if i want to be a supervisor, i need to learn to keep my cool.
 

it find it very very difficult. i hate confrontation, and disputes. but in my job, it is part of the deal. my contractor for the most part is very professional. but one field guy loves to try to intimidate me to get his way. yesterday, i had a field meeting with some of my coworkers. this guy walked into the middle of our "huddle", and got up into my face.

didnt help that he argues like a 6-year old. once he started cussing, i just walked away. i wanted to release the kraken.

the huddle was his stage & safety net..
it's best to deliver threats of mayhem in private...

Rika

know what you mean cliff. the PM's often promise the world in the trailer only to have the field foremen bust balls from sun up to sun down. part of our job is to learn how to determine how best to beat their mind F with a superior jedi-mind F's.....

hmm, depends on what the relationship between the two of you is.

dealing with an outside agency right now where one guy just rubbed me the wrong way from the start

was having a bad day so gave him the benefit and let him slide

couple more exchanges and it became apparent that I just don't like his style

he is no longer on the project

If you have the actual authority, you should practice saying ''Thank you for your input, but this is the way we are going to do it, and I expect it to be right the first time.''.

You can also say ''I am going to call our boss, and see what he says.''

BTW, sometimes going off on jerk is a really good policy.

Kind of disagree.

The people around you are aware of the situation.

I think it sends a much stronger message when the offending individuals behavior changes without a public outburst.

I used to be the blow my stack and call em out right then and there guy but over time learned the one that shows maturity and professionalism wins in the end.

If you're the boss here, lay down the law or else you're not the boss here. My own boss acts all tough in groups settings and rolls over in private, one-one settings. But after 10 yrs. with the guy, I know he's not looking for a debate or opposing arguments when he says what he wants. Got to pick your battles, but man, don't be a doormat.

Learned along time ago to be tough in the start. Let them see you start to go off and real it back. They then know that you can and wont have to very often. Ran a warehouse years ago. Very different that an office setting. The problem is when you bring non office bullies in to an office setting.

Don't EVER let it get personal.

Some guys are used to being able to bully people into getting their way. Let 'em spout, keep it professional and ALWAYS take the high road. It will (quickly) gain you a reputation for being a professional with the added benefit of it being at the expense of a boorish blowhard (makes them look all the worse by comparison).

You can hold your line and be "tough" without yelling, vulgarities, explitives or losing your composure. If you can be calculating, deliberate and methodical in the face of the pressure, you'll be feared and respected. Don't let them get to you.

It's only a job.

Vash, I think you are involved in public construction projects. So am I. Labor relations. It's rather interesting, eh? There is no shortage of blusteriness in heavy construction. Nearly every single management person is a classic, natural-born bully. Some hide it better than others. Construction management people, from before the first day on the project, are poking and prodding to see what they can get away with and what they cannot. Testing limits. So......you have to answer their curiosity right up front. As the owner, you are in the driver's seat. At least, so long as you clarify your role. If a power vacuum develops, the construction company guys are happy to fill it.

As far as personal confrontations go, you have to keep in mind one of the most basic of management principles: The first one to lose their temper........loses. Never do that. Ever. Delivery your message without a hint of emotion whatsoever.

Construction guys do not have thin skins. Or at least, they need to develop a thick hide if they don't have one yet. So.....you could pull this guy aside and privately put him on notice that if he continues to interrupt your meetings and lose his temper, you will ask his supervisors to remove him from the project. That way, at any future time, your next conversation can be with his supervisor. If he cannot keep his cool, he needs to leave.

One more time.....you're not going to win by getting drawn into playing his game. HE needs to play YOUR game.

I assume this guy that got into your face is a subcontractor. Never ever let someone get into your face in front of the people you have to work. Meet whatever nastiness they put out with equal or greater nastiness. You lose the respect of the people you have to work to get a job done, you probably won't get the job done. Some people are just bullys and will push you as far as you let them. Let them push someone else. All this talk about "moral high ground" doesn't work too well in the heavy construction industry.

I disagree, Larry. Getting into a testosterone contest with a construction company foreman (I'm guessing he's not a Superintendent) might be fun, but would waste time. As you say, he may be working for a subcontractor. In that case, it should be a snap to get him removed.

I never yell or loose my cool. It doesn't work. My subs and I have a really great relationship. They don't yell neither, but we all swear for fun. I find, with people like that, you have to nip it in the butt early so they don't disrupt the flow of the job. This guy is bad blood. I say the same thing everytime when this kind of crap happens. "When you are done yelling and swearing, we can talk in private. None of what you said have anything to do with the project. You do know this is still my job site and not yours?" Right after he stops yelling. Set him straight if you are the boss but in private so he had no one to shoe off to.

just an update. this guy, field superintendent, just found out that i am stepping into a position where i can make his life hell. he chased me down, to apologize. which i graciously accepted.

i'm learning.

my next thread will be about ulcers. :)

His ulcers, not yours I hope.

Yup.

Now give him a high visibility task that he can excel at and you'll have a loyal foot soldier.

If you're at the tunnel on Monday, look for a white 911E. I'll be driving it to the site that day. Better to check out a classic P-car than argue with some clown.

I guess this is such a broad area to cover with so many different personalities that I am thinking a one rule for all won't work. I have turned the other cheek as some have suggested and lowered the wrath of God on others. My point was you cannot let anyone challenge your authority. It makes you look weak to the people you are trying to get some work out of. They have to look up to you or you are just "one of the guys". Plus, they will see Billy Bob get away with cussing you out and they will want to try you. Lots of construction workers are young and some are illiterate so you MUST maintain their respect. I realize upper management problems would, of course, be handled differently. I came from a family that had been in the construction business since 1927, thought there had to be a better way to make a living and got into aviation. Had some health problems eventually that could have grounded me so I went back to construction. It's a great thing to do. Everything has to be built! I have been everything from an operator to a superintendent with 125 people working under me (had 5 good foreman to help). A few years ago I decided to do nothing but operate because of the problems we're discussing here. It's a young man's game and I'm now 59. About the most drama I want now is from my 944!

There it is.

I can be a dick or not, pretty much the other persons call. I react to meet the mission, business or otherwise.

Being angry does not mean lack of control...often quite the opposite.