So You Wannabe a Musician . . .

[imcarthur]

I am writing this from my lovely hotel room in the scenic city of Anaheim - across the street from Mouseland & 2 blocks from the Anaheim CC - the Mecca of the music biz: The NAMM Show. This is my 1st visit to NAMM – usually I am found only at the playback stage of the entertainment industry (in Consumer Electronics) but over the last 3 years I have been creeping into the Pro side of the business. To fill the void in between visitations to our booths, I observed the attendees swirling around the display booths. It became obvious that while musicians maintain a rebellious artistic attitude, visually they all were very recognizable. To be a proper musician – or a wannabe musician – you have to wear the uniform.

So to help the new initiates, I thought that I would help.

Look down this list & if you recognize yourself with these visual attributes, than you have real potential to be a proper musician.

You must:

Have long hair. Long stringy seemingly unwashed hair is better but a lush mane or dead straight locks are fine too. Ponytails are great for that controlled look.

Have dyed hair. Here your only restriction is your imagination or daring. Blue, red, yellow, orange, jet black, white or any combo . . . go ahead, go crazy. Extra points if you spike it or shave random parts of your head. The best examples are Mohawk or pointy Mohawk styles. A rainbowed side-to-side 2’ spiked Mohawk is the ultimate expression, although random or patterned spikes erupting from an otherwise shaved head is also a bonus.

If you are cursed with short hair or you are in transition as it grows out, you must plastered it down strangely or dye portions. Shaping it in plastered down spike-like patterns is allowable.

If your hair is grey and/or you are balding, than you can still wear it as above, but you will obviously mark yourself as a geriatric (aka veteran) musician.

Headgear. Now headgear is a personal decision but there are guidelines. Fedoras rule. Turned up. Turned down. Sides only up or sides only down. Be creative. Any color or material works. Toques work if you are young. Big or small, either all-head types or back of head varieties. Pillbox-style or plain baseball caps are also fine. Berets also are allowed & can be worn in any way as above – although the backward style seems to be the most popular. The many variations of cowboy hats are OK but you better think about moving to Nashville. Headbands can work as well or other attachments that constraint your mane.

Facial hair. Once again, the options here abound. Mustaches in any shape of size are allowed. Handlebar, waxed handlebar, Hitler patches (above or below the mouth), Fu Manchu’s – you get the point. ZZ Top beards, scruffy beards with patches, complete dyes or dyed patches are all fine.

Clothing. Once again, follow your creative side. All black is a standard. Leather is standard but realize that leather pants or shorts only really work on hot girls. Vests are cool, but Australian bush coats can only be worn once you have made it & people won’t laugh. Tees rule, but tour Tees are forbidden unless you actually were a roadie or performer ON the tour.

Other accessories. Studs & piercings are wonderful. Earrings in any number shape or size. Ear plugs – yeah just like the African tribesmen are growing in popularity. Bullet belts or the fake glam chrome imitations. Chains big & small – either dangling or pulled tight.

Footwear is another important area of expression but Keds or cowboy boots dominate here so stick with the winners.

Well. I must go off to prepare for another day of aural assault . . . I will report more as I see it . . .

Ian

[Rick Lee]

Poor Ian was stuck at his booth and only saw the dregs of society, while I got to walk around and see all the other exhibits. Thanks again for the great hook-up, Ian.

There were some scary characters there for sure. But there were plenty of hotties and normal looking people too. I had a meaningful chat about bikes with Rikki Rocket from Poison. My highlight of the day was seeing Alan White from Yes. Saw Victor Wooten, Steve Morse, Dave LaRue, Yngwie Malmsteen, Steve Vai, Ed Shaughnessey, Phil Collen, Leslie West, Michael Schenker and many more. Great event.

[fritzgator]

"Tees rule, but tour Tees are forbidden unless you actually were a roadie or performer ON the tour."
Further tour etiquette, never wear swag from the current tour.
Rick, you're dating yourself. The youngsters are wondering who this Leslie West chick is. I haven't been to NAMM in 14 yrs, yet the names are the same.On a scale of 10, how nuts did MS seem?I've seen him around 8ish, very interesting.
So whats new & cool this yr?

[Rick Lee]

Michael Schenker wasn't playing, just signing autographs. I'm not real into new gizmos and all. I had acquired all the guitar toys I ever wanted about 15 yrs. ago. However, Gibson did have something cool. They're coming out with remakes of the old early 80's Kramer guitars later this year. They had a few on display and they were absolutely identical to the hold hockeystick and earlier headstocks with original Floyd Rose, etc. It's going to be around $700 and, IIRC, they were more than that back in 1985. So it's a great bang for the buck and I will own one.

[imcarthur]

It was interesting. The crowd in Hall A was nothing like the crowd in E - we had booths in both. The freaks were in C, D & E. While going out for butts, I saw Stevie Wonder & the GaGa impersonator almost stabbed me with her inflated breasts as I rounded a corner. I saw a lot of people that created buzzes & crowds but I am hopeless at recognizing any of them. One of my cohorts talked with a guy from Megadeath. At the Tec awards, Alan Parsons was a presenter (I hear he is a dick) & Lindsay Buckingham accepted his Les Paul award.

The show is done & we packed up. I go home tomorrow after 2 weeks out . . . I am really sick of hotels & restaurant meals. The next big show is the boring Broadcaster show in Vegas in April. Then NAMM Nashville in June although it looks like we will do a studio event in Nashville in late Feb.

No problem, Rick. Next year I'll try to organize earlier for free tickets. Todd & his girlfriend popped by as well. It was good to meet some more left coast (and desert) Pelicans.

Ian

[azasadny]

I used to attend the NAMM shows , back when Larry Linkin was the CEO and I provided IT consulting and seminars. The people-watching was almost as entertaining as the music!

[nostatic]

Thanks again to Ian for the hospitality and the exchange of stories. I missed Victor Wooten on Sat, but got email from his wife 5am on Sun (because I'm going to his camp in March...strike those bad thoughts) saying they were just in Santa Monica. I was going to email her back and invite them to the nostatic trio gig in Marina del Rey last night. That would have been a hoot.

In an example of what is wrong with the world, there were tons of long lines for people wanting autographs from aging rockers (plenty of hair dye in play) with sagging tats, and young bucks that I didn't recognize with shaved heads and not-yet-sagging tats. Then we walked by the small Smith basses booth and the g/f sees "1:00 - Freddie Washington" written on the small easel. It was 1:15, and lo and behold, "Ready" Freddie Washington was sitting there talking with a friend. There was one other guy from Smith basses hanging out and that was it. Nobody noticed. Freddie grabbed a 5-string Smith and started playing. It was sick. Huge, fat, wide grooves. No flash. No 32nd note runs, no slappa-wanka-wanka crap. No one noticed. I stood there for 15 minutes mesmerized getting a clinic from 5' away.

This is Freddie:

[azasadny]

Gotta love that! I got to meet Vic Wooten and he is a gentleman! I really miss attending the NAMM shows and the concerts. I saw Spinal Tap with Greg Bissonnette, Little Feat, Muriel Anderson's Guitar Night, etc... Fantastic experience!

[imcarthur]

You may have noticed the Sound Control guys circulating with SPL meters. Booths were limited to 85 dB. Abuse that & you have to be in a sound room next year. We got friendly with them & they told us that there was a fistfight between too exhibitors over noise that sent one guy to the hospital for stitches. Next year they plan to remove the stools from the Drum area to discourage people from sitting down & banging the drums. In the last hour of the show we asked them to give us an SPL reading on our system at max volume: 113 dB

My Favorite Product: A player steel drum



Runner Up Favorite Product: VW Bus Record Player



One hour after the show closes, this is what a convention hall looks like:



Ian