My condolances as well...All of us who have lost both parents know (in our own way) what you are going through.

Patrick,
Sorry to hear your big lost. We are here and you can talk to us. Although I can't feel what you feel, but I understand how it is. Don't feel bad, all old people complain. All sons get pissed at their mom sometimes, but we all love them. Your parents did amazing job and you guys are amazing.

I read this when you first posted this yesterday. Re-read it last night and now this morning.

There were no words that I felt were adequate to put to pen to convey my thoughts and sorrow .

There still isn't.

It stirred up memories for me . Hard to believe it's been over 40 years since my moms passing when I was 11 . I spent most of my time then playing basketball with friends and being an 11 year old . I'd like to think she knew that I loved her and wonder how sometimes it might have impacted me if she'd have lived .

Although my dad passed 8 years later (when I was 19) of Leukemia I think it was also because of a broken heart.

They put their stamp on you .

Their thoughts , ideals , beliefs .

Even at my young age I felt they were doing a better job raising me from the grave then other parents were doing with their kids.

I feel at times it might have been easier dealing with this so many years ago .

Seems there are many pelicans now of a certain age with aging parents facing this . All the years of bonding and memory making must be very tough. What you are facing and others will be dealing with I'm glad to not have to deal with today.

Be thankful of the time you had . The fights you had and your parents had blur and mostly loving memories and the fun times remain given time . Of this I can speak .

Truly sorry for your loss , wishing I had words that might sooth some pain .

Although I've never met you or your folks I feel you've given us a glimpse into the type of man you've become because of them .

I say good on them .

And good on you .

Best to you in the coming days .

Jonathan

Very well written. Sorry for your loss. I was adopted at birth. My birthfather committed suicide not that long after I was born and he and my b-mom split. I regret never having met him and the circumstances surrounding his passing. My father passed in 2006 after a prolonged battle to recover from major heart surgery. He never left the hospital but took 8 months to go. I miss him. He could drive me crazy, was a recovering alcoholic who overcame that and many other things. He built a solid life and me and my sister were lucky to have been "picked" by him and my mom. My mom is a bundle of nerves who sometimes doesn't seem to handled daily life well but on the other hand kicked booze, graduated college at 50, is well read, traveled and articulate. She dotes and that can drive me nuts but I love her to death. If you've seen 50/50, Anjelica Huston's character is close.

You and your siblings are a testament to their love and hard work. They did an amazing job and knew you loved them.

Reading your words about impatience with your mom strikes home. I still have both parents (80's) and am exactly the same way.

When my kids were young, my dad described it as "long days and short years". Reading your post makes realize the same can be true with elderly parents. Thanks for your words. Probably served as a reminder to many of us to make some changes. I know it did for me.

Thanks,

So sorry Patrick.


Since my Dad passed 8 years ago, I have become closer with my mom even though I'm still 100 miles away.


If you are anything like your writing(which I suspect you are) your mom knew she was loved.


May she reast in peace.

Sorry for your loss.

You write very well, and express thoughts in a universal way.

May I suggest as a form of therapy, writing some more about this and what your are currently feeling and turn it into a short story or book. Who knows, it may help others with less abilities one day to cope and sort things out.

Patrick, very sad to hear. Hang in there.

Patrick, I am very sorry to here of your moms passing. My condolences to your family.

Great advice. Patrick is one solid man who does indeed write well.

It is funny how families evolve. I was definitely my Mother's son. We were extremely close in all manner of traits and outlooks. She was my magnetic north until the day she died in 1990.

My Father remains a brilliant yet diffident man...slow to praise, clumsy with affection. There was a moment when I questioned why she had to die first. We have become much closer and share our love for my children, with whom he sheds the cloak of reserve.

I love them both the same, just like you did Patrick with your parents, in our own unique way. I wish you a moment in time when peace of mind is possible.

Wow. "What a post" is right.

Patrick you've really highlighted the loving difference between parents of yesterday who were more interested in setting a good, respectable, example rather than than the typical parents of today being hyper-focused on being liked by spoiled dependents.

Clearly they both did a great job raising their offspring. -- they will always be with you all.

Very sorry for your loss.

I would give everything I have for one day with my mom. The hurt never goes away. Honoring the loved ones who have past by telling stories about them and remembering the little things they did or said keeps them forever alive in our hearts and mind.

I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

Patrick,
I'm so sorry for your loss. You're in my prayers!

Best wishes to your family and yourself! It does get better for us and they are already in a better place!

Ah, Patrick.

Recently, my very aged father experienced a sudden loss of sight. He can still see somewhat, but it will alter the rest of his life. I literally just returned from seeing him, and I have to admit, this is the first time ever in my life that I have seen him at a loss. It was good to be there for him, just to be there.

I must confess that I have not been to honest or forward with my thoughts and feelings as you have. I have been very angry, taking it out on those around me, and no doubt some of you here. It has been a lot easier for me to be angry than to be open and honest about what I really feel, so I must say that I admire your facing the feelings you are having and your willingness to express them and be so clear about them.

We don't always fool the ones who love us about our feelings as much as we fool ourselves, so thanks for being straight with us. All I have to offer you in return is my condolences, and to let you know that what you have shared has meant something important to me.

Keep sharing, and trust that your mother somehow knows how you feel.

Sorry for your losses. Both my fiancee and I became "orphans" on 2jan12. My mother died in '03, my father last month. Unlike Paul, I was "the apple of my father's eye" as opposed to my older brother who was "mom's". I still haven't really processed my dad's passing or the concept of being parentless. There was a bit of stuff stirred up yesterday as the trust documents came from the lawyer. I suppose once that is all sorted out it will be "done" but that is all mechanical processes. The best thing I can take from this is to figure out what my parents did well (which was plenty), and apply that with my son. And similarly, figure out what my parents did poorly (which was plenty) and avoid that with my son. And beyond that, realize that the only day you have is today.

Very sorry,Pat. My deepest condolences