Drained, tired, sad
 

Just before the holidays I spoke to a dear friend of mine. He called very upset about his older brother, who was very ill and they did not expect him to make it to the new year.

Called and texted him a couple of times to see how he was holding up but no response.

Texted his wife last night to see how they were both doing.

Short and sweet of her reply was, brother is doing better but my friend has the same condition and had just been moved from ICU to a hospice and she'd let me know about the memorial services when the time came.

He did not want anyone to know and wanted no visitors.

I got in the car this morning and drove down to Austin to see him. Told the nurse I knew he did not want visitors but please ask and if he says no that's OK as long as he knew that I had come.

He let me in, he was heavily sedated and had considerable trouble focusing, he said my name, said he was happy to see me, at one point he was just staring off in space then he glanced at me and gave me a thumbs up, after a couple of minutes he said he needed some sleep so I hugged him and said goodbye.

I hope he remembers that I was there

He's only 40, his son is 5 and his daughter is 2.

I'm devastated.

Good on you for going to see him. Your good friend.

Sorry to hear of your friends condition. Good of you to make the effort to see him. I'm sure he appreciates your visit. Don't know what else to say, but wish him well.

Sorry to hear this. You did the right thing in going to see him, tough for you but I'm certain he appreciated the gesture.

Sorry to hear about your friend, and the shock that you are going thru. Its good that you went to be with him.

I just lost a long time friend and surfing buddy. He reacted similar as your friend to the news. He had a minor surgery during which it was determined that he had Lou Gehrig's
disease and it started advancing fast. When I called to see how the recovery was going. He told me that he had a minor stroke during the surgery, which explained his slurred speech. Well a few months later he pass away after rapidly deteriorating. It was only after he died that I learned the real story. I guess he didn't want his friends to see him in decline. I was bummed not to have been able to go over to the Big Island and hang out with him, while it was possible. Its hard to know what someone is feeling at such a time?

Hang in there Brother
Richard

So sorry to hear, it must be terribly hard to see but I'm sure your visit was some comfort.

So sorry to hear your story. You did a good thing.

Be happy you got to spend a few minutes with him. I am sure it meant a lot to him.

It would to me.

Sorry to hear it. I have a fairly good friend in the same situation with less than a month to live. She is 56, two years younger than I am.

I am so sorry. Peace be with you.

good lord, only 40 with a 5er and a 2er. down the road i think your efforts to see him will provide a great sense on peace. hopefully he pulls through like his brother

Awful to hear. You're a good man for visiting. That's never easy. I wish there were more people like you in the world.

Ughhh... that's tough. Kudos for going to see him... glad it worked out for you to go to the room. A true friend.

He knew you were there at the time... whether the sedation takes that memory away from him later isn't important... for that moment, he knew you came.

I can't imagine this scenario. I'm 43 with kids close to the same age.


Good on you for insisting on seeing him.

You made the right choice to go and you would have forever regretted it if you had chosen not to. In dealing with issues like these, I'm always reminded of a saying I heard a long time ago:

"Crises refine life. In them you discover what you are."

Be well SM. You did good, REAL good...

SM,

At times all you can do is do what you have to do. Partly for him, partly for you.

I lost a good friend this past summer (cancer) and all I could do was take my guitar in and sing the songs we had played and written together, When the end came, he didn't want anyone to see him so weak and sick.
Four years ago it was another long-time friend. Once his diagnosis of ALS came through and he started deteriorating, he wouldn't even let his family see him.

I'm not sure why some are like that, whether it is a fear of showing weakness or a fear of acknowledging this is really happening. You can't change things, all you can do is what you did.

Be there.

Thoughts and prayers to you.
Les

SM you did the right thing. We all have way to many fair weather friends. Good of you to go when he needed you. Your hug meant more to him then you will ever know. Put your mind at ease.

Just got the call that he passed.

Thanks all for the support.