This thread reminds me I need to buy more ammunition

looks like we run the full spectrum.

my wife LOVES surprises, but i cannot seem to figure out to buy a worthy gift without her seeing the charge on my CC. i think i may just get her brother to buy "whatever" and give him cash afterwards.

as far as hobby-purchases..i run it by the little lady first. she rarely protests, so i dont ask very often. works for us.

Your SO, your CC, and your FWB should all be kept as far apart as possible. So I'm told...

Some oversight on my purchasing might actually be a good thing.

Phase 1: Toss cash in gun safe
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Buy stuff with cash in gun safe...that goes back into said gun safe.

She pays the bills. That is why we have an 825 Credit rating. It would be minus 825 if it were my responsibility. I called her to tell her about a gift I bought her in Istanbul a month or so ago. I knew it (earrings) would elicit an exception call from the CC company which would go to her. "You spent how much?!!!! Oh, its for me, OK".

two of my coworkers are married to each other, both under the age of 30. DINKS. they're grossing over 320K between them, with both of them making the same salary. the dude is given $100 a week as his allowance. he is fine with it, flat out admitting that the wife is good with money, and he's not. makes me chuckle.

Wife and I have one account for savings and checking and one CC. We have weekly or so meetings regarding our monthly finances. We share the responsibilities, while I work a full time job she is a stay at home mom. We don't question each others financial decisions often. We made an agreement early on that we would consult if the purchase was more than $300. We still do that but if I want to buy her something I pull the cash out and do it, she might ask me about it before I tell her I pulled the cash out but mostly in those cases we don't explain ourselves and that is OK.

It works pretty well. Plus, she is a CPA - in the beginning of our marriage I did abdicate a lot of the responsibility (willingly) but after the kids I took over. She abdicated willingly. Now, we both do it - it seems healthy.

Money matters.....
 

+1 ! My wife and I use the same process. The only difference is that all of my retirement and SS money go into the "house" account and I find ways to make extra cash for toys. As long as the "house" is happy, everyone is happy!

Same here!
 

Same here!!

We both run the financials in our household. I handle bill payment and the bank accounts, my wife maintains spreadsheets of our household expenses.

We have each have separate accounts, and we have a "house" account that we both contribute to. Saves a LOT of arguments about money.

You need to go to gun shows with an empty case. If she asks what you have in the case when yer leaving just say "one I'm trying to sell". When you come home with the case again she will just think you didn't sell it. I have found that after you have a half dozen spoons they lose track anyway.

Same here :
I can buy what i want ,
whenever i want,
as long as i OK'ed it with me first!

I have a GF but she doesn't live with me so she gets no info about my finances.
Including what I own or have saved/invested.

I'm paranoid about control that I think comes from getting married young and having my ex wife initially control the finances.
It was a disaster. Nothing got paid on time and after 5 years of marriage we had almost zero savings.

Then I said enough is enough and took over... There was a never ending argument about money and priorities after that.
Looking back I should have done it earlier but I fell into that common comfort zone for men... Were the missus takes care of everything.

I am always completely honest with my purchases.

I'm just not always very forthcoming.... :D

angela

I used to be in the "easier to ask forgiveness afterwards" camp, but that didn't really work out for me that well. The latest one with the s/o was me saying that in fact I had ordered the 5-figure bass that we'd previously discussed and I'd dismissed as crazy. She said, "well, I know you'll use it, cool, when will it be done?"

Exactly, I have no one to answer to about my finances.

5-FIGURE or 5-FINGER?

sadly the former :eek:

Wow! That's a lot of Bass!

I find it funny and hard to imagine the way some folks feel about this stuff. The way I feel about it as noted above seems like the only way that I could be successful in a relationship. My wife could probably tolerate more irresponsibility on my part but I couldn't be with someone I simply didn't trust.

My wife isn't a shopper - I'm quite lucky in that respect. She's more frugal than I am in fact. I spend on my toys and save as much as I can mostly. She saves and doesn't spend on toys almost to a fault. Everyone needs to live right?

I've been in a relationship in the past where we had separate accounts and that just didn't feel like we were all in - it was easy to walk away. I've been in a relationship where we shared and they completely hosed me - took years to recover financially and mentally.

I met my wife and one of her first questions to me before we got serious was 'what's your credit like'.

I thought it was funny at the time...

I handle all the bill paying and finances in our house. No way I could turn that 'control' over to someone else. All the Porsche parts get shipped to the shop. She asks occasionally and throws it in my face about me 'hiding' things, but we have simply agreed to disagree on the subject. No way in heck could i tell her what i really spend!! That being said, i rarely use house-hold money from our primary paychecks for parts. Its usually money I have made on the side at the shop or on my website business.

Mine knows all. She does all the finances for both the household and the businesses. Wouldn't have it any other way.

I usually tell her not to look at the finances right before XMAS. I'm always late getting her gifts anyway.

My wife is our money handler. She knows all. I would be dead broke without her.

Ian

IMHO....

If you're earning the money YOU should be doing the budgeting and making the decisions.
If your S.O. is also earning money then she gets a say as appropriate in budgeting...
So many times I've heard guys tell me their wives control the money in their house and that they don't know what they're worth!

Time to man up and take control of YOUR money.

Don't worry, Peter. I stand behind her with my club as she is paying our bills. Any funny business & I whack her.

Ian

My first wife....
 

was a big spender and I tried to keep her happy. Too much borrowed. But was I keeping myself happy doing this ? No. We divorced way back and fortunately had no kids. My second wife is more conservative like me, spends less. I control the money and we have separate bank accounts but also have a joint account. The only trouble we have now is with the Porsche - she does not like the repair bills, nor do I but I have read a recent post and say I dont womanize(really I dont!), dont smoke, dont do drugs , drink in moderation etc etc. I feel really lucky with the second wife as we do spend a lot of time together walking, holidays etc. If you have a good wife, she can save u thousands or a bad one can cost u thousands. Been there , done that.

Married a woman who kept multi-million companies in the black, so it seemed like a no-brainer to let her do finances. She saw credit as no big deal. We never had available money, and going in debt. I took over the finances, and we now have money, and no debt (household income has dropped in half during this period also). Any major expenses (over $300) are discussed first. Once a month we have a "state of the union" meeting, and she knows everything so she could step in should something happen to me. Neither one of us are shoppers, so there's never a complaint when the other wants to spend some money.

No..... does not understand 1973 passion projects



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Everything but the hookers and blow!:D