Crazy Women

[legion]

Anyone else have crazy women in their life they just can't seem to shake?

There is this one girl, let's call her J. We both work for the same company, but not with each other. She is friends with all of my coworker friends though. I for the life of my cannot figure out why they tolerate her.

J is the same age as me, so about 33. I've known her since we were both 21. She is about 30 lbs. overweight. She should be wearing makeup to cover her acne, but doesn't bother. Her hair is unkept. She often wears outfits that are way too revealing, and frequently make me want to vomit. She claims to have been a cheerleader in high school. Event if she was from a small town and only had 80 people in her high school, I can't see it.

You'd think that her physical appearance would keep people away, or possibly conceal a shy, sweet person. You'd be wrong. J is a drama queen. She is extremely emotional, and prone to fits of violent (and I do mean violent--see below) outbursts alternating with crying. She is bat $h!t crazy. She admits to watching television shows on her iPhone while driving into work because "If God sees it fit to take me, I don't want to see it coming." She frequently picks up hitch hikers, according to her in a hope to get murdered or raped. She has expressed a desire to get artificially inseminated, but thankfully that has never materialized. She goes on a lot of first dates, but never any second dates as the psychosis just oozes out of her.

So J was in my circle of friends from 2000-2002. I didn't like her and I kept my distance, but the relationship wasn't contentious. By the end of 2002, all of our mutual friends had quit their job with our employer and moved somewhere else. I didn't see her again until 2005. Apparently sometime during her absence from my life, she hit and nearly killed a guy on a motorcycle, had most of her assets seized as part of a settlement, and declared bankruptcy.

J re-emerged in 2005 when she made friends with some of my other coworker friends. The thing is, this time around, she was an unholy b!tch. No longer did she tolerate my presence. If I was having lunch with friends and she was there, she would interupt me and talk over me. She frequently says things to me like: "I'm changing the subject because I don't want to talk about [whatever the subject of the conversation is]." One lunch, she stabbed me with a fork. She's also kicked me numerous times, though never at work. I did let her know that the next time she committed battery on me, I would hit back. She hasn't challenged that.

I've seriously never done anything to antagonize her, other than teasing her lightly when I thought our relationship was civil. (Okay, so I did call her a "sperm burglar" when she announced she wanted to get pregnant, but didn't want to have to pay for it or have sex with a guy.) I think most of her animous comes from the 2000-2002 period, when two of her friends had big crushes on me, but I was dating my now-wife.

In 2007, I embarked on a concerted campaign to be nice to her. I did a lot of favors for her. She remained an unholy b!tch. I gave up on trying to be nice. When I know she is being invited to lunch, I don't go. I don't invite her to anything I host or organize. She has never been to my new house, and I've never been to hers.

Here's the crazy thing: several of our mutual friends have told me that they put all of the blame on her for our contentious relationship. No one knows why for sure she behaves this way towards me. These same friends have told her that she is often not invited to things when I'm there because of her behavior. That's all fine and good, but they still don't always tell me when they invite her to things, and I am frequently unpleasantly surprised to find her there. I honestly can't figure out why they still tolerate her.

So...what are your crazy woman stories?

[BlueSkyJaunte]

Originally Posted by legion

crazy women

Today's catchphrase was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Dept.!

[id10t]

I'm married to a redheaded puerto rican... need I say more?

[stomachmonkey]

At some point her life she was abused and something about you, your appearance, personality, maybe even some insignificant habit you have like licking your knife reminds her of her abuser/s.

[Tervuren]

Sometimes it takes awhile, but I've always been able to shake 'em.

If you REALLY want to shake this girl - consider not going to anything done by anyone that knows her, and might possibly have her there. If thats not possible, if she does show up/is there, leave. I've had one really extreme case of a girl not leaving me alone, and this is what I had to do. Stunk if I was having a good time, she shows up, and I have to jump in my car and leave my friends, but after about a year, bumping into her started to happen less and less, promptly leaving whenever a certain someone shows up is a good way to get the message across. It won't happen overnight though, it may take a long time.

Consider a new set of friends entirely if you really want to be rid of her.

[Jim Richards]

I'm still repressing those memories.

[72doug2,2S]

This might come in handy..


Situation 1 - Crazy Girl has not detected your presence and is more than 100 m (350 ft) distant.

Don't announce your presence if the crazy girl has not seen you. If possible, retreat slowly and give the crazy girl plenty of space. If you have the opportunity, you should retreat and leave the area to the crazy girl. If you must continue, back off a short distance, and give the crazy girl time to leave the area. You should also do a wide detour quietly and quickly downwind to avoid problems.

Situation 2 - Crazy Girl has detected your presence, but is more than 100 m (350 ft) distant.

Your goal here is to act in such a way as to allow the Crazy Girl to identify you, but to also let it know that you are no threat. Speak calmly so that it knows you are a human (their eyesight is quite poor). They will often quickly give ground to you once they identify you as human. If the situation permits, back away slowly, keeping a close eye on the crazy girl. Otherwise, you may wish to detour around the crazy girl, but in this case, detour upwind so that the Crazy Girl can get your scent. Keep talking calmly. Waving your arms may help it identify you as a human.

Situation 3 - Crazy Girl has detected you and shows signs of aggression

If you have followed the advice listed above, hopefully you have a bit of distance between the crazy girl and yourself. You'll need to

• Assess the situation. Are you dealing with a fat crazy girl? Are there cupcakes involved? Are there men’s restrooms nearby (and do you have sufficient time to enter them)?
• Do Not Run. You can't outrun a crazy girl so don't even try. Despite rumours to the contrary, crazy girls can outrun a human on ANY terrain, uphill or down. People will tell you that you should run downhill when chased by a crazy girl. This is simply a myth - don't try it!
• Try to retreat slowly. Back up slowly and try to put more space between you and the crazy girl. Talk calmly so that it can identify you as human, and slowly back up. Keep your backpack on as it can provide protection if necessary. Don't make direct eye contact, but keep a close look at the crazy girl as you back away.
• Climb a tree if available. If you have enough time, and the crazy girl continues to move closer, take advantage of a tall tree to climb. Remember, fat girls are strong climbers as well. Crazy Girls have also climbed short distances up trees after people. You want to get at least 10 m (33 feet) high to reduce the chance of being pulled out of the tree. Even though some crazy girls can come up the tree after you, the hope is that they will feel less threatened, and thus less likely to chase you up the tree.
• If the Crazy Girl charges you. Crazy Girls will often bluff charge before attacking. This is designed to allow enemies to back down before the crazy girl needs to actually make contact. It evolved as a way to prevent encounters with enemies and it may provide you with an opportunity to back away.
• Use your pepper spray. This is a last resort. Pepper spray is only good at very close range (5 m or 15 ft). Wind will reduce this effective range even farther (and may blow the spray back into your face). If the crazy girl approaches within this range, point the spray at its eyes and discharge the contents. Hopefully, this will either disorient the crazy girl to allow you to escape, or at the very least deter it from attacking. Once you have partially discharged a canister of pepper spray it should be discarded. While the spray may deter attacks, the smell of pepper can act as an attractor.
• If a Crazy Girl that is stalking you makes contact. If the attack escalates and a crazy girl (or any crazy girl that appears to have been stalking you) physically contacts you, fight back with anything that is available to you. If a crazy girl is stalking you, you are in a predatory situation and fighting back is your only option. This also applies to any attack at night as these may also be considered predatory in nature.
• If a Crazy Girl makes contact. As above, if you believe the crazy girl to be stalking you, fight back with everything you have. In general though, playing dead in a daytime crazy girl encounter tends to reduce the level of injury sustained by most attack victims. Many crazy girl attacks are defensive in nature, and playing dead may show the crazy girl that you are not a threat. Keep your backpack on as it will provide added protection. The best position is to lie on your side in a fetal position. Bring your legs up to your chest and bury your head into your legs. Wrap your arms around your legs and hold on tight. You may also lie on your stomach, backpack on, and place your hands behind your neck to protect that vulnerable area. Do not play dead until the last moment. Staying on your feet may allow you to dodge, or divert an attack.
• After the attack. Once the attack has ended, remain patient. After a few minutes, try to determine if the crazy girl is still in the area. If the crazy girl has moved on, you should make your way towards assistance as quickly as possible.

[pwd72s]

Fun thread. Makes me sooo glad it ain't my problem.

[widebody911]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

maybe even some insignificant habit you have like licking your knife

Or eyebrows.

[legion]

Does anyone know when opening day is for Crazy Girl Season in Illinois? Do you have to use a bow?

[legion]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

At some point her life she was abused and something about you, your appearance, personality, maybe even some insignificant habit you have like licking your knife reminds her of her abuser/s.

I strongly suspect this is the case. Still, it doesn't give her the right to be an unholy b!tch to me.

[HHI944]

Originally Posted by id10t

I'm married to a redheaded puerto rican... need I say more?

So, do you sleep in a flak jacket?

Women are nuts......every last one of em...

[Zeke]

Go on the offensive. Ask her point blank, "What do you want from me?"

Be prepared for the answer.

Be prepared to answer back.

[rnln]

You are her secrete admire, but couldn't let anyone know because of n unknown situations

Originally Posted by legion

Anyone else have crazy women in their life they just can't seem to shake?

There is this one girl, let's call her J. We both work for the same company, but not with each other. She is friends with all of my coworker friends though. I for the life of my cannot figure out why they tolerate her.

J is the same age as me, so about 33. I've known her since we were both 21. She is about 30 lbs. overweight. She should be wearing makeup to cover her acne, but doesn't bother. Her hair is unkept. She often wears outfits that are way too revealing, and frequently make me want to vomit. She claims to have been a cheerleader in high school. Event if she was from a small town and only had 80 people in her high school, I can't see it.

You'd think that her physical appearance would keep people away, or possibly conceal a shy, sweet person. You'd be wrong. J is a drama queen. She is extremely emotional, and prone to fits of violent (and I do mean violent--see below) outbursts alternating with crying. She is bat $h!t crazy. She admits to watching television shows on her iPhone while driving into work because "If God sees it fit to take me, I don't want to see it coming." She frequently picks up hitch hikers, according to her in a hope to get murdered or raped. She has expressed a desire to get artificially inseminated, but thankfully that has never materialized. She goes on a lot of first dates, but never any second dates as the psychosis just oozes out of her.

So J was in my circle of friends from 2000-2002. I didn't like her and I kept my distance, but the relationship wasn't contentious. By the end of 2002, all of our mutual friends had quit their job with our employer and moved somewhere else. I didn't see her again until 2005. Apparently sometime during her absence from my life, she hit and nearly killed a guy on a motorcycle, had most of her assets seized as part of a settlement, and declared bankruptcy.

J re-emerged in 2005 when she made friends with some of my other coworker friends. The thing is, this time around, she was an unholy b!tch. No longer did she tolerate my presence. If I was having lunch with friends and she was there, she would interupt me and talk over me. She frequently says things to me like: "I'm changing the subject because I don't want to talk about [whatever the subject of the conversation is]." One lunch, she stabbed me with a fork. She's also kicked me numerous times, though never at work. I did let her know that the next time she committed battery on me, I would hit back. She hasn't challenged that.

I've seriously never done anything to antagonize her, other than teasing her lightly when I thought our relationship was civil. (Okay, so I did call her a "sperm burglar" when she announced she wanted to get pregnant, but didn't want to have to pay for it or have sex with a guy.) I think most of her animous comes from the 2000-2002 period, when two of her friends had big crushes on me, but I was dating my now-wife.

In 2007, I embarked on a concerted campaign to be nice to her. I did a lot of favors for her. She remained an unholy b!tch. I gave up on trying to be nice. When I know she is being invited to lunch, I don't go. I don't invite her to anything I host or organize. She has never been to my new house, and I've never been to hers.

Here's the crazy thing: several of our mutual friends have told me that they put all of the blame on her for our contentious relationship. No one knows why for sure she behaves this way towards me. These same friends have told her that she is often not invited to things when I'm there because of her behavior. That's all fine and good, but they still don't always tell me when they invite her to things, and I am frequently unpleasantly surprised to find her there. I honestly can't figure out why they still tolerate her.

So...what are your crazy woman stories?

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by Zeke

Go on the offensive. Ask her point blank, "What do you want from me?"

Be prepared for the answer.

Be prepared to answer back.

+1

Let her reply completely uninterrupted and no matter what her response,your reply should be 3 short words with a wave of your hand:

"I dismiss you."


And then never acknowledge her existence. There is absolutely no reason you have to put up with this drama.

[intakexhaust]

Originally Posted by legion

Does anyone know when opening day is for Crazy Girl Season in Illinois? Do you have to use a bow?

Legion - Too funny and I just happened to be in Bloomington this week. Just watched American Guns last night and some customer spec'd a 50 cal. long range, more than ample for a big mad rhinoceros. Thoughts... LOL

[lonewolf]

In all seriousness someone like this could give you real trouble.
Her actions in the past show you that she is capeable of anything.
plenty of red flags.

Best thing is to avoid her at all costs.
Confronting her will get you no where and may set her off even more .

[svandamme]

Originally Posted by Zeke

Go on the offensive. Ask her point blank, "What do you want from me?"

Be prepared for the answer.

Be prepared to answer back.

Or just get a restraining order.

[HHI944]

I know a guy in boston who'll take care of it for ten grand...

[intakexhaust]

Originally Posted by Zeke

Go on the offensive. Ask her point blank, "What do you want from me?"

Be prepared for the answer.

Be prepared to answer back.

Point blank seems a bit close. Need some safe distance and use the cross hairs...