, trembling and crazy thoughts of crashing. After awhile I was putting off vacation that had to do with flying. When I had to fly I would pop a few zanax and have a few drinks to get by, helped a little.

You know what finally made me SOOOOOOO much less fearful of flying? Getting divorced!!!! I flew less than a month after getting divorced and found I was much more relaxed with none of the physical symptoms. I started to ween off the meds and booze and very quickly I was back to normal. I did not associate the two until....

I was listening to a radio psychologist about a year ago. He was talking to a lady with my exact symptoms. He said told her, you have an outside stressor that you must eliminate before your fear will go away. He said it was the same for most irrational fears that develop late in life.

Amazing how the mind works.

This is interesting and I'll definetly have to give this some thought. I'll take a fiery crash over a divorce because I've got my dream girl but maybe it has something to do with financial stress/work stress. Flop sweating, trembling and crazy thoughts perfectly describes how I feel when I fly.

[TerryBPP]

Originally Posted by Shawn 357

This is interesting and I'll definetly have to give this some thought. I'll take a fiery crash over a divorce because I've got my dream girl but maybe it has something to do with financial stress/work stress. Flop sweating, trembling and crazy thoughts perfectly describes how I feel when I fly.

Dont take the divorce thing literally, lol. Could be anything you have been avoiding or can't deal with.

[steve185]

My hobbies are dirt biking, off road trucks, racing, motorcycles

Your fear of flying is probably because you are not in control. If you look at your hobbies you are the driver and making the decisions. I don't care for flying in large planes but when I am up front in a small plane or helicopter I love it, probably because I know what's happening.

[BRPORSCHE]

Ya know Terry this sounds strangely similar. I used to love fying, now I feel mortal. Once I get on the plane I am very twitchy and nervous.

When the plane takes off and I hear the engines whineing at low altitude I always freak out. For absolutely no reason at all. I don't let anyone notice that I am uncomfy, but I am obviously sweating and clenching my fists.

It hasn't gotten to the point where I avoid flying, but I am afraid later on in life this will just grow.

Eff I am going crazy.

[Shawn 357]

Originally Posted by steve185

Your fear of flying is probably because you are not in control. If you look at your hobbies you are the driver and making the decisions. I don't care for flying in large planes but when I am up front in a small plane or helicopter I love it, probably because I know what's happening.

That is probably a big part of it. The last time I was in the front of a real small plane was 12 years ago and I was perfectly comfortable but I was still comfortable flying at the time. I guess we will find out in a couple weeks when I'm in my friends plane with the controls in front of me whether I'm afraid of flying or not being in control.

[McLovin]

There's people in the world getting shot at, blown up, starving, i.e. people with real fears and worries.

Get on the damn plane, man it up and stop being a big puzzy.

[Shawn 357]

Originally Posted by TerryBPP

Dont take the divorce thing literally, lol. Could be anything you have been avoiding or can't deal with.

I think I'm going to sit down tonight and try figuring out if there is something in my life that I'm avoiding or can't deal with. Should be fun trying to pin point that...in the last ten years I had a kid at 18, got married, divorced, was a single Dad, remarried, bought a house, had another kid, started a business and the list goes on.

[Shawn 357]

Originally Posted by McLovin

Get on the damn plane, man it up and stop being a big puzzy.

That's exactly what I have been doing for a long time and it's only been getting worse.

Come on McLovin, give me some credit....I am choosing to do a 10 hour flight in an experimental and a return flight on a big jet for no other reason but to try getting over this.

[McLovin]

lol, just trying the "tough love" approach, see if it works. good luck.

[Shawn 357]

Originally Posted by McLovin

lol, just trying the "tough love" approach, see if it works. good luck.

Thanks, I feel better already!

[slodave]

Hi Shawn,

I developed a fear of flying myself. I've grown up around small planes and have been a passenger in commercial's all my life as well. I've never liked being in the back of a jet, but I handled it fine for many years. Around 30 or so, something happened and it became harder for me to get in a plane. I would dread having to fly from LAX to Europe. Last time I went, we were stuck in turbulence for about 2 hours over the Atlantic. It was rough for me, but I made it. I also have had problems in my dads small Bonanza. I even had an issue with him when we fly to Aspen a few weeks ago.

I tried a hypnotherapist before my last Europe trip, but I don't think that works on me. Something to consider though....

I started taking flying lessons last week and I am at the point where I need to practice stalls. Very unnerving still, but it's getting better. Especially when I am at the controls. We even did some spins today. I'm doing okay now, but I think it's mostly because I am at the controls and have so much info thrown at me, I don't have time to get nervous.

Do remember, the plane is designed to withstand soooooo much abuse more than your brain will allow. When your brain is telling you "the wings are going to rip off"... Don't worry, the plane is still happy as a clam.

Good luck! You'll be safe! Don't read the news when you see articles on plane crashes, just makes it worse.

This may get a little unnerving though, especially if you just wake up from a nap..

[id10t]

Probably stress and anger over the security theater...

[Heel n Toe]

Shawn... dude... you're not afraid of flying... you're afraid of crashing.

There's a huge difference.

Being afraid of crashing is not irrational... it's completely healthy.

When you get off the ground in a plane, there's no way to know if you'll touch back down safely.

You said, "My hobbies are dirt biking, off road trucks, racing, motorcycles, etc. but for some reason planes scare the hell out of me!"

Planes scare you because if they crash, you're more likely to get more seriously hurt or dead than if you crash any of your ground-based hobby vehicles.

Just remember, you're not afraid of flying. Repeat it to yourself as the plane is taking off: "I'm not afraid of flying... I'm afraid of crashing."

Heh heh. I don't like flying, but I've done so little of it, I've never worked up a paralyzing fear (of crashing). Went up in a small plane once and have only been on two commercial round trip flights... Columbia to NYC through ATL (and back) and Charlotte to Phoenix through DFW (and back).

I actually like the visual/spatial experience of it and love to be next to a window. Not white knuckled at all.

Any anxiety I have is... hard to put into words... but the best way I can explain it is leaving this earth before I'm ready to... sort of like not wanting to leave before unfinished business is done. But that still doesn't express it. But I think I'm past that now.

For instance, about 7 1/2 years ago, when my present wife and I got married, I would not have wanted to fly because we had just begun our life together, and even though I knew the overwhelming statistics of flying safety, I would've just rather not flown, knowing that if something went wrong, it's a bad place to be.

I didn't want to be on the news as the sad story of the newly weds who were so happy, etc.

I could fly now without being very concerned about that... maybe that doesn't make any sense and doesn't help you at all... it's just my experience.

I've heard great things about hypnosis helping people stop smoking... two very good friends did it... might be worth checking into for your fear of crashing, too.

[Joeaksa]

Hey, if you really want to get scared, I can take care of that very easy. Course you will be bound and gagged in the baggage compartment, but we can handle it...

Course some of my copilots feel the same at times but they get over it! A few minutes on oxygen helps...