French Parenting

[RWebb]

Why French Parents Are Superior by Pamela Druckerman - WSJ.com

[KaptKaos]

Hey Webby,


Does you has childrens?

[HardDrive]

Take a hike Frog lover.

[aigel]

How much TV do the French kids watch?

G

[oldE]

Geeze HD, use the green text, would ya!

I agree with a couple of points in the article:

Instant Gratification is not good for anyone, children or adults. If you do not have to work for something you will not appreciate it.

The parent MUST be in charge. It is the same with children and pets. I do not want to live in a world ruled by the whims of 3 year old children or dogs. If you have children, make them understand rules are for everyone. Our lives will be improved.

Nothing earth shattering in the piece, but when you walk through stores and public areas and find yourself feeling relief when you witness the result of good parenting, you realize how seldom it is practiced.

Best
Les

[widgeon13]

Why did she pick French parents from the European community, why not German?

[cairns]

There's hope for Webb yet (he's reading the WSJ). I thought the article had a number of good points. I don't have kids but have had my share of the screaming little monsters running amok and have seen plenty of parents without a clue as to how to control them. Hopefully this thread won't degenerate into an anti Gallic screed.

[oldE]

Originally Posted by widgeon13

Why did she pick French parents from the European community, why not German?

She lives in France.

Les

[Roosterrusek]

If there is one thing in this piece that rings true from pure observation of the people that know with small kids, it's the pick them up as soon as they start screaming. There is much validity to this, and I think the coddling nature is detrimental.

Side note...was in Big Lots yesterday getting last minute SuperBowl party supplies. As I was getting my crap, I heard an announcement reminding parents to keep control of their children. Then, the same message was repeated in SPANISH!!! I went right up to the manager and said thank you, he told me it was in response to so many complaints, and the fact that they had to constantly follow up with stuff yanked off the shelves from kids hose parents were not paying attention....

....your precious little snowflake is not "expressing himself", he's out of control. Guess what, he's special just like every other snowflake, which of course means none of them are.

[M.D. Holloway]

French have many things going for them and several not...take your pick.

[Don Plumley]

This was an interesting article. One vignette I pulled out was the "American" family trying to order a rushed dinner and eat in shifts. That rings a sad, familiar bell. This was in contrast to French (and other) families able to enjoy a leisurely dinner in the company of their children.

[epbrown]

I agree with a lot of what the article says, based on my own upbringing and what I'm seeing now. As a child, during family gatherings we were all relegated to a play area while the adults talked and did as they wished. The oldest child was expected to referee any arguments and direct the younger kids.

Now, family gatherings are chaos as my cousins and siblings let the kids run amuck, interrupting, interjecting, attempting to run and play in the midst of things.
Out of 20 cousins, a total of 40 parents, there are two households of well-behaved kids, and both families have the same explanation "Hey, we weren't raised like that, why should my kids be?"

[sammyg2]

When his kids' school explained that they had a strict non-violence policy, G. Gordon Liddy replied, "In the late 1930s French children were taught that philosophy while German kids were taught to be fierce in battle.
Given the destruction of the numerically superior French armies by the Wehrmacht in about thirty days, I prefer the German approach. The school will just have to live with it."

[speeder]

Wow, a non-sequitur from Sammy. What a surprise.

WTF does G. Gordon Liddy or some school's policy on fighting have to do with the article being discussed? Absolutely, ****ing nothing. But thanks for sharing.

That's a great article and hits the nail on the head. American kids just suck, for the most part. The exceptions, (including the children of a certain member here), are so noticeably glaring. They should not be.

Everywhere you go in the U.S., you see horrible parenting these days. Maybe it's because people wait too long to have kids and they've either forgotten what kids are really like, or maybe they feel guilty because they know that they have no parenting skills, or(??)

It seems way worse in affluent areas than it is in poor ones. Like the poor people still whip their kids or something, I don't know... The point of the article is that you do not even need corporal punishment, just respect from kids and a willingness to use your authority. In Los Angeles and NYC, it's worse than the rest of the country. Rich, entitled people are a lot like children themselves and you know what they say about kids having kids. It's sort of the same as ghetto dwellers reproducing in junior HS, except that the rich people do not even attempt to discipline the kids.

I work in houses with small kids screaming their heads off, etc. It always makes me remark sarcastically that I'm so sorry that I never had kids. My workers always agree 100%. There are a LOT of people who basically loathe small children these days because of American child rearing habits. Little schit-heads.

[Jim Richards]

Originally Posted by speeder

That's a great article and hits the nail on the head. American PARENTS just suck, for the most part.

Fixed it. And I agree that it's a good article. American parents have the kids they deserve, but it's never too late to try to reverse a bad trend.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by aigel

How much TV do the French kids watch?

G

This is a very legitimate question. My brother and his wife, (who is French), have an apartment in Paris that I sometimes use. It's a beautiful place but the lack of modern electronic goods is striking to this American. One of my favorite activities is watching films and there is a great video/DVD rental place in the neighborhood. I offered to buy them a nice plasma TV and DVD player for the apartment, mostly for selfish reasons but I also thought it would be a nice gift.

I luckily told my brother of this plan without my SIL present. He told me that she would not allow a television set in their home. That she would probably throw it in the trash or give it away to a stranger on the sidewalk. The home she grew up in had no TV and her family considers it an ugly thing to have in a house.

Now mind you, I'm an American and don't feel the same way. I spend a lot of time watching films and DVDs on my TV but I do not have cable and watch no broadcast TV for the last ~30 years, unless I'm in a bar or at someone else's house. It's impossible to completely stop watching TV in the U.S., it's on everywhere you go.

I do not think that my SIL's feelings about TV are the norm in France. She is from a very upper-crust background, which in that country means that her parents and other relatives are scientific intellectuals and artists, as opposed to hedge fund moguls or something similar here. FWIW, virtually ALL of her nieces and nephews are incredibly high achievers, partly due to inherited brains but also from the way they were raised without a doubt. There is a pronounced absence of the types of losers that emanate from rich, privileged families in the U.S. (They are rich).

In this conversation, my brother started quoting studies that supposedly prove that the mental development of children is linked to television watching in a reverse correlation. That the act of sitting in front of a TV set for hours actually affects brain chemistry and development in small children in a measurable way. I was not familiar with these studies but had no problem believing him. Having the stupidity of advertising constantly bombarding you can't be good. It's like eating nothing but Hostess Twinkies and expecting to become an Olympic athlete. It's feeding your brain schit.

So needless to say, no plasma TV for their apartment. I'll have to settle for staring at the Miro on the wall or reading the great books.

[Jim Richards]

What's wrong with staring at a Miro?

[speeder]

Nothing. Plenty of great African art as well.

[sammyg2]

Dont ya just love it when people who have never had kids try to tell others how to raise their kids?

When they have kids and raise them THEN they will have reason to comment on the subject. Until then they should just STFU and not make themselves look any more foolish.

There are way too many people in this world who have no knowledge or experience on a subject they pretend to be experts at.

[Seahawk]

The article was actually spot on about many, many aspects of parenting.

I think I'll start a group: Parents Without borders

I hope I don't offend anyone, but at certain stages of life, kids are puppies and puppies are kids, which Rika my little pup has had a habit of reminding me lately. They need the same things: Structure, guidance, love and consistency of purpose.

We are pack animals and crave when we are young the protection the herd provides, the structure.

I am at a disadvantage concerning parenting since most of my friends are good ones. They all share the same trait(s): they pay attention, have a plan and provide order and security.

My children are far from perfect, but my wife and I feel we have given them the gift of freedom of expression within the boundaries of their age, a sense of duty, of responsibility and a willingness to work to share and try.

That all I have. So far, so good.