Your cost of 'Family Assessment' after Divorce?

[mikeesik]

Hello.

I'm just curious what the mean rate is going for in the U.S to have a 'Family Assessment'

done in a Divorce Custody Battle.

I have 2 Kids and I wish to have custody of my Son, and he -me.
He just turned 12.

This is costing me $16000.

What a great profiteering career gamut to be into!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Zeke]

I'll say. Where do I apply?

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

WOW!!! Though placing a price tag on a child (please understand I am NOT saying you are doing that) by the court seems rather macabre to me! What is a "family assessment" and what gives someone the certification or experience required to make a proper decision? And how does money or personal opinion NOT factor into a choice by a third party as to who should take over care of a child? Guess I am asking how anyone can be sure the decisions made by a third party are actually in the best interest of the child and not the third parties own warped/misguided/well intentioned personal opinion?


I wish you the best! My divorce wiped out all money I had saved and put away in my first less than 1/4 century on this earth. I have never recovered financially but am WAY ahead of where I had been had I not divorced.

Most of all, I wish the best for your children! They really are the most important people in this whole scenario. I had a buddy whose parents divorced back in middle school. Son went with father, daughter with mother. We felt bad for the daughter, her mother was the definition of trainwreck. The girl never recovered, the mother made sure she never had a chance.

[GWN7]

Usually a assessment is ordered by the courts and is conducted by child and family services. It is a zero cost to both parties.

If your lawyer has suggested that you pay someone for this service so thay can present the findings to the court I would say that it's time to get a new lawyer.

[mixer911]

I'm not quite sure what that is?I'm sure poeple on welfare divorce and dont buck up that kind of money.
Best advice dont do what most guys do ,when your wife trashes you in court,say I dont
agree with that ,im not about to say anything neg about the mother of my child.
THAT A JUDGE UNDERSTANDS

[flatbutt]

Well in my case 25 years ago it cost $2500 to have a mediator recommend keeping our kids together. And neither of us ever considered splitting them! But it was an ugly divorce and the court decided we needed the mediator.

[jcommin]

You better be prepared for a battle and spending allot of money. I can speak for the law in IL which heavily favors the mother.

My ex made 3 attempts at suicide, hospitalized 2 times, alcoholic, several affairs, left me with my 2 boys and filed for divorce asking for sole custody.

I had a very good lawyer and the best I could get was joint custody w/o going thru the system and I would probably lose.

I had 20K in bills and this was after we both sat down and made an agreement. My lawyer wasn't very happy with the settlement but months of extensions and cost do take a toll on you. It was affecting both my kids and even if I won, I would be suffering from the fallout.

Lucky for me, my oldest was over 18, my youngest was 15. They lived apart for 2 years and that caused a problem. I would suggest you keep your family together and negotiate a liberal visitation.

Today, my oldest lives me, my youngest is at a private school 800 miles away (that is costing 100K). The divorce and his mom's behavior's really affected him. He will turn 18 in Oct and I count days till that time. He will not live with his mom.

Listen to your lawyer and really think about the impact of cost, time and splitting your family up.

Good luck. I can honestly say going thru a divorce was one of the darkest periods in my life. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

[mikeesik]

I was the one that requested the Family assessment.

After 7.25 years of an ongoing Divorce and mind you a sickening feeling for all that time. This would be the only way to gain custody.

Last May, the mother beat the boy and he/we were able to get a restraining order against his mother.

After 6.5 fantastic weeks of living together, I had to go to court.

The judge heard the story and in these terms out loud he said" the boy will go back to his mother and I'm sure she misses him and therefore will be a better mother for it"

I was stunned.
The laws here are absolutely biased towards females-regardless of their behavior.

I picked up my Son after school on Friday and then told him.
You cannot imagine after I told him he had to go back , how insanely hopeless I felt and my Son was begging me for him to stay .
Really sucks when you are a parent and are powerless to help your Children!

[Hawktel]

As a guy, the sooner you realize you don't have rights to your child(ren)....

Well you won't be happy, but perhaps more realistic.

[mikeesik]

Originally Posted by hawktel

as a guy, the sooner you realize you don't have rights to your child(ren)....

Well you won't be happy, but perhaps more realistic.

i hear you !

[jcommin]

I know allot of good men that have been shut out by the legal system. A child needs one grounded parent - someone who can rise above the crap and not use children as a football.

In my case I got liberal visitation - a parenting agreement is the first step in the state of IL. Child support is basically a calculation: you make x and she makes y and the number is the number. What you would like to get is 51%. I live 1 mile away from my ex and my boys could bike or walk to my place. The high school was betwen us. Logistically everything worked but my youngest had behavioral issues which led to other things which is why he is at a private school. He needed to get away from his mom, the city and me. He graduates this December and I'm anxious as to what his life will look like - I know he needs a relationship with his mom but he needs to set limits. That is allot to ask of an 18 yr old.

I hope for you, your soon to be ex backs down and the both of you can agree.

[cstreit]

Originally Posted by mikeesik

I picked up my Son after school on Friday and then told him. You cannot imagine after I told him he had to go back , how insanely hopeless I felt and my Son was begging me for him to stay . Really sucks when you are a parent and are powerless to help your Children!

Sorry to hear this. I hope it works out for you....

[GWN7]

You should ask your lawyer who has jurisdiction in this case? That is if one judge issued the restraining order against the mother and was a different judge than sent your son back to his mother. Did the family court judge vacate the first order? Did they have the authority to do so? You can always complain about and appeal a judges decision.