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How to wrap a cat for Christmas
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this is not going to end well.
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Giftwrap cat just don't give a ****.
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One of my facourite cartoons was a guy with a cat at FedEx, and he wanted to know how far he could send the cat for $20.
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I want to see them wrap a honeybadger...
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I would like to see someone try that with one of my psycho cats. I could make the follow up video of how wrap multiple lacerations....
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That poor old timer could hardly walk to the paper. Old cats have a lot of patience with stupid people.
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It usually goes more like this.
Wrapping Presents With A Cat
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present. 2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door. 3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe. 4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper. 5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard. 6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc. 7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed. 8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string. 9. Remove present from bag. 10. Remove cat from bag. 11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present. 12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size. 13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight. 14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore paper. 15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came out of. 16. Place present on cut-to-size paper. 17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry. 18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape. 19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors. 20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible. 21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon. 22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn. 23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end. 24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper. 25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper. 26. Put present in box, and tie down with string. 27. Remove string, open box and remove cat. 28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room. 29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials. 30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and re-lock. 31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best!) 32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas. 33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job. 34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make cup of coffee and feed cat. 35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion. 36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat. 37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked. 38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present. 39. Vow to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the thing for you. |
i have never seen a cat who would sit still long enough to endure that!
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Try that with one of ours & you'd have to rename yorself...Claude Balls.
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1324346271.jpg |
A Christmas present for Schrodinger?
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Actually, he's a 20 pound lover...but ohboy does he have a strong will. Takes no krap from his 16 pound "little" brother. Siblings we picked up at the local no kill shelter. Would have been criminal to separate them.
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1324353117.jpg |
That is a really cool pair. We have a hard time putting the set of "cat antlers" on ours at Christmas....and they never stay on long enough for a picture.
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Cat antlers? HOOT! I don't think I'd even try...;)
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I think it will hard for me coz', cat is very restless.
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